Korean Job Discussion Forums

[neilsputnik]

I have a Korean girlfriend, we have been together for a couple of years, most of that time in my country (NZ). She just moved back home (Seoul). I will come to Korea very soon to teach and we will live together etc.

From what I have researched and what my g.f. has said, there are lots of tensions in Korean society regarding interracial relationships -- especially amongst the old guard. I am interested in your experiences. From my sense of it, a lot of negative stuff is overblown and not too frequent, but definitely not out of the ordinary?

I am sure this topic has been covered ad-nausium; I have used the search function on this site but my computer won't download the page for some reason. Could someone kindly post a link if this has been covered?

Much appreciated.

[goesslry]

don't worry too much about it. The only thing you will most likely get is people staring at you as you walk down the street. I have never had a problem other than that. Rarely, someone will make a stupid/racist comment, but that is just a xenophobic society. Nothing serious will happen.

Don't stress it. it's a non-issue. Plus, it is getting more accepted every day.

Now, if you aren't in Seoul, it is a completely different issue, as it isn't nearly as common.

[misher]

Wouldn't sweat it. You personally won't have anything directed at you. Your girlfriend on the other hand my get the odd rude comment but in Seoul I would say this is really rare.

Outside Seoul is a different story though. I can't comment.

[Olivencia]

Had a girlfriend in Pohang in 1995 and was warned by her and another NET not to hold her hand in public.
Had a another girlfriend in Pohang in 2001 and had no problem walking around holding her hand in public.

[redaxe]

[Samurai Blur]

I have been with the same Korean girl for over three years now. We live in the states, but during the time we have spent in Korea we have only ever had one serious conflict with anyone. It didn't turn out to be a fight, so not too big of a deal. If you are curious about the details of it we can talk in PM. I discussed it once before on here and a bunch of whiners derailed the thread to criticize me.
Overall, it's not even anything you should think about. I would not expect death threats or anything like that. You might get some rude stares, but nothing that's not easily ignorable by an adult.. Not usually anyway.

[misher]

[quoteDon't worry though, it's really not bad in Seoul these days. But you will walk by people and notice them look at you, then look at her, then look at you again. Most of the judgment will be about her looks. The prettier she is, the more people will feel jealous, so the more likely you will be to have a problem. Jealousy is one of the uglier facets of human nature.[/quote]

THis is true. They will check her out and then look back at you to measure you up.

I call the it the Kal neun look because guys look like they are staring knife/daggers at you. I went to a new club in CHungdam the other week that was invite only. I only went because my gf invited me with an extra ticket. I was the only foreign guy in the place other than 2 russian girls with some older salary men types. The ice daggers I was getting actually made me want to leave after a short time. The place was full of fresh salary men (late twenties/early thirties) that were on the hunt for trophy wife prospects. The dwenjang nyeo were similarly looking for future samsung exec husband material. We eventually left because for my gf the dirty looks were getting a bit annoying.

[UknowsI]

Worrying wont make it any better, so try not to think about it. Actually, the more you think about it the more likely it is that you'll notice something to complain about. I've had a couple of unpleasant experiences, but it wasn't anything I would consider serious, just unpleasant.

[kimchi girl]

I will disagree to an extent, in that I have had friends who have had issues with cab drivers. Cabbies definitely feel free to make comments.

And the level of animosity will rise if you have any public displays of affection. Because in this country, spitting, barfing all over the place is OK, but kissing someone, especially of a different culture, is deemed wrong and offensive.

[Moldy Rutabaga]

There are the occasional horror stories on this forum, and I have co-workers who were attacked. But I think if you are subtle and try to avoid get-a-room behavior in public the probability of physical danger is increasingly minimal. I have had only two ugly incidents, and the worst took place at a train station where a drunk ajoshi had to be thrown out by security after hassling me and my fiance. Train stations and subways seem to attract drunk old men, and these people are best avoided.

I am older and if you and your GF are a little older that helps.

[neilsputnik]

Thanks for the responses.

I am not overly worried about the negative stuff. Just looking to get a more well rounded picture.

So no public displays of affection? I kind of figured this one out when in the early stages of our courtship, I kissed my girlfriend in public for the first time and she went bright red! lol. It was very endearing. I subsequently made this a running joke to both of our amusement. Might put this particular joke away whilst in Korean though.

However, even in NZ (Auckland), a supposed multicultural society (and city), I have been utterly mortified at people occasionally (usually drunk youth driving by in cars) yelling anti-asian slurs toward my girlfriend.

Cheers.

[flakfizer]

I can only answer the OP from the perspective of a Seoulite. Don't worry about too much trouble in Seoul. I've been living in Seoul with my Korean wife for the past 10 years and have rarely even heard a disparaging remark. I think if you have kids, though, people tend to focus on them and not the couple. There might be a few ignorant remarks or questions thrown at the Korean in the relationship, but nothing that can't be ignored or patiently addressed. Here is a two-year old article that mentions how Koreans feel about interracial relationships. http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2007/09/06/2007090661019.html
Whether you're in an interracial relationship or not, it's always wise to be cautious as a foreigner here and avoid certain situations. But don't come here primed to expect the worst from the locals or you will start to see racist motives where they don't exist.

[Dimitris Stylianos]

If your post is missing from here, consider yourself warned against attacking other users (or quoting attacks).


For the Mod Team,


DS

[ashland]

[shaunew]

I have been married for four years and have two kids, Koreans just stare or ask questions the women usually state that my wife is lucky to marry a foreigner. Back in 2004 when we were dating we had a few problems, mostly just drunks and uneducated Koreans.