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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:39 pm Post subject: do you care what Koreans around you think (of about/you?) |
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here are the things that concern me. (vis a vis their opinion of me)
1) good/kind person, clean.
2) reliable, honest, full of integrity
2) professional in my approach to my job
3) outgoing and friendly generally and especially so with my students.
I think that's pretty much it.
here are the things that I could care less about what they think
1) what I eat/not eat
2) whether I eat alone or with someone else
3) what I wear/not wear
4) music I like/not like
5 basically any personal tastes, likes and dislikes that I consider "personal".
6) whether I'm married/not, whether I have children/not
7) what I do/not do (so long as it doesn't affect my "care' list)
Am I missing anything? and does anyone really disagree with me?
ps. whether they think I am "attractive" is an interesting one.
in a GENERAL sense, I do - because basic human perceptions of attractiveness go beyond cultural barriers, etc.
but when you get into minutiae.. like style/fashion - no I could care less about that stuff. |
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The evil penguin

Joined: 24 May 2003 Location: Doing something naughty near you.....
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:17 pm Post subject: Re: do you care what Koreans around you think (of about/you? |
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Epicurus wrote: |
here are the things that concern me. (vis a vis their opinion of me)
1) good/kind person, clean.
2) reliable, honest, full of integrity
2) professional in my approach to my job
3) outgoing and friendly generally and especially so with my students.
I think that's pretty much it.
here are the things that I could care less about what they think
1) what I eat/not eat
2) whether I eat alone or with someone else
3) what I wear/not wear
4) music I like/not like
5 basically any personal tastes, likes and dislikes that I consider "personal".
6) whether I'm married/not, whether I have children/not
7) what I do/not do (so long as it doesn't affect my "care' list)
Am I missing anything? and does anyone really disagree with me?
ps. whether they think I am "attractive" is an interesting one.
in a GENERAL sense, I do - because basic human perceptions of attractiveness go beyond cultural barriers, etc.
but when you get into minutiae.. like style/fashion - no I could care less about that stuff. |
The only people whose opinions I care about, are those whom I respect.
Not really an issue in korea............. |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I basically care if my boss and coworkers think I'm doing a good job at work. Other than that I don't give a flying **** what any Korean thinks of me.
Caring too much what other people think of them is exactly what makes Korean peoples' lives so high-pressure, stressful, and miserable. |
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manlyboy

