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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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 Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:40 am Post subject: Lack of Parenting Skills |
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I just need to vent a little about a situation that arose today re: Korean parents and their children.
I have a student, Alex, who I have taught for 9 months, that will not be quiet in class. He is constantly banging on his desk, singing aloud in class, and doing anything else he can to make noise while other people, myself included, are talking. I tell him to be quiet and he still makes noise and everyday I have to send him out of the class because he is so disruptive it starts to annoy the other children. He isn't the only problem child in that class but he is far worse than any of the others. He is extremely disrespectful and even when I send him out of class he bangs on the windows and stares in and does anything to get attention.
Today I told the head teacher that I refuse to teach him anymore and her solution was to call in his mom. Fine. My co-teacher talked to his mother tonight and was told that Alex was taken to a psychologist/psychiatrist (she wasn't really sure which one) for analysis and they Dr. told her that he was lashing out because he wasn't getting enough love from his parents. The parents got him on medicine but apparently the father took him off of it because he said it was ruining Alex's dreams (WTF?). Anyway, the mother's solution was to ignore him. 
I told my co-teacher that his mother needs to take a parenting class and she needs to take him out of all these hagwons she has him in and just spend time with him. Some parents are absolutely unfit. My mother is a social worker and I hear stories like this from home also and it makes you wonder whether there should be tests to determine whether a person is fit to be a parent.
What would you do?
Last edited by asams on Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:22 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:43 am Post subject: |
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| Your title seems off. |
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:46 am Post subject: |
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You are appeased.
Last edited by asams on Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:23 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:48 am Post subject: |
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| asams wrote: |
| What, then, would you suggest as an alternative? |
Possibly 'Lack of Parenting skills'?
I'm just not so sure that your title matches your OP. The OP is about some oddity with a child (and his parents), but your title somehow ascribes it to Korean parenting culture.
Is that what you intended? |
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asams
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:54 am Post subject: |
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| Captain Corea wrote: |
| asams wrote: |
| What, then, would you suggest as an alternative? |
Possibly 'Lack of Parenting skills'?
I'm just not so sure that your title matches your OP. The OP is about some oddity with a child (and his parents), but your title somehow ascribes it to Korean parenting culture.
Is that what you intended? |
Well, it certainly seems to be a more common theme in Korea than back home. It seems to me that not many Korean fathers are as involved with their children because they work so much. Don't a lot of mothers stay at home during the day though? Then the problem becomes that the mothers are using hagwons as a glorified daycare. I realize that there is a lot of pressure to keep up, but their child's mental and social health should be of more concern than their ability to speak a foreign language which they probably won't use after they finish university. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:02 am Post subject: |
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So, to you your OP is an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof)?
Do you think that it is common in Korea? Is it something you've encountered before? Is it different than parenting in other countries? What makes it an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof) specifically?
Honestly man, the OP sounds like a bit of a jumble of assorted issues - most of which can easily be ascribed to the one family. How is this at all representative of Korean parenting? |
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storysinger81
Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:03 am Post subject: |
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But Korean mothers love their children more than any other mothers in the world.
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Savant
Joined: 25 May 2007
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:04 am Post subject: |
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| asams wrote: |
| Captain Corea wrote: |
| asams wrote: |
| What, then, would you suggest as an alternative? |
Possibly 'Lack of Parenting skills'?
I'm just not so sure that your title matches your OP. The OP is about some oddity with a child (and his parents), but your title somehow ascribes it to Korean parenting culture.
Is that what you intended? |
Don't a lot of mothers stay at home during the day though? |
I thought that they spend their days at Department Stores checking out their next luxury item to buy with husband's money. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:10 am Post subject: |
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| asams wrote: |
Well, it certainly seems to be a more common theme in Korea than back home. |
Seriously, asams, Are you serious? From the land that brought us the 50% divorce rate (though Korea is catching up), Ritalin, and Metal Detectors in Schools??? Seriously dude? A land where 30 is the new 20 in all the wrong ways.
