| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
proustme
Joined: 13 Jun 2009
Location: Nowon-gu
|
 Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:57 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
"Girlfriend isaeyo?"  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Goku wrote: |
| My current girlfriend before we were even dating asked me that question early on, "Do you live alone?" I think it's supposed to be some invasive way to establish if you have a living partner or with family. It could also be a conversation starter. But it isn't the first time I've had people ask me if I live alone. Usually when girls ask me that, I think they are looking to freeload off me cause I'm a weigook or something (like live in my house or something), but there is probably some deeper culture dating culture type reason to this question. I mean, it's pretty freaking obvious I probably live alone. I'm a frigin foreigner. |
I don't live alone. So the next question was "Your roommate, is he gone a lot?" Ha. Yeah, I have no idea where you're going with that question! Not the slightest idea! 
"I live with my family, so I'm hoping we can do it at your house." |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| RyanInKorea wrote: |
[
You're only 29? Sheite, I am older than you. Maybe you just don't have a sense of humor. The OP wasn't exactely about asault, but more about a creepy guy.
It was mildly entertaining in my books!
Ryan |
I don't find things like this funny, I have my reasons. This weird creepy pervert stalker crap that comes out of a completely occluded sexuality in this culture is really dangerous to women. It also happens elsewhere, but for other reasons. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
I'm no Picasso
Joined: 28 Oct 2008
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| seoulsucker wrote: |
"Do you live alone?" isn't exactly a standard question for a casual dating approach. Creeeeeeeepy.
That's like being at a club and asking a girl, "Are you going to be walking to your car by yourself later?" |
I've actually had this question asked many times. I mean, like, many times. By almost every guy I've met more than once. Sometimes it's a guy who's trying to suss whether or not he'll be able to come back to yours later. Sometimes it's "I heard foreigners live alone and since I've lived with my entire family, including my grandparents, for my entire life, I just can't believe that and I'm curious about it/feel sorry for you." It varies. Usually it's not too hard to get a pulse on what the intention is, though.
| beercanman wrote: |
Do the rules apply when interacting with foreigners? You know how awkward some people can be trying to speak to foreigners, using their weaker language, trying to relate with different social norms. Koreans in particular have all these social rules that foreigners do not. They are aware of this, and might believe foreigners are more casual or something. |
I'm sorry. I usually grant more social grace than anyone I know to situations where cultural hiccups may be causing a problem, but given the possibility that this could turn into an extremely dangerous situation for her, I don't think she should exactly be giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. How many times have we heard about some foreign woman having some nutjob man climb in through her window or try to follow her into her home by force? Some drunk old guys are under the impression that all foreign women sleep with absolutely any man for any reason, and that it's their right to force the situation.
It's not the same as you, as a man, nodding politely and patiently making your way through a stuttering conversation with some college kid. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
halfmanhalfbiscuit
Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Location: Seoul
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:48 pm Post subject: |
|
|
It's creepy if he talks like Peter Lorre.
He was just (?) being grossly clueless. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I would have told him to bugger off - too many personal questions. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RyanInKorea
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Old Gil wrote: |
| I don't find things like this funny, I have my reasons. |
Fair enough. I respect your point of view.
Have a nice day,
Ryan |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
nomad-ish
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| beercanman wrote: |
Do the rules apply when interacting with foreigners? |
EXACTLY! many koreans think foreigners are very casual, so they think it's alright for a young kid to address a foreign adult by their first name (debatable now, i guess, but i used to say mr./ms. growing up), scream at every foreigner they see, and ask personal questions. questions that they would never dare ask a korean. many koreans have to realize that although we obviously don't have the same social rules as they do, we do have some of our own. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Forward Observer
Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Location: FOB Gloria
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Captain Corea wrote: |
| I would have told him to bugger off - too many personal questions. |
Tend to agree with CC, I mean would he just walk up to a Korean girl and do the same thing? NOT a chance in modedit. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| nomad-ish wrote: |
| beercanman wrote: |
Do the rules apply when interacting with foreigners? |
EXACTLY! many koreans think foreigners are very casual, so they think it's alright for a young kid to address a foreign adult by their first name (debatable now, i guess, but i used to say mr./ms. growing up), scream at every foreigner they see, and ask personal questions. questions that they would never dare ask a korean. many koreans have to realize that although we obviously don't have the same social rules as they do, we do have some of our own. |
I ask my co-teachers what they would do in various hypothetical situations and they often don't see what is wrong about applying different rules to foreigners. My co-teachers seem to defend their countrymen at every turn with, "Maybe because you're foreign, they just don't understand." OKAY! I see, now I feel great.
