Korean Job Discussion Forums

MollyBloom · Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Location: James Joyce's pants

I overheard some lady employees talking at this coffee shop I frequent, and they were saying how there are degrees to which men crying is acceptable. For statistics purposes, the women ranged in age from years 18-32 and were your typical Long Island tanned honey, a Philippino punk rocker, a college engineering student, a self-proclaimed Jewbi (Jewish bi-sexual--I know, I never heard this before either)...so my point is that their views were all varied.

For example:

A. Death of a friend/family member/pet: acceptable
B. Sad movie: depending on the genre... chick flicks are not acceptable, war dramas are acceptable
C. Crying during a break-up: only acceptable if you like him, but it just won't work out. If you don't like him, then it's unacceptable.
D. Departure for a job, military duty, or school: a few teardrops are acceptable, but sobbing is not acceptable.

Not to be all fem, but WOW.

I seriously hope these girls are just a small minority of how women feel. Being a woman, I really never had to think about this. WTF?!

.38 Special · Joined: 08 Jul 2009 Location: Pennsylvania

aboxofchocolates · Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Location: on your mind

I always thought my brother got a little shafted because people always assumed he was't very sentimental because he's a guy. He is. He is also a strong guy.

No one should dictate anyone elses behavior. It's definitely comparable to men having a conversation about the appropriateness of skirt length. Men should be able to wear their skirt as long or as short as they like.

I'm no Picasso · Joined: 28 Oct 2008

I saw every single one of my long-term guys cry like babies, often during breakups or really bad fights where they thought we were going to break up. I think it was mostly just out of frustration, rather than any other kind of emotion. I don't think I've ever seen someone I'm seeing cry outside of that situation. I can be really infuriating during fights, I guess.

Anyway, I'm usually way more worried about me crying in front of them. You know. Minding my *own* business and that.

Harpeau · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Location: Coquitlam, BC

I'm a guy. I feel what I feel. If I feel like crying, I will and nothing's gonna stop me. If some guy wants to cry in front of me, then that's also fine by me. Tears are a sign of strength. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Jeonmunka · Joined: 05 Oct 2009

One time sobbed in my adult life: After I got home from when I beared and beared a massive migraine while at a stupid hospital here and had to wait and wait, wriggling in agony on the chair and on the bench seats for hours. I finally got to my house and I slid onto the bed and sobbed "Aaaarrrghhhh, it's so painful!"
It really was.

Death of a parent quietly mourned.

Apart from that some watery eyes from a sad or particularly poignant movie scene. Funny that something intellectually brilliant can inspire tears. But, I am a little melancholy and dreamy at heart. I like to make-believe the World knows all the answers.

beercanman · Joined: 16 May 2009

When a guy is (really) drunk you never know what could happen. All sorts of emotions can occur. Or if he is quite depressed, tears can happen for no apparent reason other than his mood is bad.

Triban · Joined: 14 Jul 2009 Location: Suwon Station

A. Death of a friend/family member/pet: acceptable

As a man this is the only one that is acceptable, however, I have never cried at a funeral...I do not know why. I have sobbed over a previous lover leaving for Paris for a year, and in my mind's eye I now see how pathetic I must have seemed; it disgusts me.

Crying of any type is usually a huge turn-off and disgusts me when anyone is doing it, regardless of gender. A man may cry in privacy, but no one wants to see that. Keep your emotions in check.

Faunaki · Joined: 15 Jun 2007

I can't stand men crying.

Have you noticed how often Korean men cry, especially on TV? Ahh makes me sick but my husband has pointed out to me that my thinking is wrong and I agree but I have a feeling it's too deeply engrained and that I'll pass it on to my son.

The thing is my dad cries but only when he's sad, so that's acceptable in my opinion.

I'm worried I'm gonna snap at my son to "suck it up" if he starts to cry when he's older. Then he'll be traumatized and have cry issues.

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

Why can't men cry? I don't have a problem with it.

People are people, people have emotions. Let it all out, I say!

Bloopity Bloop · Joined: 26 Apr 2009 Location: Seoul yo

Well I'm glad people qualified to authorize when and where guys can cry have found this thread. We really wouldn't have known what to do with our emotions without you guys!

I'm no Picasso · Joined: 28 Oct 2008

Triban · Joined: 14 Jul 2009 Location: Suwon Station

Steelrails · Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Location: Earth, Solar System

Death of a female relative/friend/significant other. Dad doesn't want to see you cry. Only time to sob.

Death of a pet, most likely a dog or horse. Not sobbing, only a tear or two. That's what drinking is for.

Movies- Must be holocaust survivor/World War II survivor, wife with Alzheimer's, etc. personal. Again only a tear or two.

Tragedy involving childhood hero i.e., Ernie Harwell's/Lou Gherig's farewell speech. Again, watery eye, not sobbing.

Everything else is to be dealt with by drinking, smoking, repression, sports, avoidance, snarling, and the firing range.

VanIslander · Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject:

I don't believe MollyBloom.

Good topic to think up though.