I mean Korean parents overwork their kids and I think they also can be a bit too demanding, and there are plenty of bad bones out there, but I don't see any difference in rates of problem kids between here and back home. |
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freshking
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:20 am Post subject: |
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| I'm with the Captain on this one. The title to your thread is a good attention grabber, but it doesn't fit your thread at all. I understand your pain, but don't paint everyone with the same brush. Broad generalizations are for Fox News. |
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ESL Milk "Everyday
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:40 am Post subject: |
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Whatever the title of your thread is, your situation sounds miserable... if the kid isn't getting 'love', and the mom doesn't want to do anything about it, then it's your problem and there's no solution.
But maybe you could grab him (no-- get one of the other kids to grab him, because you'd be called a pedophile) while repeating 'it's not your fault' over and over... or, alternatively, buy him a big bag of candy every day so he'll eat that instead of being such a little @#$%. Your boss will love that!
Or you could make him some tea with some sleeping pills in it... you can get those pretty easily here!
Good luck! |
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Goon-Yang
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Duh
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:27 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Captain Corea"]So, to you your OP is an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof)?[quote]
Yep
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Do you think that it is common in Korea? Is it something you've encountered before? Is it different than parenting in other countries? What makes it an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof) specifically? |
Let's see...
1) Parents putting their kids in school from dawn til dusk.
2) Parent's pawning heir kids off to useless pre-schools instead of taking care of them theirselves.
3) Parents having kids and forcing their parent's to look after them.
4) Lack of car seats I even saw one retarded mom with a newborn in her arms at the health centre today. She was driving.
5) So many kids running around without proper supervision (hell even my wife wanted to leave our two year olds with two 10 year olds).
I know you're an appoligist and a mod, but Koreans suck as parents.
| Quote: |
Honestly man, the OP sounds like a bit of a jumble of assorted issues - most of which can easily be ascribed to the one family. How is this at all representative of Korean parenting? |
Yep, but the same crap happens to all of us and it drives us all nuts. "baby seats cause harm to children" I've heard that a few times...lol. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Goon-Yang wrote: |
| Captain Corea wrote: |
| So, to you your OP is an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof)? |
Yep
| Quote: |
Do you think that it is common in Korea? Is it something you've encountered before? Is it different than parenting in other countries? What makes it an example of Korean Parenting (or lack thereof) specifically? |
Let's see...
1) Parents putting their kids in school from dawn til dusk.
2) Parent's pawning heir kids off to useless pre-schools instead of taking care of them theirselves.
3) Parents having kids and forcing their parent's to look after them.
4) Lack of car seats I even saw one retarded mom with a newborn in her arms at the health centre today. She was driving.
5) So many kids running around without proper supervision (hell even my wife wanted to leave our two year olds with two 10 year olds).
I know you're an appoligist and a mod, but Koreans suck as parents.
| Quote: |
Honestly man, the OP sounds like a bit of a jumble of assorted issues - most of which can easily be ascribed to the one family. How is this at all representative of Korean parenting? |
Yep, but the same crap happens to all of us and it drives us all nuts. "baby seats cause harm to children" I've heard that a few times...lol. |
1. what does your ramble have to do with the issues of the OP?
2. I am not, nor have I ever been, a mod. |
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Street Magic
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:22 pm Post subject: Re: Lack of Parenting Skills |
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| asams wrote: |
| The parents got him on medicine but apparently the father took him off of it because he said it was ruining Alex's dreams (WTF?). |
Many psychiatric drugs cause bizarre, vivid, and disturbing dreams as a side effect. This probably seems like a minor issue to you because you've never been forced to experience it. Consider that antipsychotics (which are often used off label for childhood problems like ADD nowadays) are discontinued by a huge portion of the mentally ill population. Many would rather deal with flagrant psychosis than the psychological and physical side effects of regimented psychotropic pharmaceutical druggings. I'm not a scientologist by the way (I hate them so much for making reasonable criticisms of the biopsychiatry paradigm seem like a fringe issue). |
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Joe666
Joined: 19 Nov 2008
Location: Jesus it's hot down here!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Bottom line - Any two monkies can get together and procreate. There are no rules when it comes to procreation. How could the human primate moiety govern it? |
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