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| If you know you're leaving but the girl starts clinging what do you do? |
| Tell her you're leaving |
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48% |
[ 18 ] |
| Tell her you're staying |
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5% |
[ 2 ] |
| Be real vague/say maybe/I'm not sure |
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35% |
[ 13 ] |
| Pretend you don't speak English |
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10% |
[ 4 ] |
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| Total Votes : 37 |
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Message |
Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
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 Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:29 am Post subject: Do you tell the girl you're leaving? |
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So I have this situation. Actually it's a non-situation at this point.
I met a local lady. The thing is, I'm leaving Korea in April, no ifs ands or buts. We've only been 'seeing' (note the air quotes) each other for a week and a half but I got the feeling that she was getting attached so I felt obligated to disclose my plans for next year. Things go well that night but a few days later she just ends it, no repsonses to emails texts chats phone calls nothing. Cuts me off says I don't like her and I have no 정 (really! "외국인정이없어", something to that effect).
She's 31, I get that she's at that age for husband hunting, but we weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet here, it was a meet at the bar kind of thing and one thing lead to another. I'm not head over heels for this girl but I certainly lost what could have been a nice 4 month fling (real nice    ) over telling her straight up what was going down.
On the one hand, I think it's the right thing to do. On the other, she never really asked me what the deal was I just felt like it was necessary (also I was drunk). I'm not really second guessing being honest with her but to have a solid hook up pulled out from under you can be a little frustrating, in the fullest sense of the word. 
So what would you do? |
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ashland
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:36 am Post subject: Re: Do you tell the girl you're leaving? |
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| Old Gil wrote: |
So I have this situation. Actually it's a non-situation at this point.
I met a local lady. The thing is, I'm leaving Korea in April, no ifs ands or buts. We've only been 'seeing' (note the air quotes) each other for a week and a half but I got the feeling that she was getting attached so I felt obligated to disclose my plans for next year. Things go well that night but a few days later she just ends it, no repsonses to emails texts chats phone calls nothing. Cuts me off says I don't like her and I have no 정 (really! "외국인정이없어", something to that effect).
She's 31, I get that she's at that age for husband hunting, but we weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet here, it was a meet at the bar kind of thing and one thing lead to another. I'm not head over heels for this girl but I certainly lost what could have been a nice 4 month fling (real nice ) over telling her straight up what was going down.
On the one hand, I think it's the right thing to do. On the other, she never really asked me what the deal was I just felt like it was necessary (also I was drunk). I'm not really second guessing being honest with her but to have a solid hook up pulled out from under you can be a little frustrating, in the fullest sense of the word.
So what would you do? |
lame... (you could come up with something better) |
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Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:38 am Post subject: Re: Do you tell the girl you're leaving? |
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| ashland wrote: |
lame... (you could come up with something better) |
Thanks for the tip!  |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Gil...this is funny.
You tell a woman you are seeing you are leaving her country (and not coming back) and you are surprised she ends it?
Are you also surprised each morning when the sun rises?
No offense but what did you expect? She made a decision...probably on the basis that she saw no point in pursuing things further since you are LEAVING.
What to do?
Move on...what else is there to do?
Good on you to have been honest with her howerver. |
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Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:44 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
What to do?
Move on...what else is there to do?
Good on you to have been honest with her howerver. |
When did I say I was surprised? I'm asking whether or not others would tell the girl when it starts off as just casually hooking up.
Maybe I wasn't clear. I'm not asking what to do NOW, there's nothing to be done now besides get back on the horse. I'm asking what others WOULD HAVE done in a similar situation. |
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tzechuk
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| 去那兒o阿? |
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UknowsI
Joined: 16 Apr 2009
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:14 am Post subject: |
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| Old Gil wrote: |
When did I say I was surprised? I'm asking whether or not others would tell the girl when it starts off as just casually hooking up.
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Don't give a girl false hopes, it's as easy as that. If you know for sure you are leaving soon don't make her believe you are staying, but if you are willing to change your plans and stay longer if the relationship turns out well then you can be more vague about it. |
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fermentation
Joined: 22 Jun 2009
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:27 am Post subject: |
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| I guess it all depends. If I liked her I would have been honest and told her. |
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Old Gil
Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Location: Got out! olleh!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:36 am Post subject: |
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不在这儿！isn't that enough？哈哈先回国之后去大陸 ^_^ |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:40 am Post subject: |
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