Korean Job Discussion Forums

[flarestar]

I'm having a casual conversation with a couple of my students during lunch break. A Korean teacher walks by me and starts talking to my co-teacher. One of my students told me that the K-teacher said "my face is too big" to my co-teacher. I was pretty shocked.

"I think that's pretty rude to insult me like that right in front of me".

To which my student replies, "You don't understand it, so it okay."

"so if I don't understand it, it's okay?"

"yes"






Is this an isolated incident or is it more common than I think. This wasn't the first time either. In the lunch hall I hear teachers talk about me. Either that or they are talking about some other "waygooksaram" because I'm the only foreign teacher at my school.

[Ilsanman]

Tell her she's a dirty MOD EDIT who was to be sold to the Japanese but they wouldn't give her 10 yen for her.

Make sure to say it really fast so she can't understand you.

Problem solved.

[warren pease]

Relax. Who cares.

There are rude people all over the world. And everyone (you included) talk about people behind their backs or when you don't think they can hear (understand) you.

First show me a culture where talking shit isn't going on and then you can ask if talking shit on big faced waygooks is part of Korean culture.

[Sooke]

Yes it is rude. Yes it is their culture.

In their eyes, you are little better than a dog. When they make comments about you, it would be akin to making a comment about a dog. The dog doesn't reply, it just looks at the commenter/insulter with it's stupid dog eyes. Just like you (us.) You will be treated like this by the vast majority of Koreans (Like 80-90%.) The more Korean you learn, the more you notice it.

The best revenge is a life well lived. You're getting decent money (even more decent if/when you work off hours) and have the option to leave Korea for any other country your heart desires. Most Koreans do not have this option. Live a better life than them. That pisses them off the most. Good luck.

[flarestar]

I'm not sure what bothers me more right now, the fact that people openly talk about me in front of me knowing I cannot understand them or the fact that everyone else is complicit in it. Nobody would ever tell me what people are saying about me even when I asked about it. My co-teacher just keeps his lips tight too. If it wasn't for that random student telling me I would never know about being insulted. This brings me to my next point - am I better off not knowing the Korean language?

And to those that say to me to not care, well, I honesty have tried that. But it seems that this is a recurring theme. It keeps happening to me whether im at school or outdoors. I having a hard time not letting it get to me to be honest.

I also think there is a big difference between insulting a person in secret and openly insulting a person that doesn't understand you in front of a large group of people. There's a lot more damage being done in the latter especially because you cannot even defend yourself.

[Sooke]

I tend to wear an MP3 most times on the subway or bus and even walking around. That way, you cannot hear what they may be (OK, are) saying. I also wear very dark sunglasses which make it hard to see my eyes. When they stare at me with the stink eye I stare right back. Sometimes when they are staring for a ridiculously long time I pop down my sunglasses so they can see my baby blues.

When I was first learning the language and I noticed people talking about me I would say things like "I understand what you are saying" or "That's a little rude" as respectfully as I knew how, but 9 times out of 10 that would get me in more trouble. Sometimes it even ended in pushing or fisticuffs. I was younger and c0ckier back then and had a harder time backing away from a fight. Age has mellowed me out somewhat, and I am better able to ignore it.

Learn the language, but don't really throw it in their face. It's just not worth it. Live a better life than them. And my favourite thing to do once you learn the language: Chastise them for being rude in your home country (ie: talking loudly, swearing, pushing or other rude behaviour.) I pulled it out a few times back home and it was priceless. Especially saying things along the lines of "you're a proud example of your country, etc." The good thing about doing it back home, is that if they have the cajones to throw a punch at you, you can throw back and claim self defence. Here not so much. Every fight/argument you get into you will be the loser. And others will jump in. But that is another story

[red_devil]

It's a cultural thing, and it's not the worst insult in the world. It's like a group of guys commenting offhand on a girl walking by saying "she's not hot" or "she's got small boobs". Distasteful, immature...but hardly saying F-U to your face.

[Shauneyz]

Wow this thread is just a complete understanding of Korean culture

[flarestar]

I have a feeling Korean students themselves know that the whole thing is not very nice when I asked them to imagine how they would like it if the situation was reversed and they were in foreign land.

When I made them think critically about issues they start changing their opinions. It seems to me that the kids at my school are smart and can memorize and regurgitate information but it comes to critical thinking they seem to be completely unchallenged by their teachers. It's the same back where I come from.

[pie eater]

You have to call them out on it and they will shit themselves - Koreans who partake in this behaviour are the biggest cowards on the planet - a lot of the morons are in the public school sector I am afraid but I promise you this - you pull them up on it and they will be all apologies 'sorry sorry' Sorry means nothing to a Korean - it is just a word to say to whitey to shut them up - but it also stops their childish behaviour.

I know it isn't much in the way of consolation but most of us working in the PS system have had this kind of crap thrown at us. I know I have - and when it happened to me - I went absolutley mental! Which stopped the open disrespect to my face but it carried on behind my back. You may win the battles but you won't win the war...

[warren pease]

The horror, the horror.

You poor people, being talked about behind your backs. How do you manage?

There's got to be a little violin playing somewhere around here.

Grow up. It's not a Korean thing, you sissies.

[pie eater]

[thoreau]

Do you have a big face?

[Joe666]

thoreau wrote:

[Adventurer]

I am not sure what to say, but there are cultural differences. For example, in the US you cannot call another adult fat. However, don't get too worked about this. Just brush it off. If you want, and it becomes an issue let the other person know that this is considered backward way to talk in your home country and can make people from most nations uncomfortable.

If you feel this is issue, a way she can understand how this culturally is a faux pas, then do so. Do so, without getting upset.