Korean Job Discussion Forums

[captain kirk]

That's pretty weird about the bar and the girl crying and her boyfriend the DJ throwing him out. Especially since he's been going there a long time, like it's the local. The whole GROUP is watching tv like a bunch of borgs and he UPSET the wannabe stewardess by reminding her she's a waitress at work. (!)
I get a stick in my spokes sometimes. Like this;
A couple of days ago I found an LG e-mail shop store catalogue. Like the SEARS catalogues back home. So I look through it to see how Koreans home shop, and what they buy. Hmm. Why are ALL the clothes models foreign? That's odd. Koreans must think, I muse, that foreigners are somehow more advanced or individual, or something. More free-thinking, like 'the Marlboro man'. Hmm. Dunno.
So a couple of nights later I'm coming home and I see a middle aged couple swinging golf clubs in front of the apartment I live in, by the trunk of their white car. The woman hisses 'Gom seki yah!!!!' which means, I think, 'stupid lazy man pig; I'm talking down to you!'. They both looked drunk, I figure on scotch. I figure that because scotch is the fashionable thing to drink for people interested in golf, and the finer things in life, which seem to be Western. Like the models in catalogues are Western. So I glare at the florid faced couple, but continue on my way into the apartment. Stew a while, trying to shake of the leech of it.
These kind of sticks in my spokes.

[Homer]

cacheSurfer...and I am sure ajumas everywhere also say to themsleves they are glad you are not one of them either...you would not last a day as an ajuma (neither would I for that matter..)

[rapier]

Its actually quite incredible, the slow, gradual mental adjustment that you undergo after a while in Korea. That general ill/anxious feeling that you learn to live with...the poverty of our existence here, and the process by which we rationalise it. i think our lives are mostly the poorer for being here.
I mean, we put up with :

* a general lack of warm/friendly/ approachable people
* A general lack of color or stimulation in our grey and uniform environment
* a general lack of basic politeness/ good behavior from strangers
* a general dissatisfaction/ lack of communication, trust, and good relations in our workplaces
* A general inability to fully participate in society here
* a general lack of security or predictability to our situations.
* A slowly growing paranioa," savage paranoid torpor".

- and so on, etc etc...I think most of our lives are less than what they should be out here, a scenario that almost imperceptibly creeps up on you.

[Homer]

Rapier,

You seem to be stating things based on your personal experience here.
Thats fine.

However using the "we" in this case is not warranted.

In my case for example:

* a general lack of warm/friendly/ approachable people

Thats not the case in my life here. I have lots of friends (both foreign and Korean), a rich family life and I find Koreans to be warm and easily approachable.

* A general lack of color or stimulation in our grey and uniform environment

This is rather vague. I do find some areas of Busan are indeed grey and uniform. However, my living area is buslting with color and life as there is a great open air market, a nice park, the ocean is nearby and the mountains offer nice hiking.
As for stimulation, I have my work. I also have saturday afternoons with my two nieces.

* a general lack of basic politeness/ good behavior from strangers

Again, while some Koreans have been rude to me, overall I find them to be nice. Then again this all depends on what you consider rude and where your outrage/irration threshold is.

* a general dissatisfaction/ lack of communication, trust, and good relations in our workplaces

This applies if you have a bad job and or can't communicate effectively with your co-workers and boss.
My current job is good and me and my employer and co-workers have a good working relationship. Communication is also different from back home but once you learn to read the signs its there.

* A general inability to fully participate in society here

Korea can be closed to outsiders but with some efforts and goodwill you can participate. My situation might be different since I am married to a Korean woman but I find that I participate quite a bit in "society" here. As much as I want too anyway.

* a general lack of security or predictability to our situations.

That can be true in the beginning. then again it can be true anywhere as far as work is concerned!
Secutiry is a vague topic. It can include many things. I feel quite secure here both professionally and personally. But thats my experience.

* A slowly growing paranioa," savage paranoid torpor".

This is all your rapier. I have no idea how one would feel this way here unless he or she had tendencies to feel this way beforehand.

