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friendoken
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
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 Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:13 pm Post subject: Are you divorced? |
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I am divorced, was married for 14 years. Still keep in contact with my ex weekly by phone, more often by e-mail. In fact she came to laos for 2 weeks holiday recently and stayed with me and my Lao wife. We had a blast and she will come back next year.
I know this is unusual. Anyone feel that it's okay to still love your ex - not be "in love" - but love as friends? I bailed before things degenerated into vile bilious hatred. I just ain't got it in me to hate like that you know? |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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It would be too close to home for me to go back to someone platonically. For me, I think once you have broken then move on.
But, I am a real stickler for one person at one time and eggs in one basket type. |
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Kwangjuchicken
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Location: I was abducted by aliens on my way to Korea and forced to be an EFL teacher on this crazy planet.
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: Are you divorced? |
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| friendoken wrote: |
I am divorced, was married for 14 years. Still keep in contact with my ex weekly by phone, more often by e-mail. In fact she came to laos for 2 weeks holiday recently and stayed with me and my Lao wife. We had a blast and she will come back next year.
I know this is unusual. Anyone feel that it's okay to still love your ex - not be "in love" - but love as friends? I bailed before things degenerated into vile bilious hatred. I just ain't got it in me to hate like that you know? |
Look at Liz and Richard. |
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Emeliu
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Location: Korea, i'm OMW
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| Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:03 pm Post subject: Re: Are you divorced? |
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| friendoken wrote: |
I am divorced, was married for 14 years. Still keep in contact with my ex weekly by phone, more often by e-mail. In fact she came to laos for 2 weeks holiday recently and stayed with me and my Lao wife. We had a blast and she will come back next year.
I know this is unusual. Anyone feel that it's okay to still love your ex - not be "in love" - but love as friends? I bailed before things degenerated into vile bilious hatred. I just ain't got it in me to hate like that you know? |
Lol, are you sure you should've gotten divorced? You two seem to like each other an awful lot. |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:19 am Post subject: |
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I am divorced after 10 years with my ex... 3 years dating, 7 years of marriage.
I only talk to him on a need basis - mainly to do with our daughter. |
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sakamuras
Joined: 21 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:55 am Post subject: |
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| How did your Laos wife handle it? |
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the boy next door
Joined: 08 Jun 2008
Location: next door
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:05 am Post subject: |
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well...gee...oh, my...it hurts. 
it just hurts to think about it. 
words fail me. my bad... |
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itaewonguy
Joined: 25 Mar 2003
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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| tzechuk wrote: |
I am divorced after 10 years with my ex... 3 years dating, 7 years of marriage.
I only talk to him on a need basis - mainly to do with our daughter. |
this must of been recently.. As you are not korean, do you still live in Korea?
do you still have a F2 visa? |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| itaewonguy wrote: |
| tzechuk wrote: |
I am divorced after 10 years with my ex... 3 years dating, 7 years of marriage.
I only talk to him on a need basis - mainly to do with our daughter. |
this must of been recently.. As you are not korean, do you still live in Korea?
do you still have a F2 visa? |
Not that recent. 5 months already!
I'm on F5 - had it since June 2006. They aren't taking it from me that's for sure. |
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mayorgc
Joined: 19 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm wondering. How does a marriage end after being together for 5-10 years? After 2 or 3 years, don't you already know enough about the person? What changes so drastically that you decide to divorce? Did you get married to young? did situations change (financially or infidelity)? |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| mayorgc wrote: |
| I'm wondering. How does a marriage end after being together for 5-10 years? After 2 or 3 years, don't you already know enough about the person? What changes so drastically that you decide to divorce? Did you get married to young? did situations change (financially or infidelity)? |
Are you asking me? Cos I don't feel like answering. |
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mayorgc
Joined: 19 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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| nah, i was asking in general. |
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hauwande
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Location: gongju
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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| mayorgc wrote: |
| I'm wondering. How does a marriage end after being together for 5-10 years? After 2 or 3 years, don't you already know enough about the person? What changes so drastically that you decide to divorce? Did you get married to young? did situations change (financially or infidelity)? |
1) why do people have arguments?
2) why do people drink a bit much sometimes?
3) why do people go to religeous gatherings and fear things that dont exist, yknow, like children do monsters?
4) why do people change careers after 2-3 years? after all, dont you know enough about the job?
5) - 10000)......................
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friendoken
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| sakamuras wrote: |
| How did your Laos wife handle it? |
It was my Lao wife who actually invited my ex to come and visit. We, along with a neice and nephew spent the first week in Hua Hin, Thailand, then a few days in Vang Vieng in Laos, then a week at our house. My Lao wife was fine until we got to our house and then she just sort of stepped into a bit of a shell. I suppose when we were all on neutral turf everything was cool, but in her house she got weirded out. I talked to her and explained that I was her husband, I am never going back to the ex, but it is possible to still be friends. I know of others who have similar stories. Not many to be sure, but three or four. After a day she was fine. I was back teaching and the two lady's went all around town checking things out and shopping. In the end it was a perfect time. All the neighbours knew the story and they all thought my ex was fabulous, threw her a going away baci (traditional Lao party) gave her gifts etc. and asked her to please come back!
It is nice to not be at war with an ex. |
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Palladium
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:10 am Post subject: |
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| Married for 5 years, starting working 2nd shift and weekends. Marriage ended about a year and a half later. About the same time I got divorced, the job let a bunch of people go. I was one of them. Came to Asia about 15 years ago, haven't left. |
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