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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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 Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not being overly sensitive, merely rational. (how long until this gets misconstrued and me accused of saying 'women aren't rational...")
I admit I was somewhat personally insulting. Whoops, soz. I've spent too much time on here in the last 2 days and feel that my intelligence and maturity levels have declined by about 40% because of it. I am actually meeting some real (not cyber) foriegners tonight for the first time in over a week, so that should get me back to 'normal.' |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
I'm not being overly sensitive, merely rational. (how long until this gets misconstrued and me accused of saying 'women aren't rational...")
I admit I was somewhat personally insulting. Whoops, soz. I've spent too much time on here in the last 2 days and feel that my intelligence and maturity levels have declined by about 40% because of it. I am actually meeting some real (not cyber) foriegners tonight for the first time in over a week, so that should get me back to 'normal.' |
You're the one who's misconstruing, bud. No one is attacking men. No one is making generalizations about men. People (both male and female) are jumping on benji for being a turd. I think you may have mistaken the note I attached (which was meant for benji) in a response to you as me addressing you, perhaps? Maybe that's where the trouble started. I'm not sure.
Anyway, to summarize: benji's a tosser and xingface loves it. It's nothing to do with men, it's nothing to do with using dating websites, and it's nothing to do with you. Don't worry about it. |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Well said, Picasso. |
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Reise-ohne-Ende
Joined: 07 Sep 2009
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Sharing literature isn't the worst fetish I can imagine. |
Certainly not.  Bibliophiles yay!
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| Definitely not an either or. I was reading Gossip Girl and Adam Smith at the same time. Although I have to admit I finished the Gossip Girl book first. |
OK actually that's kind of hot.
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| I really am not a mysogonist / anti feminist or anyhting like that. |
I do believe you on that. I think the issue is not that you are consciously sexist, but that things like that tend to creep into our everyday opinions and conversations without us completely being aware of it. I make a conscious effort not to say things that are (or act in a way that is) racist or sizeist, but I know that it creeps in every once in a while. And I am still working hard on not being classist...I would actually say that I am kind of a classist person, which is horrible, and is something I want to change.
So yeah, the point is...I'm not condemning you (or anyone else, for that matter), just the words and concepts you use that do have a sexist component to them. We all have things to improve on in that arena. It goes back to the whole privilege thing: you don't have to think about what it means to be a woman every day, like I do. And I don't have to think about what it means to be really fat or really skinny or black or poor on a daily basis, so I have subconscious prejudices re: those things that I need to work out.
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Not facetious, insulting or suggesting that men in the thread think the world revolves around them? Not suggestive that we shouldn't really be involved in the thread....?
Be honest. |
Being completely honest: I like boys. I like talking to boys. I like flirting and having sex and having platonic relationships and intellectual discussions with them. I am definitely not a man-hater. So no, I do not think all men (in or outside of this thread) think the world revolves around them. But society does, generally, think the world revolves around men, and I can't with good conscience let statements that perpetuate that stereotype go unchecked.
And I want men to be involved in this thread! Especially ones who can give advice and tips for women foreigners dating in Korea.
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| No offense, but you're embarrassing yourselves if you don't see my point. |
Generally people have the right to disagree with one another without getting their egos degraded. Just saying.
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| So, you know, shoot me a message when you get here! I won't make you lie about where we met.... |
Lol! I will I will.
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| again, no one is calling you or implying that you are a misogynist. |
To be fair, I did kind of imply that he was sexist. Hopefully I've clarified that better now. |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Reise-ohne-Ende wrote: |
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| again, no one is calling you or implying that you are a misogynist. |
To be fair, I did kind of imply that he was sexist. Hopefully I've clarified that better now. |
I must have missed that.
To me, the only place he really stepped out and made a faux pas was when he suddenly threw out "feminist!", right along side "defensive" and "burned recently". That's so tired, I don't even know what to say to it anymore. Hopefully, he knows that. |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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Not facetious, insulting or suggesting that men in the thread think the world revolves around them? Not suggestive that we shouldn't really be involved in the thread....?
Be honest.
I was asking - doesn't the quote
Also, just to reiterate one more time, for the slow kids in the back, this thread is not about what men want.
Come accross as facetious and sugestive that men shouldn't be involved in the thread. Quite clearly one could be more than a little forgiven for interpreting it that way (seeing as that's exactly how it comes accross...) I wrote this in colours because once a post has a few quotes in it I get kind of lost with how to make it you, know come out right. anyway, moving back to online dating.....
Being completely honest: I like boys. I like talking to boys. I like flirting and having sex and having platonic relationships and intellectual discussions with them. I am definitely not a man-hater. So no, I do not think all men (in or outside of this thread) think the world revolves around them. But society does, generally, think the world revolves around men, and I can't with good conscience let statements that perpetuate that stereotype go unchecked.
