Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Darl]

Been here quite a while, seen many come and go, and here is a smattering of those I despise.

1. Love My Children... These girls are often found with a myspace page with an involuntary power pallad to which you must browse the horrors of videos of the children in their class. If you teach with one of these syrens, then you must tolerate their $50 per week candy budget, much of which goes to the children in other classes in order to sway their opinion of you, to say....them...they will cry and throw a pizza party should one of their class have to quit the school...This is easily the most avoidable of any further category I shall mention. Most often spotted on facebook,Myspace or You Tube....

2.Contract Enforcer ....These people seem pissed from the moment they step foot upon Korean soil. There is no greater injustice to them than having to show at work at all. They demand documents from everything from health care to pay deductions, to maintenance monthlies in their apartments. 3. If their contract says a fan, even though a newly installed air con is there, they make a dramatic stand to an often horrified head teacher. Usually these requests are fulfilled in order to avoid the inevitable confrontation. They always have a copy of their contracts in their desk drawer and will pull it out and make loud grunts and threats of blacklisting to the boss if perhaps, say, a break is changed. They are usually cool to hang out with until they get drunk and start talking about how screwed their ....contract...is.....might be spotted on subway, looking angry, perusing contract, due to a dismassal 10 minutes late last night.

3.

Language Bully....Most often this person sees their job as not teaching English, but reinforcing to their students that they have indeed mastered the Korean language. They might impress the students with writing their names on the board in Hangul, rather than English. Might be seen in office or subway with Korean newspaper, pretending to read it, as though Korean is easier for them than English.

4. Drunk Guy...This guy is usually quite loveable, except for the fact that he can't seem to detach himself from the pub until 4am on a work night. Smells like booze until at least 3 pm. Always gets away with it with boss because of witty and fun personality, or boss' aversion to confrontation. Doesn't seem to mind too much at all in Korea, until he runs out of money, and then advances money from the boss until practically an indentured servant of sorts. Money can't leave their pocket quite fast enough. Most often spotted in Itaewon around payday.

5. Korea LoverOften seen denouncing their home country, claims everything in Korea is better. A discriminating judge of kimchi, can tell the difference between good and bad after only a month and a half in country. Doesn't need home comfort food, because they love raw squid and dog soup so much they could never possibly eat mac and cheese again. Perhaps shows up at school before a holiday wearing hanbokCan argue that Kimchi Chigae is the most delicious food in the universe...Most often spotted at Hannam supermarket or Costco with hat pulled over face.[/u]

[MollyBloom]

You forgot:

6. newbies

7. lifers

[VanIslander]

good descriptions of many I know

type 1 and 4 are usually nice to be around, but yeah, they're extreme personalties

[the boy next door]

how about handsome assed genius types that bring you joy and endless rays of magic sunshine? huh? don't we count for something?

[Darl]

handsome ass geniuses rock...thats why they didn't make the list.

however, I did forget the lifer. (gotta make fun of meself for a minute here.)

Lifers tend to have the Korean wife and baby, (babies)....Shall not acknowledge you on the street, because foreigners no longer are exciting. Nights in Itaewon or Hongdae are simply a distant memory, diapers have become reality while the Candy Bar and $20 drinks are just part of the past. They seem sad that they have to pay for their house while others don't. They are also angry that the second part of the Star Wars double-trilogy sucked. (Jar-Jar) They are very angry that their wives make them scrub the toilet rather than just pee it off. You can see the angst on their faces. In the end they acknowledge that Korean food doesn't taste very good. You guys have to know that in between every rocking samgyeopsal roast there are a good 5 days of squid and smelly soup. lots of rice too. Thank _od for Costco.

Newbies? they tend to fit into any of the 5 catagories previously mentioned, just depends on the person.

[eamo]

[Oreovictim]

I thought of one: Mr. "What, are you too good to be around your own kind? Guy

(I'm not saying that this is you, O.P. Your post is pretty amusing, but some of the examples that you've given reminds me of a foreigner or two from my past.)

Mr. "What, are you too good to be around your own kind?" Guy: This person is usually a young male, who's a fresh-out-of-college ex-frat, and perhaps a bit macho for his own good. Judgmental and overly paranoid, he cares a little too much in how other people live their lives. He feels that it's his god-given right to meddle in other foreigners' business based on the fact that both you and him are foreigners in Korea. Highly critical, he has no problem expressing his opinionated opinions about Korea to his Korean coworkers, who sit there in awkward silence.

Although a complete know-it-all, he can't read Korean. But to give him credit, he has managed to buy Making Out in Korean and actually learned a handful of words (and perhaps a sentence or two) - none of them being in any way practical for normal conversations. As far as social life, he rarely ventures outside of a foreigner bar or nightclub, and the only parts of Seoul that he knows are the college-clubbin' areas. When he wants a fresh change of scenery, he exposes himself to real culture by taking a vacation to Phuket, Thailand with the overly tattooed, loud-mouthed foreign girl who he met in Hongdae the week before.