Joined: 01 Aug 2004 Location: Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:34 pm Post subject: Re: do you care what Koreans around you think (of about/you? |
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Well, obviously many Koreans may tend to think of some of these concepts quite differently. For example, to a Korean these things could mean:
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1) good/kind person, clean. |
Blonde haired/blue-eyed person. It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose.
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reliable, honest, full of integrity |
Gullible, naive, full of submissiveness
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professional in my approach to my job |
Amateurishly leaves everything to the last minute.
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outgoing and friendly generally and especially so with my students. |
Entertain me, white monkey boy! |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:51 pm Post subject: Re: do you care what Koreans around you think (of about/you? |
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manlyboy wrote: |
Well, obviously many Koreans may tend to think of some of these concepts quite differently. For example, to a Korean these things could mean:
Quote: |
1) good/kind person, clean. |
Blonde haired/blue-eyed person. It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose.
Quote: |
reliable, honest, full of integrity |
Gullible, naive, full of submissiveness
Quote: |
professional in my approach to my job |
Amateurishly leaves everything to the last minute.
Quote: |
outgoing and friendly generally and especially so with my students. |
Entertain me, white monkey boy! |
in fairness, my school has expected none of these things from me.
although blonde/blue eyed came with the package.
unfortnately, the blonde and the blue came with A "package".
They took me anyways  |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009 Location: Electron cloud
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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Am past giving a cr*p about what people whom the majority I mostly don't respect think of me, nor do I share the same values, so it;s mostly irrelevant. Also, usually what htey think makes someone respectful, fun, has integrity is the opposite of how I judge it, so again, irrelevant.
And to the relatavists - I'm not changing my whole value system just becasue I passed a border. I will however do my best not to step out of line whilst I'm here. |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
Am past giving a cr*p about what people whom the majority I mostly don't respect think of me, nor do I share the same values, so it;s mostly irrelevant. Also, usually what htey think makes someone respectful, fun, has integrity is the opposite of how I judge it, so again, irrelevant.
And to the relatavists - I'm not changing my whole value system just becasue I passed a border. I will however do my best not to step out of line whilst I'm here. |
respectful is subject to cultural distortions but the things I listed, like integrity, which you also note, I do NOT think is subject much to cultural distortions. |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009 Location: Electron cloud
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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Epicurus wrote: |
DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
Am past giving a cr*p about what people whom the majority I mostly don't respect think of me, nor do I share the same values, so it;s mostly irrelevant. Also, usually what htey think makes someone respectful, fun, has integrity is the opposite of how I judge it, so again, irrelevant.
And to the relatavists - I'm not changing my whole value system just becasue I passed a border. I will however do my best not to step out of line whilst I'm here. |
respectful is subject to cultural distortions but the things I listed, like integrity, which you also note, I do NOT think is subject much to cultural distortions. |
It's not quite as black and white as that. For example I might be stickg by certain principles that I firmly believe, ie displaying integrity. A Korean might not respect my values and thus not think much of my integrity. A lot of things are a combination of factors rather than polarised binarys. |
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E_athlete
Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Location: Korea sparkling
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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yeah i have to admit it's really starting to irritate me lately.
There are a few teachers that insult me in Korean during lunch or in the teacher's room. I ask my co-teacher whom I help out a lot and he refuses to tell me what they are saying. This is what infuriates me the most. It's some kind of Korean code or something to not tell the foreigner what other people are honestly saying about you.
I noticed a trend where Korean teachers will tell me positive things about me that other teachers have said "so and so says you are soooo good looking. Teachers are wondering if you've met any K-girls yet!" But somehow they neglect to mention any not-so nice things others have said. Believe me some talk mad smack about me. About my age (im 26) and speculation about why I'm in Korea etc etc. Koreans teachers that talk mad garbage behind my back or in front of me during lunch approach me later for some friendly talk.
"so...how do you like this city?"
I really don't care what these people think of me but I have to admit it's infuriating how they talk about me in front of me in Korean and not think it's rude or anything. Sometimes I feel grateful for not knowing Korean because if I knew someone was insulting me I'd make a scene by insulting them rather harshly. |
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allovertheplace
Joined: 02 Aug 2009
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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this is an interesting topic.
Ive seen both sides of this. My advice, if a korean coworker says something disrespectful about you, just stare at them. Stare at them until they tip their head down and it will be a blatant disrespect to them. There are some things that cross cultural boundaries. One of them is talking about someone in a language they dont understand in front of them. The coworker that wont tell you is not being a dick because we must understand, he might be there longer than you and once you leave he will have to work with the disrespectful ones.
A little hint, if it really starts to piss you off, turn to a coworker and say" I understand more than they think". Say it loud enough to get everyones attention.
On the topic of understanding more korean being bad, I kinda agree. While it makes day to day life better, it makes work much worse. Kids will say the dirtiest stuff and it puts the teacher in an odd position. Again, I would tell the kid, i understand more than you think. That one phrase helped me out a lot. |
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cwflaneur
Joined: 04 Aug 2009
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: Re: do you care what Koreans around you think (of about/you? |
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Epicurus wrote: |
here are the things that concern me. (vis a vis their opinion of me)
1) good/kind person, clean.
2) reliable, honest, full of integrity
2) professional in my approach to my job
3) outgoing and friendly generally and especially so with my students.
I think that's pretty much it.
here are the things that I could care less about what they think
1) what I eat/not eat
2) whether I eat alone or with someone else
3) what I wear/not wear
4) music I like/not like
5 basically any personal tastes, likes and dislikes that I consider "personal".
6) whether I'm married/not, whether I have children/not
7) what I do/not do (so long as it doesn't affect my "care' list)
Am I missing anything? and does anyone really disagree with me?
ps. whether they think I am "attractive" is an interesting one.
in a GENERAL sense, I do - because basic human perceptions of attractiveness go beyond cultural barriers, etc.
but when you get into minutiae.. like style/fashion - no I could care less about that stuff. |
Is it specifically Koreans whose opinions you don't give a damn about (aside from the professional stuff) ? or do you feel the same about all people everywhere? |
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tzechuk

Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Nope. Why should I? |
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E_athlete
Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Location: Korea sparkling
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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allovertheplace wrote: |
this is an interesting topic.
Ive seen both sides of this. My advice, if a korean coworker says something disrespectful about you, just stare at them. Stare at them until they tip their head down and it will be a blatant disrespect to them. There are some things that cross cultural boundaries. One of them is talking about someone in a language they dont understand in front of them. The coworker that wont tell you is not being a dick because we must understand, he might be there longer than you and once you leave he will have to work with the disrespectful ones.
A little hint, if it really starts to piss you off, turn to a coworker and say" I understand more than they think". Say it loud enough to get everyones attention.
On the topic of understanding more korean being bad, I kinda agree. While it makes day to day life better, it makes work much worse. Kids will say the dirtiest stuff and it puts the teacher in an odd position. Again, I would tell the kid, i understand more than you think. That one phrase helped me out a lot. |
Sorry I neglected to tell you that I teach the co-workers kids each week for an hour free of charge. I think I'll stop doing that now should he choose to sit on the fence. I obviously wouldnt make a scene if I knew some teacher was insulting me. However I'd like to know exactly what is being said. |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:59 am Post subject: |
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E-athlete if I knew for a fact someone was insulting me, I'd stare them down hard at first. and if that didn't work.. I would mosey up to them (grabbing an English speaker along the way) and say.
so... what do you want to tell me.
with a fairly challenging look.
I'd bet my house (and I do have a house) that every single one of those [Mod Edit for swearing] would back down, and slither away.
I'd almost like for it to happen... I would enjoy that.
Unfortunately (for my wish) I am on very good terms with the dept heads and the VP so someone insulting me like that publicly would be career suicide.
p.s. how do you know for sure you're being insulted?
Last edited by Epicurus on Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:36 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:01 am Post subject: |
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tzechuk wrote: |
Nope. Why should I? |
well, everyone wants to be liked and more importantly respected, don't you think? |
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