Korean Job Discussion Forums

sheba · Joined: 16 May 2005 Location: Here there and everywhere!

So basically, I get the feeling my coteacher would rather eat splinters than have anything to do with me. She does only what is required of her when it comes to interacting with me... She puts a lot of pressure on me to be a 'good teacher' because other teachers are 'judging us', but she speaks to me like Im a child. When it comes to planning, she basically tells me how she runs her lessons and there is no compromise, her way or the highway... She freaked out when I said I didnt have any resources (excuse me for being first year in PS and being a couple years out of teaching kids)... At social events she completely ignores me, so I have no one to talk to seeing as the other teachers cant speak english or are too shy to even try. (I have tried to engage them in simple conversation!). Ive already been compared to the last teacher, and told what I should or shouldnt do because of him. My coteacher certainly doesnt help me with anything, school-wise or personal.... just seems to have a general bad attitude towards me, possibly resentment...? Im only 2 weeks in and worried about spending the rest of the year with her... Any advice??

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

Cry in a dark corner

andrewchon · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:59 am Post subject: Re: Coteacher with an attitude...

Welsh Canadian · Joined: 03 Mar 2010

sheba · Joined: 16 May 2005 Location: Here there and everywhere!

Olivencia · Joined: 08 Mar 2009

Don't take any guff from her. Lay down the law.

Welsh Canadian · Joined: 03 Mar 2010

andrewchon · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:11 pm Post subject:

OP: You are in a Confucionist society. In it, rituals are important.
Now, is she older than you? If she is then give her the respect she expects for being born in the years before you. e.g. you 1985 and her 1984 then she is your 'senior' no matter what. If you have seniority by age over her then tell her to stop being rude. People will, in general, wants to be good but will go on with not-so-good until told what is 'good' way to behave. That, I think is from Analects IX.

I read from elsewhere that you're working on lesson plans.
If she has seniority: Do it her way. Almost certainly she'll tell you that your lesson plans are wrong, even if if there are perfectly done to her liking. That's the ritual part. Take them back and then re-submit with nothing changed.
If you have seniority and have established who is the 'Oya' between you two, then do them your way. She is your junior, an underling who is there to serve you.

All of the above are in case if you want to play the Confucius games.

Olivencia · Joined: 08 Mar 2009

andrew doesn't all that mean nothing when dealing with a foreigner? that is, even if the co-teacher is younger the fact that the op is a foreigner the rules you described don't apply. i often found that to be the case.

nomad-ish · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:34 pm Post subject:

i would bring in some pastries or some goodies in the morning for the office (are you in a small office or the main teacher office with her?). it's only been two weeks, it's going to take some time for her to get to know you and for you to show her that you care about teaching the students.

it may be stressful to think she resents you right now, but it's too soon to worry about completing the year with her.

Fishead soup · Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Location: Korea

Here's what you do

Lesson plans- Chances are the Principal or Vice Principal is giving her a hard time about your lesson plans. Most VP and P can't read writen English and wouldn't understand your lessons. They have a problem with them because they look different to the other Korean teachers lesson plans. Get her to give you a copy of the template for the kind of lesson plan she wants. You just fill in what needs to be written. VP puts a stamp of it problem solved.

Co-teaching- Meet with her prior to teaching and decide how you intend to teach. Come to meeting armed with handouts that are similar to whatever dialogue she is working with in the textbook.

Dress smart. Shave. If someone brings you a little gift find out who brought it and return the favor.

Olivencia · Joined: 08 Mar 2009

I wouldn't pansy up with the co-teacher. She was very rude with you to begin with. You be nice the thinking here (like everywhere pretty much) would be taken as a sign of weakness. Go in heavyhanded and pull no punches.

rabidcake · Joined: 10 Aug 2009

So... Is she ugly?

Zulethe · Joined: 04 Jul 2008

Of all the psychological strategies that I employ in my life (I've got a Masters and I was a counselor and I have many) one of the most powerful one is the fact that you have the power to choose or not to choose whether or not she actually exists.

It's very hard, trust me and it takes a lot of practice, but the negative energy that your wasting on her is draining you.

Don't ever think about her....EVER...Whenever you think about her, she wins. The technical term is called thought stopping. Whenever a thought about her enters your mind, yell STOP and change your thought.

During class, think of it as if you are watching a movie and she's just another character in the show. She's not a real person. As soon as class is over, turn off the channel and she doesn't exist.

ThingsComeAround · Joined: 07 Nov 2008

Ha-

I read the OP with a mist growing in my eye.
Are you in Goyang? I had a coteacher with the same exact problems as yours (she teaches in Deogyang). She couldn't accept my plan as is, there was always some nit-picking and micromanagement "just because" she could. As Zulethe said, I put her out of mind at work, yet there was always a way she would interrupt something and piss me off.

Funny thing is, another teacher at my school talks to her even now, and said that her new co-teach "doesn't care about the students" whatever the hell that means. I guess you could buy candy for all the kids everyday, that may shut her up Laughing