The following things cause him to raise an eyebrow of disapproval, mutter in contempt, or give a blank look of confusion. The more of these he notices in you, the more of a misfit you are to him, who has little chance for redemption in the eyes of your foreign brothers and sisters.

- teachers who spend money out of their own pockets to buy stickers for students
- teachers who have a silly picture or two of students in their cell phone.
- foreigners who eat Korean food more than a few times a week
- foreigners who study Korean on a regular basis
- foreigners who rarely or never go to the foreigner bars. (Note: when he hasn't seen one of his buddies at the bars for a few weeks, he gets defensive)
- a foreigner who doesn't greet every single foreigner he sees
- a foreigner who isn't much of a social drinker

[tomato]

I plead guilty to being a Language Bully. I translate Korean picture books, use them in class, and hope everybody notices. I translate Korean children's songs, use them in class, and hope everybody notices. I read what the teacher has on the board for another class, comment on it, and hope everybody notices.

But please listen to my self-defense plea. I'm trying to tell the Korean teachers something. They escort me to the bus station because they don't think I can read the bus schedule. They escort me to the supermarket because they don't think I can read really tough words like 파인애플 and 바나나. They escort me from one classroom to the next because they don't think I know what 4학년 and 5학년 mean. They escort me to the restroom because they think I can't read the 화장실 sign.

I wonder what it would take to prove to them that I'm not a poor defenseless invalid who needs intensive care every minute.
If they see me reading ㄱ's and ㄴ's and ㄷ's enough times, I hope--I just hope--that they will get the message and buzz off.

And that, my friend, is why you might see me holding a Korean newspaper upside down.

[dmbfan]

OP...good post.


Though, you forgot the Apathetic Foreign Teacher, who sits on his/her (gernally a "her") ass and plays computer games all day, in between glasses and during prep time.


dmbfan

[IMF crisis]

Well, in the OP you do not specify NETs, so you are definitely leaving out Korean teacher types, like the type that teaches the kids so many mispronunciations and grammatically flawed phrases before you, that you have to spend the bulk of your class unteaching your kids.

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Sergio Stefanuto]

the 50 year old weirdo

50 year old weirdos come in two shapes and sizes - either religious or borderline alcy. But utterly, totally odd

The grad who, 20 years ago, would never, ever have gotten within a mile of college

About as sharp as a marble

The disillusioned white chick who married a Korean guy

lost, unpleasant, unhappy, a heavy smoker, borderline alcy, terrible mother. Gets drunk and flirts with foreign guys.

The angry and perpetually-plastered white guy who married a Korean girl

Waking up to an adjuma every morning with her kimchi breath isn't what he signed up for. He thought he was marrying gorgeous young Su Yeon. Resentful, violent, no interests. Hasn't read a book for a decade. Except Toss English Level 3, of course, which he uses for his "advanced" middle schoolers

The mystic, the Buddhist hippy

You won't see much of this guy. He's always at home chanting and meditating

The overconfident 'professional' who STILL loves Korea like it's his first month

Thinks a degree plus three years at Toss English makes him some kind of expert qualified to give advice to anyone blessed to cross his path.

The couple

One partner is always - always! - much better looking than the other. Good-looking, but unavailable.

The model

This man or woman is just straight-up gorgeous (but very arrogant and always American). They never do more than one year here, maybe even quit before half way. Too good-looking for all this crap.

the former army guy

These guys are usually fine, but tend to always mention the army and may also shout out - very unfunnily - army phrases ("sir, yes, sir!" etc).

the Valley girl gyopo

Always hot, but very loud and, like, annoying and stuff

[AmericanExile]

The most annoying teacher type or human type in general is:

The Nonstop Complainer - hates the job, hates coworkers (except the one being complained to at the moment), hates the food, hates the students, hates everyone and everything except complaining. Is usually found with their mouth open in a group of people who all look annoyed.

They are followed by:

Big Talkers - They are always pissed about something and spouting off about what they should/will do about it. Then fold like a house of cheese the moment they are confronted.

The next type is not one of the worst, but one of the most ridiculous.

Too Cool - Everything is stupid and they don't really care because they are above it all. They were Too Cool in high school. They were Too Cool in college. They will go on being Too Cool until at least 10 years after most people their age clue into the fact that cool is stupid.

[VanIslander]

[JongnoGuru]

Rare though they are, I've always enjoyed the OP's posts.

HOTSHOTS TAKE POTSHOTS
I see many of you coming up with lists that take potshots at everyone else, but are any of you man/woman enough to "out" yourselves as one of these categories of goofball teachers? Other than eamo and tomato, I don't think you are. So why not prove me wrong? C'mon, I want my immature little kicks, and I want 'em now.

Me? Oh, I guess I'm the "lifer" / "drunk guy" / "Mr. What, are you too good to be around your own kind? Guy" guy. If we were expanding this to include non-teachers. Which we're not.