Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fromtheuk]

I was talking to a fellow American teacher the other day. It was virtually a one-way conversation. He wanted to just talk and talk.

Anyway, we kind of parted company and then met again near the elevator. Once more he was going on and on and on.

So, I started to drop some polite hints that it was time to end the conversation. When somebody says, 'Well, I think I'd better go now' etc. it means the conversation is going to end soon.

I eventually managed to get away and that was it.

I am not saying all Americans are like this at all.

In fact, I've met a few here who don't talk forever.

I think it was because this guy was older and also liked to talk. The thing is he didn't seem to realize he was becoming tiresome.

If the conversation didn't end, it felt like drastic measures would be required i.e. please shut up now and let me leave.

Have you met people who seem to lack self-awareness in communication?

Tell us about them.

[rocket_scientist]

[DorkothyParker]

I lack self-awareness in communication.

I have difficulty knowing when to stop talking. I do understand when other people say they need to go. But unless I actually HAVE somewhere to be, I don't know how to end a conversation. Like just turn away from them? I am clueless.

I'm not necessarily or even mostly a talker. In fact, I would be happy just listening most of the time. This worked really well back home as all my coworkers had all kinds of drama they liked to dish to me. I find most Euro types are fairly quiet. I don't like that. I like big talkers. I tend to go to extremes either running my mouth like a motor or not saying much of anything.

I understand from the talkers view, though, that it would seem weird to be in an elevator not talking to someone you had just been talking to. I hate when you say goodbye to someone at a crosswalk and they end up going the same direction as you. So awkward!

[robot]

It's not too hard, Dorkothy.

Just keep the conversation around a 50-50 split. If the other person is giving one-word answers or the like, he's probably bored. Body language is a pretty clear indicator, as well.

[SeoulMan99]

Yeah, Nationality doesn't have much to do with this. Brit, Yank, Canuck..some are extroverted, some are introverted. Anyways, yeah I know someone like this. You talk to her and there never seems to be a break in the conversation to where you can drop a hint that it's time to wrap it up. Some people just don't have social awareness. Is this guy always this way, or was he just overly excited? If I'm in a really good mood I can be rather talkative.

[Kwangjuchicken]

[VanIslander]

"properly"

You Brits sure like to be proper.

[Senior]

Eeeeshhh. I can be exceedingly rude in these sorts of situations. I absolutely loath talking for the sake of talking. I would rather sit in silence than talk about cats or the weather or any of the other inane topics that seem to comprise 75% of everyday human interaction.

This could be why I don't have any friends. Oh well, at least I have Dave's.

[Bloopity Bloop]

What was even the point of bringing nationality into this?

[Kaypea]

I think you've gotta accommodate your co-worker talking to you a lot. How many other English-speaking people are there where you work? He may just be starved for English coversation, or maybe he always likes to wear out a new acquaintance with lots of talk... it's like playing with a new toy when you're a little kid, and eventually you get bored of it. Sometimes new aquaintences are like this, to some people.

There's a chance you may become good friends with this guy. I find that the sort of people who tend to irritate me with endless chatter, and who don't pick up on my "I'm bored" cues are the ONLY people who can actually stay friends with me But, I know... the initiation stage of such friendships is a bit gruelling, until you get used to the person and actually start to like them (after a few months). It takes a while for me to warm up to almost anyone.

In the meantime, with Yankee Yakker... just minimize your outside-of-work contact until the if-or-when point you actually like him. Invent a girlfriend/ wife you always have to be home to have Skype-dates with.

[Draz]