I can't say I've ever experienced culture shock before my time in Korea, and I've lived in various places arund the world. I think I may be going through phase 2 of Culture Shock 101 right now. I guess I just need to get over this kind of stuff but your post rings true with my life in so many ways right now.
EDIT: Run OP, run! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Bloopity Bloop wrote: |
| nomad-ish wrote: |
| beercanman wrote: |
Do the rules apply when interacting with foreigners? |
EXACTLY! many koreans think foreigners are very casual, so they think it's alright for a young kid to address a foreign adult by their first name (debatable now, i guess, but i used to say mr./ms. growing up), scream at every foreigner they see, and ask personal questions. questions that they would never dare ask a korean. many koreans have to realize that although we obviously don't have the same social rules as they do, we do have some of our own. |
I ask my co-teachers what they would do in various hypothetical situations and they often don't see what is wrong about applying different rules to foreigners. My co-teachers seem to defend their countrymen at every turn with, "Maybe because you're foreign, they just don't understand." OKAY! I see, now I feel great.
I can't say I've ever experienced culture shock before my time in Korea, and I've lived in various places arund the world. I think I may be going through phase 2 of Culture Shock 101 right now. I guess I just need to get over this kind of stuff but your post rings true with my life in so many ways right now.
EDIT: Run OP, run! |
It's not just you, I know lots of people that have lived in various countries in every continent, but all have been shocked by Korea. Korea's culture is truly shocking, and nothing outside of Korea can prepare you for it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP
Joined: 28 May 2009
Location: Electron cloud
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Don't want to freak you out but I knew a foriegn girl who met one of these kinds of guys... Found him peeppiung through window one evening through a crack in the curtains...
I'd be watchful that he doesn't bump into you again and make sure he can't find out where you live...
I dunno, it may not be anything. But I'd keep alert for a few weeks just to make sure if I were you. I'm sure you're a smart girl and have worked that out for yourself already right? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
benji1422
Joined: 02 Jun 2009
Location: Los Angeles & Seoul
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Old Gil wrote: |
| RyanInKorea wrote: |
[
You're only 29? Sheite, I am older than you. Maybe you just don't have a sense of humor. The OP wasn't exactely about asault, but more about a creepy guy.
It was mildly entertaining in my books!
Ryan |
I don't find things like this funny, I have my reasons. This weird creepy pervert stalker crap that comes out of a completely occluded sexuality in this culture is really dangerous to women. It also happens elsewhere, but for other reasons. |
So since you were victimized the rest of us are not allowed to amuse ourselves and must live in a constant state of fear of saying the wrong thing in that our attempts at humor might awaken your trauma?
Men who try to get dates and fail miserably is a source of amusement for other men (and people) along with midgets, people in wheelchairs, anything relating to anus, slipping on banana peels etc.. etc...
In any case I think you the OP and you should write a folk song about the aggressive nature of the Korean male specimen in pursuit of his mate.
It's topics like this which knock us off the highhorse of cultural awareness/sensitivity that we pat ourselves on the back for having as Westerners. THE GUY WAS TRYING TO GET A DATE. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DrugstoreCowgirl
Joined: 08 May 2009
Location: Daegu-where the streets have no name
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:34 pm Post subject: |
|
|
My friend and I were out on Halloween and some older Korean guys stopped us and were talking to us and the one guy grabbed my camera and had some middle school girl take a picture of my friend and I with him and the other guy. The creepy part is he somehow tracked down my friend and called her school this morning to have her call him back so she can meet up with him and give him a copy of the picture  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
nomad-ish
Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Location: On the bottom of the food chain
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
good luck OP. my advice is to next time just wear your head phones and if someone tries to talk to you who looks like he could be a threat, pretend you can't hear him and walk away. that usually works, but if he's not getting the idea, just be rude (great advice, huh?  ). i had a guy follow me around the grocery store a couple times (same guy) and in a bus terminal (same guy again). you just have to be aloof, ignore him, and leave quickly. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
