Korean Job Discussion Forums

[oskinny1]

[Manuel_the_Bandito]

[Johnny5]

Roger Milla

A late-comer to the ESL scene, he amazes all with his high level performance into his old age. Also includes the oldest age at which a one-year contract has ever been performed.

[vaticanhotline]

The Sven Goran Eriksson:

By some quirk of fate or charm, this hapless teacher gets a post at a good university with a high reputation, has a gorgeous Korean girlfriend, and a bit on the side as well. Unfortunately, his easygoing attitude towards attendance and language ability leads to his dismissal, albeit with a hefty settlement. Ends up working at a rubbish Christian fundamentalist hagwon, but is still making in excess of 3 million a month.

[highdials5]

The Sol Campbell

A solid performer in the hagwon industry, managing to complete er...a full week of his year-long contract, before inexplicably pulling a runner and leaving his coworkers in the lurch. Reasons for said departure were unclear at the time of writing, but question marks had been raised amongst the male workforce due to some dubious shenanigans at an unpaid weekend retreat at Jirisan National Park.

[Xuanzang]

[Bog Roll]

Alexei Lalas:

A wacky haircut and clothes cannot hide the fact that he is shit at his job.

Carlos Valderrama (He didn't play in the premiership but still..)

A wacky haircut and clothes cannot hide the fact he is a lazy *beep*.

Steve Schertzer - He has the constipated, spasticated look like Phil Neville - Neville Nevilles favourite son - rates himself a lot more highly than he actually is.

[11jv]

The Nemanja Vidic � An initially eyebrow-raising but essentially astute appointment. Solid and dependable, knows how to get the job done and how to please hagwon directors and parents of students alike. Often robotic, he forms the bedrock of the schools good reputation. However, he overly relies on a telepathic relationship with his co-teacher who suffers a spout of back injuries culminating in an unexpected dip in form that exposes his lesson planning ability and lack of classroom discipline. Career thereafter blemished by unsavoury run-ins with students and hagwon directors.

The Zinidine Zidane � Majestic in the classroom, effortlessly captivating in the pub and a pure thoroughbred in the bedroom. CV of iridescent reviews in a career that has taken him to the most prestigious schools in Japan, China and Korea where he has never disappointed. Winner of many esteemed teaching awards.

The Ian Holloway � An old school yet unconventional approach that stretches the curriculum to and maybe beyond the acceptable extreme. However, wins over the classroom with wit and charm. Relishes the end of lesson games and prides himself on teaching his students useless working class metaphors and on special occasions, swear words. The later resulting in dismissal and a fruitful spell imparting his skewed wisdom on the job discussion forums.

[scotty12347]

[highdials5]

[Billos]

The Matt Le Tissier � Overweight guy who has been in Korea for over 5 years but bafflingly has stayed with the same Hagwon even though he has had offers from Universities. Would pull absolutely stunning activities out of his MOD EDIT but because of his poor teaching of English theory and his laziness in the office after lessons he was deemed to be a Luxury teacher by many.

[halfmanhalfbiscuit]

The Andy Reid-trimmed down, makes lesson plans, is busy and makes a point of looking busy.

The Berbatov-can score with a lower level team/class...just plays question-answer ping pong with everyone else and can't understand why nothing works. Staff room whiner.

The Louis Saha-brilliant but brittle. Pulls great lessons and delivery from out of the blue, is down with a cold the rest of the time.

Joey Barton-given chances but stuffs them up. Fired from Pagoda for kicking another teacher down stairs from behind. Turns up out of the wilderness at CDI, burns everyone's lesson plan folders before getting fired again for welding shut every classroom but his own. Currently awaiting a Taiwan visa

The Gazza???????????

[highdials5]

Great thread!

[highdials5]

The Gazza

Heralded as a teaching genius when he first arrived in Korea during the early 90s, it quickly turned sour after a horror attack on a middle school student which left him with serious knee ligament damage. Undeterred, he joined another hagwon who inevitably failed to check his references, a move that backfired when Gazza was soon embroiled in allegations of violence against his long-suffering Korean fiancee. Things went from bad to worse when Gazza was spotted eating samgyeopsal and drinking soju, just hours before a crucial open class that was to make-or-break the hagwon in question. Last seen in Busan, sporting a regrettable blonde goatee and stumbling out of a Family Mart, armed with a plastic bag that seemingly contained numerous bottles of makchu, soju and bokbunja.

[halfmanhalfbiscuit]