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Gay/lesbian with dependent - housing/visa questions

 
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mamagata



Joined: 13 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:44 am    Post subject: Gay/lesbian with dependent - housing/visa questions Reply with quote

So, I am looking to get a hagwon job (in Seoul, preferably) and also want to cohabitate with my same-gender partner. I've read a handful of the LGBT-related threads already and it looks like many queer couples come to Korea and both have jobs. In our case, I will have a job and she won't.

We are from the US and she can probably get a tourist visa and leave and come back for the six months we want to stay in Korea.

1. I'm wondering if other LGBT couples have done this whole visa dance?

2. I read that cohabitating with someone of the same gender in a small apartment is not surprising to Koreans. I'm curious if other folks have had partners stay with them long term and if the hagwon management has noticed or said anything?
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sugarkane59



Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

I'm not sure about your main query, but I noticed that you said you were only planning to stay in Korea for 6 months: Most contracts for hagwons require you to commit for at least a year. Have you managed to find a 6 month contract?

Thanks.
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mamagata



Joined: 13 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Working on getting a 6 month contract. We'll see what happens.

My question is if I bring my partner and she lives with me will the hagwon have any problem with this.

Straight people could more easily say, "I will be bringing my wife/husband," but we don't have that option and I highly doubt that I can get a dependent's visa for her. ;o)

Make sense?
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djsmnc



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mamagata wrote:
Working on getting a 6 month contract. We'll see what happens.

My question is if I bring my partner and she lives with me will the hagwon have any problem with this.

Straight people could more easily say, "I will be bringing my wife/husband," but we don't have that option and I highly doubt that I can get a dependent's visa for her. ;o)

Make sense?


Fortunately there are still some places in the world that frown on these...6 month contracts
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oftenadrift



Joined: 13 Dec 2008
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't let the posters so far deter you. You CAN find a 6-month contract. I've had a couple. Usually they just stipulate one-way airfare and the school is somewhat desperate for a teacher (take that however you like). As with any job you'll just have to trust your gut and do all the research you can.

As for your partner, I've known a few same sex couples that have shared their apartment (and one wasn't working/one was Korean etc). The catch is, they didn't tell there boss anything at all, and if asked, a 'friend' was staying with them.

Hate to say it, but Korea is stuck in the dark ages as far as same sex couples are concerned. You'll likely be shooting yourself in the foot as far as finding a job by disclosing a LGBT relatiobship unless you get a VERY westernized director. It was hard enough getting a hagwon to let my boyfriend and I share an apartment because we aren't married. Rolling Eyes

I'd recommend you find a position that perhaps offers key-money and housing allowance and find your own place as the single units provided by hagwons are usually pretty small. If the small size of the place doesn't bother you or your partner, just have her move on in. Oh yes, getting a tourist Visa will be very easy. Depending on your country, you can just walk in and get an automatic 6-month one (ie. Canada).
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soviet_man



Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This isn't a biggie.

US passport holders automatically get a 90 day stamp in their passport. That takes care of the first 3 months.

Then she can pay US$220 for a return ferry ticket to Japan (over and back in the same day generally) and she will get another 90 day stamp - taking care of the next 3 months.

As for living together, just don't tell them.

What they don't know, can't bother them.

The school generally will not come to the apartment until the end of the contract (to check for damage).
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mike123_ca



Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Location: wandering between Chonan and Asan

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My advice, stay far away from small towns or cities. The people will know everything about you. Then the parents will find out about your relationship.

They will make it an issue with your boss. Then your boss makes it an issue with you. Choose to live in a big city and not next door to your school. Then you should be okay.
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ewok



Joined: 27 May 2007

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lesbian friend of mine was forced to leave her job because one parent found out she was gay. She was with her partner, minding her own business at home, but the mother, who lived in the same apartment block, saw a simple kiss between the teacher and her partner.

then all hell broke loose. the mother spread it out, and the next day angry parents were demanding that the teacher never come into contact with their daughters, because they were afraid of sexual abuse...

yes, here being gay is directly equivalent to being a pedophile when it comes to teachers. best not to mention it at all.
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asmith



Joined: 18 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you stay in the closet while in the ROK, then you should be just fine.

You can hold hands in public. All the Koreans do it. But keep it to just that.

Just use your best judgement.

Nobody is going to spy on you--I think.
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polonius



Joined: 05 Jun 2004

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If asked, is there any chance saying that she is a family member would possibly fly as a suitable response?

I wouldn't worry too much about it though. I know of many homosexuals working in Korea. They are doing fine. I wouldn't mention it to anyone at work though, as there is an uber-conservative view on this issue.
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mamagata



Joined: 13 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate everyone's advice in response to my questions. It helps to know the possibilities and pitfalls that await us.

We'll be living in Seoul, ideally, so hopefully we'll be able to avoid students and their families more easily.

Who knows what sort of contract I'll end up wrangling. If you don't mind, keep your fingers crossed for us. I'll be around on the boards and will let folks know if I score a 6-month gig.

Paz!
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JongnoGuru



Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep

PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mamagata wrote:
Straight people could more easily say, "I will be bringing my wife/husband," but we don't have that option and I highly doubt that I can get a dependent's visa for her. ;o)

Why don't you both get your own jobs & visas and just live together?
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