Also:

"That general ill/anxious feeling that you learn to live with...the poverty of our existence here, and the process by which we rationalise it. i think our lives are mostly the poorer for being here. "

I cannot relate to this at all as I do not feel that

a) I have a poor existence here
b) That my life is poorer for being here.

In fact living here has made my life richer in the sense that I am learning about a different culture and living in a different country.
Of course it would all depend on what your definition of a rich life is.

Finally:
"I think most of our lives are less than what they should be out here, a scenario that almost imperceptibly creeps up on you."

Your life is basically what you make of it. Thats my view on things. If you feel your life here is less then it should be then do something about it.
Nothing "creeps up" on you unless you let it.

[jajdude]

I'll agree with both rapier and Homer on this one! Though I guess my personal experience tends to be reflected more by what rapier said. It's a matter of experience/opinion, and Homer seems to be the more positive one, as least regarding life in Korea.

[Butterfly]

Sure, but its Homer that holds the biggest truth for me when he says,

[captain kirk]

Tiger speaks of 'a general' this and that making a list of 'one's general experience here'. And Homer doesn't mention any negatives to living in Korea. While it seems Tiger's is all negatives. I think Tiger is closer to responding to the thread topic; 'How often do you have a bad Korea day?'. While Homer is closer to his own thread topic, 'if you can't say anything good, it's better not to say anything at all!', haha. Some people/personalities are UNABLE to complain. They see it as socially repugnant and so they always come across as integrated, successful, well-adjusted folk who find everything nice! Personally, I can't think of anything more horrible!
I go with the 'apologists' all the way because they build up on positive thoughts and attitude which we all NEED here! But I think it's all right not to 'decorate the walls of your cell'. That is put niceties which aren't really there around you in a sort of blind state, which includes censoring other people, smothering them with 'be nice!'. Suddenly Tiger is surrounded by people who seem to want to save him, and turn him around, and excorcize him of 'his demons' of 'misperception'. Sure, Korea is what you make of it! But don't make it some puffy, pillowy place it isn't while smothering 'malcontents'. This forum isn't an apologist revival meeting! haha

[Butterfly]

An apologist renaissance here and that's for sure, I would try to keep more of a a balance between what I like and dislike about Korea, and wish often that I could complain here, I expect Homer does too. I'm sure Homer has things he finds distasteful about Korea, certainly I do.

It's just when posters here go so very very over the top in their utter damning of this country, making such fundamental (and in my view misguided and ill-informed) criticisms of the very foundations of this society presented as though there are utterly irrefutable. Such as Rapier's post above. 'Here's a list of facts about this shyt country.'

[rapier]

Homer's right, I guess i could work harder at improving my life here..I already do, to a certain extent- I make an effort to travel around the country and do trips; i try to build good workplace relations; etc etc . it just seems that in Korea one has to put in a lot more effort to achieve a stimulating, variable and satisfied life. You really have to work at it. For example at work, the burden of being friendly and outgoing seems to fall entirely on my shoulders- koreans seem happy with a grunt or nod to make up an entire day's interraction.....

[Homer]

Butterfly, you hit the nail on the head.
Indeed I do have bad days here and I�do have complaints.
It is not against my nature to complain...I just like to think things through before just blurting out my complaints.

Rapier, I see your point and my post did not mean to say you were "wrong" and I was "right". Far from it.
I was just pointing out that reactions to things here vary as do experiences. I an not denying that some people have a bad time here. That happens for sure.

Like Butterfly however, I do not like most of the "complaints" post on here because in the end they are not complaints they are usually simple "damming of the entire country" rants based on very personal, limited and in the end emotional experiences.

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

[Zyzyfer]

[Homer]

Kiwi,

All I can say is: who cares what you think anymore.

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

Oh contrair mon amor ... this is just a little speed bump, and ...

We've only just begun to live,
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way.
And yes, We've just begun.

Before the rising sun we fly,
So many roads to choose
We start our walking and learn to run.
And yes, We've just begun.

Sharing horizons that are new to us,
Watching the signs along the way,
Talking it over just the two of us,
Working together day to day
Together.

And when the evening comes we smile,
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow,
And yes, We've just begun.

[Butterfly]