Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Zulethe]

After a year and a half here, I've decided that enough is enough. I'm tired of meaningless, artificial relationships with Koreans and the other foreingers I've met alike.

As much as I've processed this, I can't seem to grasp the reason why developing a close friendship with a Korean is impossible.

Before you newbs fire aware with your tear jerking story about all of the close Korean friends you have, give it a couple of years!

The foreinger friends you meet are also for the most part superficial. It's kinda like a Friday night bar friend you meet, chat with for a while, and then never see him again.

My students will not miss me. As soon as the next teacher arrives, my time here will be lost forever.

I need meaning in my life and real friendship. It's time for this man to fly.

ps I'll still be here for six months so we still have some time

[djsmnc]

Sucks to hear you have a hard time making friends!

[ttompatz]

[sheba]

I have to both agree and disagree with you...

There are good friendships to be made with Koreans, it may not be common or as easy but it is still as rewarding as any other close friendship. However, I have to say that there have been a lot of Korean people I considered friends who turned around and used me or dropped me altogether without a bat of an eyelid.

As for foreigners... we kind of make friends out of neccesity, so we end up being friends with people we would never socialise with back home. not that they are bad people, but just different interests, outlooks on life, experiences etc. Its harder to become close in this kind of situation I think... But I have also made some real friends in korea...

That being said, of all the Koreans and foreigners Ive met and socialised with, I could count who I consider to be 'real' friends on only one hand.

[Janny]

Zulethe...I understand completely...I too feel my life is "on hold" while here in Korea. The first few years were OK. Got married and that was a good time. But now that things have passed, I feel I should be doing way more with my life than teaching at a hagwon and watching my friends leave all the time.

I'm leaving in July. But it'll be the THIRD time I've left Korea, only to come back.

I do feel much stronger this time and I don't have any marital issues tying me down. I see myself in Hong Kong or Japan by the end of the year, unless I find a teaching job in Canada (unlikely).

Good luck to you, good luck to all of us.

[Aelric]

I agree with your analogy, though not all your sentiments. I've had little trouble weeding out the fellow foreigners that are worth knowing, making a rather small but very tight circle of friends that slowly grows. And in this circle are a few Koreans, though admittedly they are all girls, who do seem more open to being close friends than Korean men are. Perhaps the Koreans you know are older, but if you hang out with the folks in their early 20's than you may find a K friend worth having.

What I agree with you on is the sense of Limbo. Even with all the crappy parts, this really is a charmed life over here, like it's artificial and not moving forward, especially if you have career plans not in education. The future seems like a distant door that is either rushing towards us too fast or never gonna come, depending on the mood. Basically, Korea is high school all over again. That is why I'm leaving, around the same time as you, though I am gonna spend the winter in Thailand before rejoining the real word.

[caniff]

Korea can trigger manic depression - even if like me you've never before had those tendencies.

I like Korea for the most part, but still I realize the country could use a sofa (not orange pleather) and decades of intensive therapy.

[Rory_Calhoun27]

a quote from THE LOST BOYS comes to mind:

Grandpa: One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.


One thing about living in Korea I could never stomach, were all the axis II personality disorders from the West... and the East...

[nautilus]

[crescent]

Wow, a year and a half in, and you think you can exclude yourself from the noob category?

Tear jerker:
I've been here 8 years with a few gaps here and there, and I have fantastic longstanding friendships with both Koreans and foreigners.
My Korean friends have cooked home meals in their houses for me, introduced me to their families and friends, set me up on dates, helped me make more money, taken me on trips, and thrown birthday parties for me.
They have treated me with utmost respect since day one and I can depend on them for anything.

The foreigner side is much harder, because like you, most are only in country for 2 years.

[Unposter]

I have had my fair share of superficial and temporary friendships in Korea; I have also had a surpring few great relationships with both Koreans, male and female, as well as Westerners.

Some of it is luck and chance, no doubt, but some of it is just having the right personality to flourish in Korea. And, there is no crime if you don't and there is no crime if you do. To me, it is just reality. Some people like the expat lifestyle, click with other expats and some people like Korea and click with Koreans and others don't.

And, you read about it here all the time. Person A has had nothing but groovy experiences in Korea and cannot understand why Person B is miserable. Person B hates everything and cannot understand who put the prozac person A's cereal.

Well, guess what? Person A cannot be a Person B any more than you can put a square peg in a round hole and vice-versa. And, person A and person B can shout and argue all they want on Dave's and it isn't going to make much difference.

And, there are a lot more people teaching English than just person A and person B. There is a whole alphabet and even rainbow of people here, each having different experiences, each with different desires and each with different ambitions. Some people find what they are looking for in Korea and others just don't...okay, many don't but some do. So what?

But, there person who said that it is easy to get manic-depressive in Korea is probably right on. There are plenty of highs and lows in Korea. Some people ride the waves, some people sink and others get out of the water. Welcome to life...

But, thank goodness people broadcast every feeling they have popping in their head like it was Jerry Springer because otherwise Dave's would be far too borring to visit.

[jiberish]

My co-teacher hates our company management. She was even offered a better job but she won't leave unless I go with her. Impossible to make a relationship? I don't think so.

Don't generalise your experiances as the standard.

Sure there a fakes. But there are fake people everywhere in the world. Just don't talk to them.

I like other peoples responses too. Well said. However I think learning to speak the language greatly increases your chances of finding true friends with the same interests.

[Zulethe]

[Zulethe]

[Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida]

This sounds suspiciously like a regret.