And I want men to be involved in this thread! Especially ones who can give advice and tips for women foreigners dating in Korea. |
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kabrams
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Location: your Dad's house
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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No, she's okay. You're describing Kabrahms (sp?) to a tee though. |
Can't keep my name out of your mouth, can you?
Get over it.
Yet another thread about Western women gets turned into "we're all feminist man-haters". LOL. |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Nothing to get over. Moving on.... |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
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Not facetious, insulting or suggesting that men in the thread think the world revolves around them? Not suggestive that we shouldn't really be involved in the thread....?
Be honest.
I was asking - doesn't the quote
Also, just to reiterate one more time, for the slow kids in the back, this thread is not about what men want.
Come accross as facetious and sugestive that men shouldn't be involved in the thread. Quite clearly one could be more than a little forgiven for interpreting it that way (seeing as that's exactly how it comes accross...) I wrote this in colours because once a post has a few quotes in it I get kind of lost with how to make it you, know come out right. anyway, moving back to online dating.....
Being completely honest: I like boys. I like talking to boys. I like flirting and having sex and having platonic relationships and intellectual discussions with them. I am definitely not a man-hater. So no, I do not think all men (in or outside of this thread) think the world revolves around them. But society does, generally, think the world revolves around men, and I can't with good conscience let statements that perpetuate that stereotype go unchecked.
And I want men to be involved in this thread! Especially ones who can give advice and tips for women foreigners dating in Korea. |
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Unless you assume "the slow kids in the back" is the equivalent of "men", then I'm not really sure where you're getting that from. Being that I am not a rabid man hater, "the slow kids in the back" does not refer to "men". You ARE being overly sensitive to assume that it does.
Now I don't even have to reference the male gender to be told that I'm slagging men off. Apparently anything I say about anyone can be assumed to be about men and then freaked out about. Fantastic.
As for men not being allowed to participate in the thread... look. I think you're a nice enough guy, but you're really exhausting me here. If I didn't want men in this thread, why would I have responded quite pleasantly to dozens of posts in this thread from men that came before benji's chin dribble? You're really working hard, at this point, to make an issue out of nothing. |
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kabrams
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Location: your Dad's house
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP wrote: |
| Nothing to get over. Moving on.... |
Then stop mentioning me in passive aggressive pot-shots then.
Moving on...
ETA: You know what? Never mind, forget it. I don't have the energy, hahaha. Carry on, man. Carry on.
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peppermint
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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There are a million and three threads on here about what "men" want women to be like in a relationship. I say "men" because I've yet to meet a man offline who'd admit to wanting an actual relationship with a blow up doll with a pulse, of the sort benji describes. ( A one night stand, maybe, but never so much as breakfast afterwards)
Is it so wrong that this thread is more about what women want men to be like in a relationship? |
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I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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Wait... is he trying to make the argument that we shouldn't object to this thread being turned into "women shouldn't read literature but should read Cosmo and here's how to please a man!"....???
Because if that's what is at the heart of the issue of this little argument, then that's a whole other ballgame.
Sorry. benji can post that drivel if he wants. But he's getting exactly what he deserves in response.
Anyway. We shouldn't stay sidetracked by this. So far, this has been a really great (and I think much needed) thread. We can probably continue to expect the occasional bitter interjection from someone who's upset that this thread doesn't center around him (or her  ) and what he (or she ) expects out of a world designed around him (or her ), and who can't accept the fact that relationships are two-sided, and women have expectations as well. But. Onwards and upwards. |
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DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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| peppermint wrote: |
There are a million and three threads on here about what "men" want women to be like in a relationship. I say "men" because I've yet to meet a man offline who'd admit to wanting an actual relationship with a blow up doll with a pulse, of the sort benji describes. ( A one night stand, maybe, but never so much as breakfast afterwards)
Is it so wrong that this thread is more about what women want men to be like in a relationship? |
No that's fine, why shouldn't it be. I daresay that would be some interesting and amusing reading for both men and women alike.
I'll bet a lot of us think we know what we want in a partner and end up getting something different or even all together different and finding out that that' what we like...
Would've been a lot clearer had the slow kids at the back actually been addressed to binji directly imo tho. Anyway, not one person has backed him up yet, so that's interesting. |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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Well, why don't we start our own? I have been lurking in the weeds for months, but I will be in Korea in a few weeks....I would feel weird about starting a thread about foreign women in Korea, at this stage.
But maybe with Picasso, R.o.E, and kabrams, we ladies will feel a bit more whippy....not that you gals need ANY help......
Hoping to hear from you,
Sarah |
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sarahsiobhan
Joined: 24 May 2009
Location: Wherever I am , I am probably drinking tea.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| ..um...actually..nevermind...I will probably get yelled at for suggesting it, as it seems to be topic......sorry. *ducks and runs away* |
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