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GoldMember
Joined: 24 Oct 2006
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mateomiguel
Joined: 16 May 2005
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 Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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I've found that what one person says of Korean etiquette doesn't work for everyone. Lots of people seem to have different ideas of what Korean etiquette is, but they do all have one absolute baseline in common: foreigners can't do it right.
Looking foreign is a breach of Korean etiquette. Trying to make up for your foreignness by doing the rest of Korean etiquette correctly is putting yourself in an eternal apology loop where you spend your entire life saying sorry for the fact of your existence. I'll pass thanks  |
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Cerberus
Joined: 29 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:15 am Post subject: |
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| mateomiguel wrote: |
| Looking foreign is a breach of Korean etiquette. Trying to make up for your foreignness by doing the rest of Korean etiquette correctly is putting yourself in an eternal apology loop where you spend your entire life saying sorry for the fact of your existence. I'll pass thanks |
BWA=HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
that made me ROFLMAO.
that said, I disagree with you. Koreans around me have appreciated my clumsy attempts at it. I'm more than happy to play their culture game so long as I'm not being anally penetratred by it (e.g. hierarchy crap, etc)
as soon I even sense that it's going to be used to my disadvantage, I happily revert to my "I'm not Korean and have no intent to be one" mode.
which Koreans understand perfectly 
in fairness, I never attempt to use "korean culture" to my advantage either... actually I can't really think of a situatiuon where it WOULD work to my so called "advantage". |
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PigeonFart
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 3:58 am Post subject: |
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There are only 2 korean rules that i adhere to:
I do that crossing of the hands thing, and i don't blow my nose in public. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| What would one learn from attending this? I can't imagine it would be anything I don't already know, like being submissive to elders, bowing rules, etc. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:33 am Post subject: |
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| mateomiguel wrote: |
I've found that what one person says of Korean etiquette doesn't work for everyone. Lots of people seem to have different ideas of what Korean etiquette is, but they do all have one absolute baseline in common: foreigners can't do it right.
Looking foreign is a breach of Korean etiquette. Trying to make up for your foreignness by doing the rest of Korean etiquette correctly is putting yourself in an eternal apology loop where you spend your entire life saying sorry for the fact of your existence. I'll pass thanks |
While this is funny it is also completely false....but it was good for a chuckle. |
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Cerberus
Joined: 29 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:08 am Post subject: |
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it's super easy to figure out which concept of Korean "culture" to apply or not.
bow? sure, no prob
waiting for oldest/highest to start eating/etc - sure why not.. who cares?
accepting or tolerating insulting or rude behavior from someone because they're older? - NO way.
waiting to leave workplace until senior/oldest does? - NO, thank you.
pouring oldest/highest soju ? sure, why not?
getting sloppy drunk because everyone else is? - no thank you.
going to climb mountain once/for the first time? sure - it'd be rude to refuse what is probably a heartfelt invitation.
going to climb mountain regularly because that's what he/she wants to do and you don't? - NO, thank you.
going to a boys night out at noreabang? sure, once a in a while.. why not?
drinking and getting stupid at norebang? no prob.. what happens at the norebang stays at the norebang.
dry hymping other men during dancing to a song at norebang? - no thank you, regardless of the what happens at norebang, stays at norebang rule.
etc. etc. etc. etc. |
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mateomiguel
Joined: 16 May 2005
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| Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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but Cerberus, everybody's answers to these cultural questions are going to be slightly different. For instance, I agree with you on most points but I refuse to bow to anyone as well. Also I've chosen to work late at the office many times. Basically, everybody has to make up their own minds about each issue, which is part of the experience of living abroad.
The only way to have good etiquette, though, is to comply with everything. And I don't think thats possible for any foreigner, unless the culture you are adopting is so totally awesome that you can't resist, like if you're trying to fit in with the Na'vi. But Korea is no Pandora. |
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Julius
Joined: 27 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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| mateomiguel wrote: |
| I refuse to bow to anyone as well.. |
Being a little extreme aren't we?
The bow (or rather head nod) is a basic acknowledgement of this society. Like a smile or a wave, nothing more.
Why do you "refuse" to do it? Its just a common greeting. It doesn't have the same meaning as it might in the west. |
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mateomiguel
Joined: 16 May 2005
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| Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not exactly sure why. I just can't bring myself to do it. A smile and and handshake or a wave are enough for me. |
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Cerberus
Joined: 29 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| mateomiguel wrote: |
but Cerberus, everybody's answers to these cultural questions are going to be slightly different. For instance, I agree with you on most points but I refuse to bow to anyone as well. Also I've chosen to work late at the office many times. Basically, everybody has to make up their own minds about each issue, which is part of the experience of living abroad.
The only way to have good etiquette, though, is to comply with everything. And I don't think thats possible for any foreigner, unless the culture you are adopting is so totally awesome that you can't resist, like if you're trying to fit in with the Na'vi. But Korea is no Pandora. |
of course, we all make individual decisions based on our personal circumstances.
Personally, I think your stance on bowing is counter-productive. but your mileage may vary. I completely agree with Julius. It's merely the local way of saying hi, or waving.
I'm happy to go thru all the social niceties, up the the point where I'm expected to take someone's crap, or defer on something of importance or personal matters because of "korean culture".
It's a line easily drawn. For me, anyways.
I haven't really had anyone pull the age/hierarchy trick on me yet. I'm kind of bummed out about it because it wouild give me great pleasure to tell them what I think of hierarchies based on age.
but wait.. I've done that already, pre-emptively ... which is perhaps why no one has tried it.
My favorite tidbit is saying to a grizzled adjosshi/adjumma.
"remember that really stupid kid in one of your high school classes? what makes you think they are wise now? Odds say they're not. Now they're merely old AND stupid.. probably with stupid children to boot". |
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lille
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:53 am Post subject: |
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| oh man, i hope they'll teach us how to hock really great loogies on the subway. |
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djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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