Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fakeplastiktree]

After living here for over a year, I've finally developed an attraction for Korean men and have become extremely interested in dating them as of late. The problem is that Korean men will not talk to me. The ones I've tried initiating contact with haven't spoken much English at all.

On the weekend in Itaewon I struck up a conversation with a really cute Korean guy that lived in the States for several years. When him and his friends were ready to leave he said, "it was nice talking with you" and then left. I sat there confused for a few seconds and then I got up and caught him before he left. I gave him my number and he gave me his card. The next day I texted him and asked him if he wanted to meet up. He sounded enthusiastic about meeting up (as much as can be interpreted through a text message, anyway). We made arrangements for one night this week.

I've heard indirectly that Western women need to be more "aggressive" in pursuing a Korean guy than we would with a Western guy. Is that true? Because I'm not sure if I'm coming on too strong or if this is what a Western woman needs to do to snag a Korean dude. I'm not sure at this point if he's even into me or if he's just being nice. I know every situation is different but I'm just wondering, in general, how Korean men are with Western women, especially at the beginning. Are they intimidated by us? Any thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

[Faunaki]

Just be yourself and don't worry about it so much. You don't have to act differently just because you're going for a Korean guy. Good luck^^

[Olivencia]

Mention how you are a good cook.

[Xaiko]

Maybe hes afraid of what his friends or parents will think? Or maybe hes already seeing Korean girls that he likes more? I dont think your coming on too strong, I would like it if a girl came and asked for my number as I was leaving. I think western woman are hot.

[anae]

Just be yourself and then you will catch the one that is right for you.

[Freeghen]

It depends on the person. From personal experiences and those of other women (who's stories i've read on this website), there are some pretty agressive perverts wandering the streets in Korea. Then there are men who act all shy, meek and surprised like you are trying to rape them or something if you invite them to your apt for a coffee (seriously a coffee, nothing else). It took me awhile to figure out that even inviting male friends over to your apt is a big no-no and it makes them think you are up for something else.
My boyfriend of 11 years is Korean and I had to pursue him. He did nothing and didn't really give off any big signals either way. It was really irritating (and amazing that we ever actually started dating), I had to do all of the initial work (ie: asking HIM out, making date plans, etc). He is lucky that he is really hot or else I just would have given up on him at the beginning ~ lol.
But i'm sure you have seen the mating/dating rituals here - all the slapping, whining "Oooppppaaaaahhhhh', pulling away and giggling. It is a like a big, clumsy, elementary school 'i like you but i don't want to say it' dance. Things are just different here, people aren't as forward as back home. But you are not Korean so you shouldn't act as such and you will never be treated as such.
My advice is to go for the gold and let a cute guy know that you are interested by chatting him up and exchanging numbers as you mentioned above. You'll find your Korean guy sooner or later.

Have fun!

[bassexpander]

Hmmm.. I can't fault a sister for being a bit more aggressive, but be warned that he may not be all that into you after he enjoys himself.

[Xuanzang]

I'm no Picasso might be able to give you tips. PM her.

[calicoe]

[redaxe]

[black spring]

What if you are friends first with the Korean guy in question? Do you think they start just thinking of you as a friend or even, as one of my Korean friends referred to a western co-worker as, a sister? Especially the shy types other posters mentioned - the ones who freak out over a genuinely (almost) innocent invitation to hang out in an apartment? Sometimes I think that the only way to get through to the guy in question is to come right out and say how I'm feeling, but I'm worried that since we're already very good friends it might scare him off and I could lose one of the best friends I have here.

Freeghen, just out of curiosity, how did you meet your boyfriend? Were you friends first or was it through chatting him up somewhere (in which case, your interest ought to have been clear to him)?

I just get the feeling that some of the guys that we western women find attractive may have confidence issues about their level of attractiveness to women, since the ones we may be attracted to aren't always the ones that Korean women consider good-looking.

Just today I was talking with two (university) students in my class who kept asking if western women really thought strong jaws were attractive on men...they honestly couldn't believe that anyone would find that attractive, and yet there was more than a bit of hope in their question, too.

[Freeghen]

[Freeghen]

[benji1422]

[DWAEJIMORIGUKBAP]

Easy recipe to find out if a male is interested in you.

Walk up to him, grab his crotch, wink and say

'So you're coming back to my place?'