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iggyb
Joined: 29 Oct 2003
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 Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:26 am Post subject: |
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I think I already mentioned the "death line" for marriage with women when they turn from 29 to 30...
I also noticed being even a year older than the male was a big deal too.
I heard about 1 couple here or there getting married with the woman being older, but I clearly remember adult students talking about how that "isn't done." And over the nearly 2 years I taught adults, with new students coming and going each month, there were a small number of attractive women in the younger 30s who were unmarried looking for a man -- and plenty of men in their late 20s looking for a woman - all with marriage on the minds --- and the 20 something males wouldn't even consider the slightly older females -- despite the fact they were pretty... |
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andrewchon
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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| In Korea, husband is supposed to be MAN of the house, if one couples that with 'have to respect age' factor of older wife, then who is supposed to be the MAN becomes confusing. The husband also cannot escape the gong-cheo-ga (cuckhold) tag. One can always marry for love but it invites ridicule from neighbours. |
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daddy daycare
Joined: 15 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:58 pm Post subject: newbie |
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| Typical K---- viewpoint from Mr Chon..... |
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Hank the Iconoclast
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: Busan
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| 25 years old and have two years experience at a public school in Korea and working on my MA. Most graduate from uni when they are 22, unless they are seriously slacking. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:16 am Post subject: |
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35 year old average joe, 5 years experience, good references
vs.
25 year old attractive blonde dude, just graduated, no experience
Lets say out of 10 hagkwons, how many would go for the looks, how many go for the experience???
what's your opinion/experience? |
Depends on the type of Hakwon. |
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buildbyflying
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: To your right. No, your other right.
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:16 am Post subject: |
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Truth is cultures and religions worldwide have tried to make "the man" a man by subordianting women, and I hate to say it -- times they are a changin.
A man becomes a far bigger cuckold when he discovers he never really got what love is. It's blind and it just might be older, of a different race, or god-forbid a more powerful woman.
A man is only a man when he's NBL and TCB. (a natural born lover and takes care of business) |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:17 am Post subject: |
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| buildbyflying wrote: |
Truth is cultures and religions worldwide have tried to make "the man" a man by subordianting women, and I hate to say it -- times they are a changin.
A man becomes a far bigger cuckold when he discovers he never really got what love is. It's blind and it just might be older, of a different race, or god-forbid a more powerful woman.
A man is only a man when he's NBL and TCB. (a natural born lover and takes care of business) |
no such thing as a NBL (where the hell did that phrase come from?)
those are skills that are learned, honed and refined. (and most effectively so when not drunk, which is why fratboy escapades count for little)
another reason why a guy in this 30's is in his prime and even 40 somethings who put a lot of effort into taking care of themselves can still score (with significantly younger women) |
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Princess Soraya
Joined: 30 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:58 am Post subject: |
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A 24 year old Korean male student I often saw around campus came and chatted to me one afternoon (very unusual). On discovering that I was a lecturer and a few years older (he mistook me for a student his age, something that happens pretty often btw), I have been avoided like the plague ever since 
Same thing happened with a Chinese guy who was no older than 20. It was really funny because he was trying to chat me up. He asked me what I was studying and when I revealed my true identity, he started giggling uncontrollably, bowed 10 million times and said "sorry" repeatedly as he ran off into the sunset...  |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:30 am Post subject: |
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| Princess Soraya wrote: |
A 24 year old Korean male student I often saw around campus came and chatted to me one afternoon (very unusual). On discovering that I was a lecturer and a few years older (he mistook me for a student his age, something that happens pretty often btw), I have been avoided like the plague ever since
Same thing happened with a Chinese guy who was no older than 20. It was really funny because he was trying to chat me up. He asked me what I was studying and when I revealed my true identity, he started giggling uncontrollably, bowed 10 million times and said "sorry" repeatedly as he ran off into the sunset... |
your status as a teacher vs student is definitely a factor here, I'd surmise.
but beyond that, the silly Korean obsession with age and utter inflexibility when it comes to any meaningful interaction with someone 5 years outside of your age group is yet another aspect of "Korean culture" which I'll never understand, and frankly have little interest in understanding.
It's just assinine.
feel free to chime in here btw:
http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=164271 |
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Princess Soraya
Joined: 30 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:12 am Post subject: |
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Hm yes, I never tell Koreans that my ex-boyfriend is now 56 (scandalous even in liberal society) and old enough to be my father.  I would be a complete social outcast!!! |
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buildbyflying
Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: To your right. No, your other right.
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| no such thing as a NBL (where the hell did that phrase come from?) |
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. I agree that it's learned trait but it sounds better the way she says it. |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Princess Soraya wrote: |
| Hm yes, I never tell Koreans that my ex-boyfriend is now 56 (scandalous even in liberal society) and old enough to be my father. I would be a complete social outcast!!! |
this is good news, I always thought 50 was a good time to starting thinking about jumping off a cliff.
the one thing I NEVER worry about in Korea is being a "social outcast".
Not only does my 100% pure NON Korean blood guarantee this, but even if I weren't automatically excluded, the real question becomes why the hell would I WANT to be included??
to participate in many of their cultural norms which I consider assinine and ridiculous? (inability to mingle 5 yrs outside of age group is merely one that I mentioned)
a teacher recently got married in my ps. (and yes it was a "race" to the altar before she hit 30, she was 29 when I met her last year and she went thru at least 2 bf's in the past year). She already looks much more serious, pale and conservative than before. It's a tragedy. Her co-female coworkers went on a 2 day trip down south with a couple of the younger male teachers at school. They showed me pictures, it seemed like a nice fairly innocuous and innocent time.
These are (were) her good friends. I asked her - (knowing the answer in advance). Mrs. Kim why didn't you go on the trip with Ms. Lee and the others?
"I'm married".
Great. Enjoy your life in Korean cultural prison then.  |
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Princess Soraya
Joined: 30 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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Epicurus said:
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this is good news, I always thought 50 was a good time to starting thinking about jumping off a cliff.
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Jumping off a cliff is not necessary with deviants like me around! In fact, I find my 70 year old landlord rather fetching . Before the 50 something guy however, I was crazy about a 17 year old (7years my junior at the time). We were together for 2 years and he's still my best friend. I reckon as long as someone's not at school or married, they're fair game. |
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Epicurus
Joined: 18 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Princess Soraya wrote: |
Epicurus said:
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this is good news, I always thought 50 was a good time to starting thinking about jumping off a cliff.
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Jumping off a cliff is not necessary with deviants like me around! In fact, I find my 70 year old landlord rather fetching . Before the 50 something guy however, I was crazy about a 17 year old (7years my junior at the time). We were together for 2 years and he's still my best friend. I reckon as long as someone's not at school or married, they're fair game. |
I like you already, feel free to PM me 
I actually make it a point to say stuff to freak out my Korean coworkers and rattle their cultural prisons.
Things like - yes I hooked up with a girl during my trip back statedide (they call this having a gf) and she was 10 plus years my junior.
Big bugged out eyes. Then I tell them when I was out of college I saw several women in their 30's one in her latter thirties. Bigger eyes all th way around.
Then I tell them rice has little nutritional value and they need more protein in their diet. Big eyes.
But I don't say this with a sneer or in any accusing tone, I do it "matter of factly", in the way a Korean will understand - like when they tell a fat Westerner - "you're fat".
from what I'm told they still all like me... so.... |
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Princess Soraya
Joined: 30 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| Well, I've abandoned (publicly) my wanton ways and comments as they have lost me too many friends. It also helps that I am married. Sometimes happily. |
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