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joyfulgirl
Joined: 05 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:27 am Post subject: open relationships |
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i am curious about people's opinions on open relationships.
how many of you are in one? if you're not, would you like to be? or do you think they're emotionally unhealthy?
is it more evolved to let jealousy go and just love freely.
or is there something to be said for committing to one person completely?
are we pressured by society to seek one partner and then be faithful?
can we be ethical sluts? |
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ciccone_youth
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:41 am Post subject: |
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i've never done that, and would not want to. i think it could be fun for the first bit, but then i'd get unhappy.
i know people who have done it, and it worked out nicely. it all depends. |
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asylum seeker
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Location: On your computer screen.
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:04 am Post subject: |
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| I think many people would be happier in open relationships and that it's the social stigma that holds them back. It goes against many people's basic nature to commit to only one sexual partner for life. I'm planning to get married but I'm very worried about my own ability to be faithful and I'd rather be out in the open about it. I broached the subjest with my GF but she nixed it right away and now I'm starting to have doubts about the marriage. |
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ciccone_youth
Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Location: Japan
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:08 am Post subject: |
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| asylum seeker wrote: |
| I think many people would be happier in open relationships and that it's the social stigma that holds them back. It goes against many people's basic nature to commit to only one sexual partner for life. I'm planning to get married but I'm very worried about my own ability to be faithful and I'd rather be out in the open about it. I broached the subjest with my GF but she nixed it right away and now I'm starting to have doubts about the marriage. |
wouldn't it be hurtful to imagine your girlfriend/wife sleeping with another man?
i understand you'd rather be in an open relationship than have to cheat, which i respect, but at the same time, i would be too painful for me to picture my bf with someone else. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:13 am Post subject: |
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No, I don't think it would work.
I used to know a couple who were in an open relationship, but it didnt last long.
I watched a documentary a while ago, telling stories of those porn stars, one thread was how those people dated in their real life.
There were a couple, both of them were porn stars..Their relationship must have been the opennest relationship in the world, cuz they not only knew their significant other was having sex with others, but sometimes they saw that with their own eyes.
Even so, they still boke up in the end, and the reason was, they would get jealous at times, and they didnt trust each other........
My point: even porn stars couldnt stay in a relationship without trust, how could we normal people?
Last edited by Panda on Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| ciccone_youth wrote: |
| i understand you'd rather be in an open relationship than have to cheat, which i respect, but at the same time, i would be too painful for me to picture my bf with someone else. |
I totally agree with you |
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asylum seeker
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Location: On your computer screen.
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| ciccone_youth wrote: |
| asylum seeker wrote: |
| I think many people would be happier in open relationships and that it's the social stigma that holds them back. It goes against many people's basic nature to commit to only one sexual partner for life. I'm planning to get married but I'm very worried about my own ability to be faithful and I'd rather be out in the open about it. I broached the subjest with my GF but she nixed it right away and now I'm starting to have doubts about the marriage. |
wouldn't it be hurtful to imagine your girlfriend/wife sleeping with another man?
i understand you'd rather be in an open relationship than have to cheat, which i respect, but at the same time, i would be too painful for me to picture my bf with someone else. |
I think I couldn't handle it if it was mutual and open. How could I be jealous when I know I'm gettting to do the same thing myself? I don't think it would have to be something that happened often. Just enough so life doesn't become too boring. |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| Simone de Beuvoir and Jean Paule Sarte had an open relationship. de Beuvoir wasn't as into it as he was and ended up feeling betrayed by him and her children. If great french philosophers can't make it work, I wouldn't have a whole lot of luck. I'd still like to give it a shot, though. Kinky! |
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Olivencia
Joined: 08 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 2:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Free AIDS |
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mc_jc
Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Location: C4B- Cp Red Cloud, Area-I
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Topics like this was more common and easy to talk about in the 70's- back then it was common for people to be in open relationships because of the simple spirit of free love.
I think what grounded things a lot was AIDS and the fact that many simply don't get checked for STDs and they could spread like wildfire.
Also, with Korea being in a conservative society (at least on the outside), such concepts are pretty much taboo and looked upon rather negatively. Although Koreans do it, they tend to keep their love lives private and not flaunt the fact that they have multiple bfs/gfs. So when they see a foreigner with many different women/men, it leads them to think that they are not serious about their lives, but what they don't take into consideration is that it is a personal choice. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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It's hard enough to have a good relationship with one person, who the heck has time for another? I'm not interested in "just sex", so I am not interested in open relationships. I'm also not interested in a partner who wants to split HIS romantic efforts into other relationships. I want it all.  |
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Fox
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| asylum seeker wrote: |
| ciccone_youth wrote: |
| asylum seeker wrote: |
| I think many people would be happier in open relationships and that it's the social stigma that holds them back. It goes against many people's basic nature to commit to only one sexual partner for life. I'm planning to get married but I'm very worried about my own ability to be faithful and I'd rather be out in the open about it. I broached the subjest with my GF but she nixed it right away and now I'm starting to have doubts about the marriage. |
wouldn't it be hurtful to imagine your girlfriend/wife sleeping with another man?
i understand you'd rather be in an open relationship than have to cheat, which i respect, but at the same time, i would be too painful for me to picture my bf with someone else. |
I think I couldn't handle it if it was mutual and open. How could I be jealous when I know I'm gettting to do the same thing myself? I don't think it would have to be something that happened often. Just enough so life doesn't become too boring. |
Maybe you could handle it. I don't think most people could. I certainly couldn't. I could not handle the woman I loved sleeping with other men, and to be honest, I think I'd probably fall out of love with the woman in question if I slept with other women. Sex is a fairly emotional thing for me, and I think it is for a lot of other people too. |
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joyfulgirl
Joined: 05 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:24 am Post subject: |
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very simply and well-put, fox. that's how i feel as well.
sex is just sex when it's a one-night stand, or whatever...
emotions are naturally tied to sexual relationships...i.e. those that last longer than a night or two.
i believe i would be unable to love more than one person at a time, and i would feel uncomfortable being one aspect of someone else's love, as they found different aspects in other people.
but i know some people who think it is evolved to be in open relationships and love freely. i don't think they're wrong, necessarily, but i don't think it's something i could do.
i was just wondering how other people felt. thanks for the replies. |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:42 am Post subject: |
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| asylum seeker wrote: |
| It goes against many people's basic nature to commit to only one sexual partner for life. |
jealousy and violence are pretty big parts of many people's basic nature too...so go ahead and be unfaithful, but don't get upset when she burns your house down and kills the person you cheated on her with.  |
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Tundra_Creature
Joined: 11 Jun 2009
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:49 am Post subject: |
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I personally couldn't be in an open relationship. Like a few other people here, it's an emotion thing.
However, if someone else wants to be in one, then it's fine by me as well. It's not my business. If it works for them, then it works for them. |
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