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pusky
Joined: 03 Jun 2009
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 Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| the boy next door wrote: |
| toadhjo wrote: |
| ...I wish Michael Jackson was still alive. |
He is still alive and bum-blasting you everyday! 
i wish it would rain Dr. Pepper every Korean monsoon season...  |
It will rain Dr. Pepper during monsoon season but you will lose your job because the country will collapse from all machinery breaking down from sticky soda syrup. You will lose your job and have to hike overland for hundreds of miles to find an airport not mired in dried dr. pepper remnants.
I wish I could author the next great American novel. |
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Privateer
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:05 am Post subject: |
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| I wish I could author the next great American novel. |
You spend the next 15 years living in squalor in Cambodia working on your masterpiece. Unfortunately, you die of hepatitis shortly after finishing it. The police come and remove your body, and they throw all your possessions, including all your notes, in the trash. Your computer and USB drive, with the novel saved on both of them, are sold to a local kid who doesn't speak English, and wipes them clean in order to install games.
I wish I could speak perfect Korean. |
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the boy next door
Joined: 08 Jun 2008
Location: next door
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:18 am Post subject: |
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you can speak perfect Korean after forgetting all your English skills but Korea adopts an English only official language law after the North tries to invade but is sent packin' by the most superior American military. the South Koreans are so overjoyed that they decide their mother tongue is the root of their national problems and that English only is the sheer path to a prosperous, healthy future. you're tortured for being a spy and violently raped by Korean fudge-packers for not being able to speak English.
i wish i was the handsome ass romeo who boned the Virgin Mary, knocked Her up and is the handsome ass Father of Jesus Christ |
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Underwaterbob
Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| the boy next door wrote: |
| i wish i was the handsome ass romeo who boned the Virgin Mary, knocked Her up and is the handsome ass Father of Jesus Christ |
Congratulations, you died 2000 years ago at the ripe old age of 28.
I wish I didn't have to go to this conference thing that is going to take up the entirety of today and tomorrow. |
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the boy next door
Joined: 08 Jun 2008
Location: next door
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| Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| Underwaterbob wrote: |
I wish I didn't have to go to this conference thing that is going to take up the entirety of today and tomorrow. |
you don't. it has been postponed and rescheduled to saturday and sunday morning.
i wish the Montreal Expos were still a MLB team.  |
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TheFonz
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Location: North Georgia
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| Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:32 am Post subject: |
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| the boy next door wrote: |
| Underwaterbob wrote: |
I wish I didn't have to go to this conference thing that is going to take up the entirety of today and tomorrow. |
you don't. it has been postponed and rescheduled to saturday and sunday morning.
i wish the Montreal Expos were still a MLB team. |
The Expos are an mlb team, but they are in the AL east. Filled with nostalgia the new owner decides to sign on the 1989 roster. The old has beens insure the worst record in baseball which causes the franchise to go bankrupt.
I wish I could jump a pool full of sharks in water skies. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| TheFonz wrote: |
I wish I could jump a pool full of sharks in water skies. |
Somehow, after travelling the whole world three times over, you finally manage to come across a pool, full of sharks that are for some reason wearing water skies. You wait 'till dark, don a ski mask and a black track suit, sneek up behind a nice shark couple chatting about the fabulous waterskiing date they just had, and jump the boyfriend shark. The shark girlfriend screams in terror on the sidelines as you pummel the poor boy shark sensless. Of course, this pool is full of sharks, and while they are all encumbered with water skis and therefore unable to come to the couple's aid, at least three quick thinking sharks take out their cell phones and call the proper authorities. You are jailed for animal cruelty for the rest of your adult life.
I wish I could do backflips. |
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| TheFonz wrote: |
I wish I could jump a pool full of sharks in water skies. |
Somehow, after travelling the whole world three times over, you finally manage to come across a pool, full of sharks that are for some reason wearing water skies. You wait 'till dark, don a ski mask and a black track suit, sneek up behind a nice shark couple chatting about the fabulous waterskiing date they just had, and jump the boyfriend shark. The shark girlfriend screams in terror on the sidelines as you pummel the poor boy shark sensless. Of course, this pool is full of sharks, and while they are all encumbered with water skis and therefore unable to come to the couple's aid, at least three quick thinking sharks take out their cell phones and call the proper authorities. You are jailed for animal cruelty for the rest of your adult life.
I wish I could do backflips. |
That is one of the best responses I've heard.
To keep the thread going: you can do backflips, but only backflips. You can no longer walk forward and you have much difficulty seeing where you are going, thus running into hundreds of people, scooters, street signs, etc. everyday. One day you accidentally start to tumble through the crosswalk a little too soon and are obliterated by a bus rushing to beat the stoplight.
I wish I had a motorcycle |
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cwflaneur
Joined: 04 Aug 2009
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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| cwflaneur wrote: |
| I wish I could drink sunshine. |
Those golden rays suddenly become liquified. As you start to drink them you remember they are 5500 degrees Celsius. The first drop slides down your throat melting away everything in its path until it reaches your stomach where it causes you to combust.
I wish I could go back to school. |
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Privateer
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.
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| Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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^ You are sent back to school for remedial education, beginning right at the beginning in the first year of primary school. You are forced to stay for 12 more years up until high school, terminally bored, laughed at by classmates and teachers alike, with zero earnings, a freak.
I wish I won over a million pounds worth of Korean Won on the Lottery tomorrow. |
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:05 am Post subject: |
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^^^ Congratulations! You won a million pounds worth of Korean Won in the lottery. Unfortunately, North Korea just nuked Seoul, thus rendering the Korean Won a worthless piece of colorful paper. Have fun using the rough bills to wipe.
I wish I could get into shape without having to exercise. |
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CutebutPsycho
Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Location: BFE
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| Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:21 am Post subject: |
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| asams wrote: |
I wish I could get into shape without having to exercise. |
You wake up in the morning with the body you've always wanted. The down side is that every time you eat, you are in the bathroom approximately 30 minutes later for nearly an hour at a time.
I wish I were the smartest person on earth. |
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samcheokguy
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Location: Samcheok G-do
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| Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:28 am Post subject: |
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| CutebutPsycho wrote: |
I wish I were the smartest person on earth. |
You are no longer able to stand small talk , as 99.99% of human speach bores you to tears. In an emo rage you throw yourself off of your ivory tower.
I wish I had herpes. |
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CutebutPsycho
Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Location: BFE
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| Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:33 am Post subject: |
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You wake up with the herp as well as every other known STD including the ones that only affect animals. No one wants to touch you even with a ten foot pole, except for Paris Hilton who can only exclaim, "That's Hot!"
I wish I had the guitar skills of all the greats. |
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