Korean Job Discussion Forums

You · Joined: 31 May 2009

Has anyone else noticed that Korean guys will seem really interested in you one day, then the next day go cold and then come back and seem really interested in you again another day and so on?

Is this a cultural thing? It keeps happening to me where they go hot and cold and then hot again. Ive been trying to figure out what it means/why it happens. Maybe we could get some insight from someone dating/married to a Korean guy.

Hightop · Joined: 11 Jun 2003

Maybe he is into you when his gf is busy.

spaceman82 · Joined: 01 Dec 2009

There's a Korean expression for this, but I can't remember what it is (possibly something about fishing?). In any case, it's a fairly popular expression because it apparently represents how the dating game works here, with a lot of hot and cold tension to keep both people in the relationship on their toes. I'm a guy, so I can't give you much more information than that - but I wanted to let you know that, from my understanding, it's not just you.

mayorgc · Joined: 19 Oct 2008

If he's not borderline stalking you, he's probably not interested.

spaceman82 · Joined: 01 Dec 2009

"밀고당기기" ("push and then pull") is what it is...

redaxe · Joined: 01 Dec 2008

madtownhustl · Joined: 04 Jun 2009

I suggest you kids keep it clean or this thread will get deleted... oh wait, nevermind, its about korean DUDES.

You · Joined: 31 May 2009

Thanks for the insight. I'm glad it's not just me, haha.

Freeghen · Joined: 01 Oct 2009

I'm engaged to a Korean guy and it sounds to me like he has some other girls he might be seeing too.
I don't really think the particular behavior that you are mentioning is a 'Korean guy' thing, but just a 'he's not that into you' thing.
Just move along and find someone else that is better for you. Like someone above posted - if he's not borderline stalking you then he's not all that interested or just keeping you around in the hopes that he might get lucky later.

bassexpander · Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Location: Someplace you'd rather be.

^ This

I adopted a policy when dating Korean women. When it seemed more serious, If she wasn't prepared to spend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with me with me over 2 consecutive weekends, then she was suspect.

You · Joined: 31 May 2009

To be more specific to clear things up: I'm not seeking a relationship, so it's not a casual dating type of situation. I just know these guys as friends because we all hang out together in a big group.

Hightop · Joined: 11 Jun 2003

ms.catbc · Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Location: Ilsan

1. Very busy working crazy hours
2. has a few girls lined up
3. they are just your friends

I don't really know what your situation is but be straight up. It is a different approach but you know what...life is too short to play around or be played around with.

If he is into you, you WILL know trust me. Men here are not afraid to go all out on the romance stuff when they dig a girl.

bassexpander · Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Location: Someplace you'd rather be.

ms.catbc · Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Location: Ilsan

oh and casual dating here is not the same as back home.

Unfortunatley a lot of men here (but not all of COURSE...this is just based on some experience and experiences of others) will lose respect for a woman who is into casual dating. Casual dating means getting laid a few times until he finds a suitable girl to bring home to mama. It has little potential to turn into anything more serious later on.

There is so much pressure on both men and women to get married by the time you hit 30. Casual dating is considered a waste of time.

At the same time, if your definition of casual relationships means casual sex you will have no problem with that. Decode the text messages that say "i love you so much" as "i had fun", don't get too attached and you will be good to go.