Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ppcg4]

I'm almost done my contract. 3 months left. Finishes in March.

I've been in Korea for a year and ~3 months. I like it here, but I miss my family and home a lot.

Here are some of the factors:

Things making me want to stay:

- Girl (up and down rollercoaster, she's seeing another guy as well as me, a lot of heartbreak, but the good moments outweigh the bad for me)

- Variety of things to see and do

- Independence... I have my own place, work pretty good hours (9:45 - 6:30 M-F)

- I pretty much enjoy my job

- ZERO plan about what to do when I get home. Will likely end up working a dead-end job. In my area, there isn't much to do other than customer support, retail, etc... all the stuff I hate

Things making me want to leave:

- Girl (see above)

- Miss my family and home

- Not certain about my future here (where will my job bring me?)

- Brother getting married in July. This is a big one. I have to be there for that. I'd have to either have my employer accommodate me being off for a week or find an employer who will

- No friends here

- Feel like I'm missing a lot being here and not back in Canada (family stuff)

I have been having this debate with myself for the past couple of months, and I just can't figure out what to do.

Any insight would be really helpful.

[Xuanzang]

Don't stay for the girl. She's not a good reason for staying. Someone you're just messing around with? Someone who isn't committed to you in any real way. Getting time off can be problematic as they might promise you but then screw you over. You might as well just go back, relax a bit and then come out back for the second semester in Sept. If you still have a hankering for Korea.

[thomas pars]

yeah dude. change your life which you seem happy with for some broad is pretty f**** dumb.

[ytuque]

It seems like you are only considering 2 options, staying in Korea or going home. There are other options such as going to graduate school or going to teach in another country.

What can you do so that returning home doesn't seem like such a losing proposition?

[ppcg4]

The girl thing is my real emotional tie to Korea. We've been 'together' for a year, but she's tried to break it off with me a couple of times. I accepted her seeing other guys while still seeing me, but it's been killing me.

I don't want to go back to school because of the money issue. I was supposed to be paying off my student loans here, but that hasn't really panned out either.

Yeah, I know I'm an idiot and a sucker for staying with her, but I do love her. She just says she can't be with me because I can't travel.

I've considered Japan. When I went to Fukuoka to renew my visa, I fell in love with the place. So clean and friendly... expensive though.

[Xuanzang]

You'll have time and some money coming to you when your contract is done. You could definitely travel. What's she saying?

[hockeyguy109]

Forget about the girl, dude. If she has to have two boyfriends, she is a load of heartbreak. Probably insecurity or something on her part. Even if she eventually only saw you, how long would it take her to get antsy again?

Why not go home after your contract is finished. Take a breather. Take a few risks. You might find your dream life. If it doesn't work out, you can always come back. South Korea isn't going anywhere, don't worry!

[ppcg4]

She wants to go to Tunisia. I can think of roughly 10 places I'd rather visit in the world than North Africa. But since she's fluent in Arabic, it wouldn't be bad.

She's just playing on my emotions. Yesterday was 'my day', so she picked up stuff from the grocery store and made me a killer meal. After that we just laid in bed all day and talked. That's what I consider to be a perfect chilly Saturday night activity. She gave me a letter she wrote saying how her feelings for me are the same as they were last winter (we were in heaven last winter, perfect relationship). She keeps saying she is feeling more strongly for me, but after talking to the guy she's also seeing, she 'decided' last night that she likes him better, and that she won't see me any more.

You should know that with her, there are no absolutes. "Won't see you anymore" really means "See you next time momma needs big poppa to bring home the 삼겹살. For her, it's the sex and my undying devotion that keeps her coming back. For me, it's the sex and the attachment I feel for her. I would give her a kidney if she needed it.

Things can be great, or horrible. She told me last night (after much probing) that she actually would be pretty upset if I left for Canada.

I should write a book.

[VFRinterceptor]

Take a break from Korea. Sounds like you need it.

[joltaxt]

[Xuanzang]

She's like a drug. You need to go cold turkey or else you're going end up 30 and still be her loyal terrier. Why waste your time, money and effort on someone who clearly isn't interested in you beyond the physical or immediate part. Good luck with putting the modedit on a pedestal.

[Samurai Blur]

I agree with the two posts above. You only get one life so you shouldn't waste any measurable portion of it on her just because you can't find your bawls (not trying to flame you, just giving my opinion from experience).

[Girlygirl]

OMG...I feel so sad for you, OP. This day and age, women wouldn't even put up with this kind of behaviour from men. Why would you accept this from a woman? She treats you like this because you LET her. If you enjoy this kind of rendezvous, then carry on. But it seems you're frustrated and hurt, please demand some respect or move on. Don't worry your time will come. There are good women out there.

[Joe666]

I was honestly going to stay out of this thread, but I need to reinforce what others have already said. What are you thinking!!!! You need to either remove your emotions from the physical (an almost impossibility now) or END IT. Stay in Korea if you so choose, but stay away from her. I realise it's easier said than done, but you will be thanking us posters who are just trying to give you a hand.

[Old Gil]

Go to a shrink and get the hell out of Korea.