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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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 Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:54 am Post subject: |
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| sarahsiobhan wrote: |
| Two years for me, still have the emails, pictures, voice message files he sent me when I moved away to do my MA.....so not healthy. But I can't bring myself to delete them. |
Time is magic, isn't it, I am sure all you have about him now is good things
best wishes  |
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adventurrre
Joined: 18 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:33 am Post subject: |
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2 years ago my ex and I decided to part ways - on really good terms in an overall very happy 4 year relationship. I was studying abroad and we were both looking for new experiences. She visited me a few months later and we hooked up and kinda pretended it was like the old days. A few weeks after that she got a new boyfriend. And we still maintained a friendship through the internet, we both wanted to. I came back to the US and she started acting strange. It's like she was making up issues or something. Our communication as friends became strained for a little while. Then she basically told me we couldn't talk anymore. Then 6 months later I talk to her and she tells me her boyfriend hasn't wanted us talking (she was calling on the sly) and thats why we can't talk. Then she stupidly tells her boyfriend of the convo and she sends me an email saying how now we can't talk, indefinitely.
A few months later I was in the passenger seat of my friends car. She passed on her bike right in front and we met eyes for the first time in 9 months. She stopped her bike to talk. I opened the window and my friend wasn't aware of the situation and drove away at full speed and all I could seem to say was "ughhh we're leaving now...". The only words I say to her in person in 9 months. So I sent her a text saying how awkward and silly it was and asking to meet up later that day for a coffee. She denied the request.
She was never the type of girl who would ever abstain from talking because of a boyfriend. Her independent mind, a mind that I loved dearly, seems to only exist in memory.
So I deleted her on facebook.  |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| Meh, you know he sucks, that's why you split up with him. Don't sweat it. Instead, mock him! |
So you've never been cheated on, AND never really been in love?
At least I had the love at one point, even if he did suck in some ways. Really only one way. (Not wanting to commit to me.) Makes it hard to just walk away. Maybe that ONE thing will change! (It won't.)
I still have a comic book he did the art for, and his old driver's license with the adorable dopey picture taken when he was a teenager. I should get rid of them but... |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Draz wrote: |
| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| Meh, you know he sucks, that's why you split up with him. Don't sweat it. Instead, mock him! |
So you've never been cheated on, AND never really been in love?
At least I had the love at one point, even if he did suck in some ways. Really only one way. (Not wanting to commit to me.) Makes it hard to just walk away. Maybe that ONE thing will change! (It won't.)
I still have a comic book he did the art for, and his old driver's license with the adorable dopey picture taken when he was a teenager. I should get rid of them but... |
Are you kidding me? One, I'm talking to panda, and two, I'm trying to remind her (a la previous posts) she wanted to dump him earlier. Sometimes you have to be reminded about the times you were solid to deal with the times you're hurting.
I am moving on from something really one-sided myself. It sucks. So do a lot of things. sest la vee. |
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.38 Special
Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| Draz wrote: |
| aboxofchocolates wrote: |
| Meh, you know he sucks, that's why you split up with him. Don't sweat it. Instead, mock him! |
So you've never been cheated on, AND never really been in love?
At least I had the love at one point, even if he did suck in some ways. Really only one way. (Not wanting to commit to me.) Makes it hard to just walk away. Maybe that ONE thing will change! (It won't.)
I still have a comic book he did the art for, and his old driver's license with the adorable dopey picture taken when he was a teenager. I should get rid of them but... |
Are you kidding me? One, I'm talking to panda, and two, I'm trying to remind her (a la previous posts) she wanted to dump him earlier. Sometimes you have to be reminded about the times you were solid to deal with the times you're hurting.
I am moving on from something really one-sided myself. It sucks. So do a lot of things. sest la vee. |
It's okay, Boxie. Real men are three-sided. But they aren't easy to find. You can only see their third side if you're wearing blue and red glasses. The third side is the special side. That is where the happiness is. |
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MattAwesome
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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plenty of guys like cougars. dont know about relationships, but it's the same fantasy from high school up until... 25-28 i guess.
i dated a girl that had a black eye the first time we met. i called her panda face and still do to this day.
i think you are on the right track if you are thinking about moving on and not pouting about it. sure it hurts now. count it as experience and do better next time. (not pointing fingers) but something was wrong with somebody and i havnt read any of your other threads. learn from you experience. thats what i meant.
good luck |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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The news he is dating someone else, "that makes me a sa~d panda", but on the other hand, it was also a huge reief to me.
Thanks to everybody, I am feeling quite good today. 
Girls or guys who are experiencing a hard time after breaking up with your ex, feel free to PM me if you need help... ( this is the only thing I am really good at after failing all my previous relationships) |
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danby_ll
Joined: 06 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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My ex dumped me last February, after almost 2 years together. He was the guy I've loved the most in my life, the first one I saw myself marrying. 3 months after our breakup, he was engaged. I still (stupidly) occasionally visit his blog and get to see the beautiful engagement pictures of him and his gorgeous fiancee looking ever so happy.
