Korean Job Discussion Forums

[oldenew]

I think the biggest difference is between sex and love. They are not the same. You can have a steady girlfriend/wife/partner and be totally in love with them. Simply having sex with another person does not mean you all of a sudden don't love or respect the steady other.

The OP asked about being in an open relationship. he didn't say that you came back home and beagged about it to your significant other everytime you tumbled. At least I didn't get that impression.

Sort of like gays in the military. Don't ask...don't tell. Do what you want to do and if you can handle it emotionally, who cares.

Me, I don't care if I have a steady or not, I want all the hairpie that I can get. It doesn't mean I don't love mama!

Besides, the most exciting sex you ever have is the first 2 or 3 times with someone new.

[Savant]

[Draz]

[Draz]

[oldenew]

[peppermint]

[Panda]

[martypants]

I used to be a lucky guy and get to hang out at a "swingers" club back home. I was single but I got to know a lot of the people in open relationships. Sure, they get divorced, but no more frequently than "regular" people. It was never as a result of the swinging (he/she does me better than you.) If you can get past your mate getting nailed by someone else, its great. I especially liked it when my gf did the group thing
and I could watch her - that's sometimes better than me going off in one her direction and her in another

[Psy]

With the opposite sex, I find only four types of relationships outside of family.

1) Friend - no way, no how, no chance will sex even be a slight possibility. The male either has no desire for her at all, (or gay) or sticks around hoping he has a chance. The female is so comfortable around him, she can be herself and uses him for company and emotional help.

Conclusion: Closed relationship, but no one is getting any anyway.


2) Dating - Normal people will buy girls gifts, do nice things to try to win her over, when all that will do is, make her hold out longer. Smart people will do the opposite. Everyone's heard that girls love bad boys. Girls must hold out because they don't want to come off as being easy. (and no one likes easy girls)

Conclusion: Open relationship! Meet other people freely and make it known that you are doing so even to the other girls/guys you are meeting. Sleep around! Just remember, honesty is the best policy! You are the catch! And when you find the one...


3) Girlfriend/Boyfriend - People are often confused between dating and GF/BF status. GF/BF status means not meeting other people and sleeping with them. If you do, you are cheating! Make it known that only the select few can reach this status in your book and that you have high morals and ethics regarding monogamy.

Conclusion: Closed relationship! If you sleep around while you have a GF/BF, you are stupid and going to hurt others along with yourself.


4) Marriage - Over the course of BFs/GFs, or you're just plain sick of the dating and relationship scene you will get married and live happily ever after..right?

Conclusion: Obviously closed. If you cheat here, you are either immature, unsatisfied with your (sex) life, didn't get enough when you were younger, or cannot control your temptations (emotional - women, or physical - men)


So there you go. If you're dating, (with many people at the same time, hopefully), just be honest. Go nuts! From my experience, both guys and girls respect your honesty. If you're in a GF/BF relationship, just don't.
The others should be obvious, duh.

[martypants]

[Psy]

[Gumdrop92]

I've been in a relationship with my current SO for about 4.5 years. The first two years were considered an open-relationship. He's in the military and is never in the same state/country as me, so we always said that we were in an open relationship.
We both had sex with other people and would never question each other about it. He asked about it one day and made himself very angry over it. So we agreed to end the "open" part of our relationship.

I do think that open-relationships will cause jealously with one, or both, partners. I had never seen my SO angry, so that was a surprising reaction. It never bothered me because I thought he was happy with the "open" part, I guess I was wrong. That is why communication is key!

[earthbound14]

They work and they don't work. It really depends on the people involved.

I've had a few. They worked for a time, but it is hard to stop being jealous. It is human nature to do so. Some people get around a lot more...you don't want to turn your open relationship into a competition to see who gets more...and you just might want to streer clear of people who say they want open relationships just so they can see how many notches they can put in the belt...it does happen.

However far too many people feel they should be jealous and take it too far.

As another poster stated, we aren't really meant to be with only one person our whole lives.

Genetically it makes sense to spread the seed a little...be a little more diverse rather than place all your eggs in one basket so to speak.

Yet it is also a pretty smart idea to stick with one good person and work hard to raise those kids together.

That's really what we are....a mixed up bunch of people trying to do what is best for our own genetic survival.

All the ideals of perfect open relationships or perfect lifelong relationships kind of go out the window.

We all just make our choices and try to do our best with it.

So my answer is follow your heart...which will probably lead to more than one person, but know the person your with and know yourself...don't assume or project what you think you should feel. Somebody will get jealous, somebody will be untrust worthy, somebody out there just might deserve more of your time..may be all of it. You have to be honest.

[oldenew]

[Panda]