Korean Job Discussion Forums

[grunden]

I was pretty sure it would happen. Last night she mentions the possibility of MMMMMARIAGE. In my mind I could see it all. Us shopping at emart together, buying tons of bulk products, our kids eating all the free samples, moving into the big apartment, me living in pusan for the next 10-20-30 years
My whole life passed before my eyes. My dreams of going to China, Japan, Russia, all went down the drain. What could I do, I just said -- lets talk about it -- later. Now she is all teary eyed and ran who knows where. what to do, what to do.

[VanIslander]

run, man... RUN !

(and when you catch up to her you'll know whether to commit or break up - it's time to decide)

[sakamuras]

And you wonder why foreign guys have a bad rep here.

Take some responsibility. Obviously she's not in the relationship just to comfort you during your stay in Korea.

[KOREAN_MAN]

Well, at least did you call her? Tell her you're sorry. I'd also make sure she's not pregnant. And GOOD LUCK.

[grunden]

[ED209]

[Snake Doctor]

Okay listen to me very carefully.

I don't know how old you are, but if you entertain the thought of marriage and you haven't finished doing all the things that you wanted to do as a single man yet, DO NOT LET HER GUILT TRIP YOU into something that you'll regret.

Make damn sure my friend, because Korean girls, once you tie the knot, will put the most unbelievable pressure on you to do what they deem worthy of a husband. This does NOT fall into line with western thought. This will include everything you can imagine that falls into the category of "responsibility".

Just be damn sure you know what you're getting into. Don't let her pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. If she really loves you, she can wait a couple of years - which she most likely won't. Unfortunately, the pressure on them to marry within a time frame they've been programmed - will probably win over any feelings.

Trust me, I've been married for 11 years to a Korean. I wanted to wait a couple of years and experience Japan, travel to SEA, and my wife laid a serious guilt trip on me. That doesn't mean I don't love her, because I do. It just means that I sacrificed a lot of plans to marry her. If I had it to do all over again, I probably would have gone on with my original plan. Would've lost her for sure, but at least I could've done the things I wanted to do before settling down.

It's a life choice, and although I'm better off for the decision I made - I should've followed my dreams and traveled more. Make no mistake, once you're married, (especially to a Korean girl) - your opportunities to travel and work in other countries go down exponentially.

However, there are exceptions to the rule. With any luck, you might even come to an understanding that you want to do all the things you want to do - and maybe she can wait for you.

[beercanman]

[Kurtz]

Sorry dude but I'm with sakamuris. You should know many K-girls are conditioned into getting married, and that having a plaything which will be promptly dumped on your exit from this country isn't a nice thing to do.

Try getting one of the wasted looking chain smoking K-girls that hang out in foreigner bars, they might be more open to a good time than a serious relationship.

[sakamuras]

Well, it's quite obvious the OP led his girlfriend into believing the relationship is something serious. By taking responibility, it means being honest with her regarding future plans and goals. Based on what the OP said, it appears Korea was only a stop on a personal world tour. Nothing wrong with that, but at least grow a pair and let the girlfriend know what the intentions are. Seems like the OP wants the "benefits" of a gf here in Korea, while also still pursuing his own independent goals.

That is just selfish in my opinion. There's another human being involved in the equation.

[asmith]

[beercanman]

Not if the marriage is awful. Guess I may be biased. I grew up in a miserable home. Parents hated each other. I have no doubt this has affected me deeply. Almost 40. No long term relationships ever. And I have wanted one for many years.

Sorry to veer off the main focus of the thread into my own self-pity haha

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Young FRANKenstein]

[sakamuras]