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Question about creepy encounter with stranger.
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pangaea



Joined: 20 Dec 2007

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:25 am    Post subject: Question about creepy encounter with stranger. Reply with quote

I was walking with my dog in the park one day and a man started following me and asking me questions. I got used to being asked personal questions by random strangers in Korea, but this guy was unusually nosy and persistent. I was trying to get away from him but he kept following me. The conversation was something like this:

Creepy guy: "Where you from?"
Me: "America."
Creepy guy: "You married?"
Me: "Um...no..."
CG: "You have boyfriend?"
Me: "Um...yes." (a lie)
CG: No ring?
Me: "Um...I took it off."
CG: "You live by yourself?"
Me: (Too creeped out to pretend to be polite)"Bye!"

He asked me other questions but that's when I started to get really uncomfortable. Keep in mind that I was walking very quickly, practically running, and the man was running to keep up with me. We were on a hill with no one else around and I was trying to get back down to the main path where there would be more people. I was trying my best not to be rude but when he asked me if I lived alone, I pretended my dog was pulling me along and I ran the rest of the way down the hill. I managed to lose him when I got down to the main path in the park. I'm just really mystified by his behavior. Was he just trying to make conversation and asking me the only questions he knew how to ask? Was he fishing for friendship? A date? Was he trying to figure out if my...services...were available? I tried to give the guy the benefit of the doubt just in case his motives were innocent, but really...back home, any strange man who followed me through an isolated area and asked me if I lived alone would get a kick to the crotch just before I ran screaming bloody murder on my way to call the police. Anyone have any insight into this situation?
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Jeonmunka



Joined: 05 Oct 2009

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are a lot of creeps, especially homeless men in parks.
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benji1422



Joined: 02 Jun 2009
Location: Los Angeles & Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.
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nomad-ish



Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

benji1422 wrote:
What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.


he was probably trying to get a date, but that was still very creepy of him asking all those questions as she was trying to get away from him.

OP, next time, just say you're married and the ring's at home Very Happy
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Old Gil



Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

benji1422 wrote:
What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.


If this was an attempt at humor it was a crappy one.
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RyanInKorea



Joined: 17 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Gil wrote:
benji1422 wrote:
What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.


If this was an attempt at humor it was a crappy one.


You only think his because you're older. I found it midly amusing, though somewhat unnecessary, possibly even inappropriate, given the OP.

Ryan
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seoulsucker



Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Do you live alone?" isn't exactly a standard question for a casual dating approach. Creeeeeeeepy.

That's like being at a club and asking a girl, "Are you going to be walking to your car by yourself later?"
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Draz



Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

seoulsucker wrote:
"Do you live alone?" isn't exactly a standard question for a casual dating approach. Creeeeeeeepy.

That's like being at a club and asking a girl, "Are you going to be walking to your car by yourself later?"


I take it to mean he's a cheap beep who doesn't want to pay for love hotels once you fall to his charms and finally start hooking up like every day.

I've had it from guys who legitimately seemed to want to date me. Rolling Eyes
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Old Gil



Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RyanInKorea wrote:
Old Gil wrote:
benji1422 wrote:
What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.


If this was an attempt at humor it was a crappy one.


You only think his because you're older. I found it midly amusing, though somewhat unnecessary, possibly even inappropriate, given the OP.

Ryan


So jokes about assault are Kosher as long as you're born after 1982? I'm 29, I don't believe there's a huge age gap here.

Unnecessary and inappropes count as 'crappy' in my book, especially given the OP.
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Zulethe



Joined: 04 Jul 2008

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He just wanted to be your friend. Talk about over-reacting. Perhaps it's time to stop watching all those horror flicks, they're starting to make you paranoid.
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Goku



Joined: 10 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My current girlfriend before we were even dating asked me that question early on, "Do you live alone?" I think it's supposed to be some invasive way to establish if you have a living partner or with family. It could also be a conversation starter. But it isn't the first time I've had people ask me if I live alone. Usually when girls ask me that, I think they are looking to freeload off me cause I'm a weigook or something (like live in my house or something), but there is probably some deeper culture dating culture type reason to this question. I mean, it's pretty freaking obvious I probably live alone. I'm a frigin foreigner.

Also, the reason the guy seems so creepy COULD be because of the limited English. I've tried to ask a few girls out in Korea and the best line I could come up with is "Boyfriend isayeo?"

Yes, it's the same exact equivalent to the creepy guy's question. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. I come off as creepy all the time and I have absolutely no trouble finding girls. In fact, girls usually approach me... But sometimes it's just hard to approach a girl you have interest in with the right mood and the right conversation starters.

Think about it from a man's perspective. Reverse the roles. You see a gorgeous looking man and you definitely want to get to know how him or at least talk to him. Assume he's this Daniel Henny of a man with gorgeous eyes and firm chin. Hot figure and ass to boot. But you have no connection with him and he's jogging along. Well you decided. F*** it, I'm asking him out. But you speak jack squat Korean. So the questions you come up with are like... Girlfriend isaeyeo?

Although I do have to admit, the way he's approaching you is pretty desperate. Because you usually start off with questions like... are you from around here? Maybe he just doesn't want to waste his time talking to you if you already have a boyfriend.
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Old Gil



Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She was walking at a brisk pace and he kept following her, that's the creepiest part about it. Korea is ostensibly a high context culture, you'd think Mr. Suavecito would have picked up on that.
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redaxe



Joined: 01 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It happens. My friend (a thin, attractive young white woman) got followed home by a creepy Korean dude who started a conversation with her on the bus. She gave him her number at some point to make him go away (bad idea) but she ended up having to threaten to call the police, or have her American boyfriend beat him up, or something like that.

She didn't stay in Korea long.
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RyanInKorea



Joined: 17 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Gil wrote:
RyanInKorea wrote:
Old Gil wrote:
benji1422 wrote:
What's the matter with you?

It's called TRYING TO GET A DATE.


If this was an attempt at humor it was a crappy one.


You only think his because you're older. I found it midly amusing, though somewhat unnecessary, possibly even inappropriate, given the OP.

Ryan


So jokes about assault are Kosher as long as you're born after 1982? I'm 29, I don't believe there's a huge age gap here.

Unnecessary and inappropes count as 'crappy' in my book, especially given the OP.


You're only 29? Sheite, I am older than you. Maybe you just don't have a sense of humor. The OP wasn't exactely about asault, but more about a creepy guy.

It was mildly entertaining in my books!
Ryan
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beercanman



Joined: 16 May 2009

PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Gil wrote:
She was walking at a brisk pace and he kept following her, that's the creepiest part about it. Korea is ostensibly a high context culture, you'd think Mr. Suavecito would have picked up on that.


Do the rules apply when interacting with foreigners? You know how awkward some people can be trying to speak to foreigners, using their weaker language, trying to relate with different social norms. Koreans in particular have all these social rules that foreigners do not. They are aware of this, and might believe foreigners are more casual or something. One guy hit on my female roommate once, directly with a line like,"Can I sleep with you?" Some have no idea how to act around foreigners.

Once a guy followed me home, getting off the bus where I did, and hanging around outside my building for a while. He asked me, "Do you like gay sex?"
Hmm. That was odd. Later, telling others about it, it just seemed funny.


Last edited by beercanman on Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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