If the mood is right, I can still bawl my eyes over it on any given day, even though I've had a new boyfriend since May. It's pathetic, but I can't get over him and I'm not sure if I ever will. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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| danby_ll wrote: |
My ex dumped me last February, after almost 2 years together. He was the guy I've loved the most in my life, the first one I saw myself marrying. 3 months after our breakup, he was engaged. I still (stupidly) occasionally visit his blog and get to see the beautiful engagement pictures of him and his gorgeous fiancee looking ever so happy.
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The one blessing is I have absolutely no idea what is going on with him. I don't know what job he has (if any), I don't know what country he's living in, I don't even know if he's seeing anyone let alone anything about her if he is so I can't compare myself to her.
If I learned anything from my high school relationship, it's that there's nothing to be gained from that. The girl he fell in love with after me was even lamer than I was. She got him hooked on MMOs and used him to advance her own career. Now he's like 30 and finally finishing the BA he started ten years ago. Did that make me feel better or worse? It doesn't matter, because obsessing is bad. Now of course I don't care. I quit caring exactly when I met the guy I'm currently obsessing over.
*obsesses, but with no new information to obsess on it's over sooner* |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Draz wrote: |
| danby_ll wrote: |
My ex dumped me last February, after almost 2 years together. He was the guy I've loved the most in my life, the first one I saw myself marrying. 3 months after our breakup, he was engaged. I still (stupidly) occasionally visit his blog and get to see the beautiful engagement pictures of him and his gorgeous fiancee looking ever so happy.
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The one blessing is I have absolutely no idea what is going on with him.
If I learned anything from my high school relationship, it's that there's nothing to be gained from that. |
I have never been in a long relationship. But I know lots of people end their long relationship by marrying or getting engaged to another one swiftly, I take that's a sign of weakness and stupidness, or "smart speculator" "going to be successful in business" .
I like to know what's going on with my ex ( although I try not to contact them directly)...and knowing they are doing good actually makes me quite proud, vice versa (who wants to date a loser?)
I saw his new girlfriend on his facebook page last night (we are not friends any more but I still check his profile quite often!!!) It felt like a Bang in the first place ( she is beautiful enough by Korean standard and quite successful), then it brought me to the second stage-- "self-reviving and self-perfecting" ......always like this.
Damn, I hate I am almost a perfect woman now... 
Any better Xmas gift you can imagine? |
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aboxofchocolates
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Location: on your mind
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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This isn't aimed at you, panda (most emphaticaly not, you seem to have it going on). I actually found a lot of shades of me in there. Thing is, I haven't come across a 'Nice Girls- Bleh' page that goes in detail about why men don't like 'Nice Women' because they are actually emotionally dependent, manipulative, and objectifying men, though I have no doubt it's true. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist, I just have no interest in looking for it. Here:
https://www.heartlessbitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Panda wrote: |
I like to know what's going on with my ex ( although I try not to contact them directly)...and knowing they are doing good actually makes me quite proud, vice versa (who wants to date a loser?) |
Maybe once I'm over him I'll like to know what's going on with him. Right now contact just reminds me of what I want and don't/can't have right now (not necessarily him, just that kind of thing), and I get depressed for days.
The thing is the other, less serious ones, are not doing good. Would I feel happy if they were? I don't know, it's never happened. I don't feel happy that they are NOT doing good, probably the closest word is exasperated. How can they still have not figure this out!!
Ah yeah, HB.com. I was really into that site in high school. Outgrew it for the most part.
Edit: I just remembered that I actually have a username for their forum. I can't remember what it is though. |
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Panda
Joined: 25 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Nice, nice...ladies
aboxofchocolate, I got your points, "too nice" people sometimes could be those self-indulged, pretentious, selfish, cold-hearted people.
They care mostly what people think of themselves but not others, thus they are either dependent or manipulative. They blame others instead of themselves for their failures. They are popular but they are always the left out and loners...
Thanks for reminding me, I am trying not to be anything like that ( especially when I now become older, I have to be cautious not to look desperate and pathetic  ).
Draz, hope you get over your ex soon as well...you should hang out with me, I am a very good wing woman~!  |
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Jeonmunka
Joined: 05 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| he was engaged. I still (stupidly) occasionally visit his blog and get to see the beautiful engagement pictures of him and his gorgeous fiancee looking ever so happy |
Everybody is smiley and happy on their engagement day. But wait a few months and you'll probably see a different look on their faces. That is even if they are still together.
Don't sweat what you see in the guy's engagement photo.
That sort of reminds me of how we always look at the green grass in our neighbors' yards. I said to one guy who was hot looking how hot his wife was and you know what he said? He said, 'Yeah, but I don't see that. I see her on the toilet and smell that afterwards and I don't feel at all that she's in any way hot.'
So, don't think about the grass being greener with regards to others' partners and you ex even if he does stay together with the one in the photo.
Basically, everyone has their own problems going on ... |
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