Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Gollum]

I have this girl in one of my high school classes named Chung Eun. She appears to have no friends, and is so shy she won't even look up. She is the pudgy little girl that others might poke fun at because of her shyness -- I've never seen her talk to anyone at all (even in Korean). No one sits by her, and therefore she never has a parter for exercises. I've tried to be her partner, but she won't even look at me, and is obviously scared to death.

When I first saw her, I didn't see her for what she was (painfully shy), and was trying to get her to speak, but to no avail. She wouldn't even give me her name. She never has. After class, I got her name from one of the other students. I then looked up her scores to see that she is at or near the absolute bottom in every subject. She is at the bottom of all 2nd year (Junior) students in English.

With about 300 other students I could worry about, I should probably move on and not bother. Still, I feel really sorry for her and wish I could at least make her smile. It goes beyond teaching English. I feel sad that this girl doesn't even seem to have a friend.

One thing about teaching high school I wasn't prepared for -- girls like Chung Eun. Not because of teaching reasons, but because of human reasons, I guess.

I can't be the one to do it, for more reasons than I can count (plus it would freak her out), but I hope some relative hugs her at night and at least makes her feel loved.

Any suggestions?

Maybe I'm just speaking out about someone I can't do a thing for, and the only answer is, "Don't worry about it."

[Mashimaro]

I feel sorry for the kids who are really unpopular.. let me rephrase that, I feel sorry for the kids who are really unpopular and really unhappy..

I had one sweet little elementary schol girl who told me how much she was teased at school.. It made me so angry, but like the OP I couldn't see that I could do anything about it..

Kids are cruel sometimes, another reason I'd rather teacher Uni or adults if possible (they are not perfect of course, but by they that age they should have learnt to be civil most of the time)

[kangnamdragon]

sounds like you have a good heart....

[Mr. Pink]

You could ask her homeroom teacher if she has problems at home.

If you really want to help her, I think it is possible...reach out to her after classes, or tell her you wish to see her after the last period is over.

You don't have to hug her or do something else that will freak her out, but I bet ya a 12 pack, if you reach out to that kid and give her some personal attention, it WILL pay off.

I had a girl student who always seemed sad and depressed. I tried my hardest to encourage her and keep her smiling. She made it through high school and is WAY happier now...

Think of it as something that has longterm effects.

[Gollum]

Yeah, I'm going to track down her homeroom teacher, and HOPE that teacher can speak some English to me.

There's another girl who is into self-mutilation. I'm not joking about this -- I was disturbed. I was in my 3rd day, and covering for a sick teacher in a class of about 60.

This student picks at the soft skin just where her fingernails start growing out. She picks away, curling the skin back, and all were bloody. Dripping bloody. I told her she should go to the "sick room" upstairs and get some bandages or something, but she didn't want to go. There was dried blood on all of her fingers, smeared on the table, and stained in areas on her shirt.

Disgusting and disturbing. But she just kept picking away at all five digits, and wouldn't stop. Made me worried that I was the cause for freaking her out so much... I'm literally the first foreigner many of these girls have met, and some are really shy/scared at first.

I should have gotten her name, but the class was massive and I was darned busy. Still trying to find that girl and tell her homeroom teacher that I think she's got some major problems, however i'd hope someone else notices and says something to her parents. Kids like that are often mistreated at home, anyway -- perhaps pushed to the limit and told they are worthless, etc.

[Harpeau]

Sounds like they could really use a counselor at the school. Some of the students might benefit from it. You might want to ask the home room teacher about that~ even if the therapist is from outside the school. The teacher could always mention it to their parents.

Cheers!

[Psy]

Looks like Social Anxiety Disorder. Have a psychiatrist prescribe Zoloft for her.[/url]

[danyuk]

Easy: Wait for the worst kid in the class to be naughty, single him out and make him (usually is a 'him') sit where the girl was sitting on his own. Then do some clever rearranging so that she has moved and is sitting next to a pleasantish female. Prob solved.

[waggo]

Interesting problem Gollum and good on you for taking an interest.I was full of answers for you until you mentioned her grades are bad across the board.

Post on developments.

[schwa]

I've had kids in my middleschool classes with Down syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, & major physical disabilities. They sit by themselves & cant really participate in class but they at least also have regular access to special ed teachers, some of whom are well-trained & caring. Over time I've coaxed a few shy english responses from each of these students, to applause from the other kids & to their own delight.

Psychological problems are dicier. Basically, the homeroom teacher is also counsellor, psychiatrist, & often de facto parent figure for the more troubled students. With very little practical training they're basically charged with their students' mental & emotional well-being. This can include home interventions, family mediation, late-night & weekend calls, & in fact they are often the first person phoned if a student gets in trouble with police. Its a big stress for homeroom teachers but accepted all around as the way things have always been done.

Referral to a shrink or therapist just isnt on, at least in my town. In fact, for a population of 100,000, there are no practicing psychiatrists or psychologists. Theres a serious stigma attached to reaching out for professional help. I've even had teachers in conversation classes talking suicide & undergoing what I'd call a nervous breakdown, but somehow we've gotten it talked through over time.

Student suicide stats are alarming (a girl in my school a couple years ago jumped to her death from her 4th-floor classroom window) but in fact I'm surprised those stats arent off the map. Its a tough environment.

By all means reach out to a disturbed student with any little act of kindness. It could make all the difference.

[Gwangjuboy]

I recently read an article in "The economist" about mental health in Korea. It was a damning report of Asian countries in general, but Korea was singled out for some particuarly harsh criticism. The Korean word for shrink is "jung sin koa" (If my memory serves correct), and there aren't many around. Even in the big cities. Indeed, even those Korean doctors who choose to practice in that branch of medicine are frowned upon by their peers.

[rapier]

Koreans are pretty harsh on the "wangtah" or least popular person... they seem to have little sympathy for the one left behind... they fear solitude and see it as wierd and scary, thus, they project this onto the wangtah...
I even noticed the korean teachers seem to pick on the shyest student.
All i can say is, always project strength when you're around Koreans... they'll take advantage of any chink in your armour. Pathetic.

[katydid]

Wow. I am now at a girls' middle school, and I know if I look closely enough, and pay attention, I'm sure I'm going to hear about a lot of horrible things going on with my students.
Middle school girls...man I remember being in their shoes and how awkward everything was back then, and how I felt no one cared about me, and how I didn't know what to do with myself.
I guess it's especially hard here cause students are supposed to be average. If you are slow or have a physical disability or are poor you're a target. If you are overly pretty, rich or really smart in that seemingly apple polishing way, you're a target. It's not even been a month, but already there are some girls I feel super-protective of because either they are super nerds or there is something noticeably not quite right with them.
I know I have been told that our classes at least, are the only bright spots these kids get once a week. I'm not sure how often you see these kids, but a nice gesture will certainly go a long way for her, I'm sure. I'd imagine treating this situation would be just like back home: don't be too overt in your attention and don't jump to the kid's defense all the time, unless you think they really need it (cause that'll certainly make her case with her peers worse), but somehow let her know she is welcome to talk with you, give her some kind of candy or small thing on the sly. And be patient with her. She may warm up to you. Also, I do think it's a good idea to ask her homeroom teacher for help, but there may be little she can actually do.
Schwa, where are you that they have special ed classes in Korea? I thought that was a big taboo here, as I said, being in the middle and not sticking out for any reason is the best way to get by in middle school here.

[Homer]

You are doing a good thing here.

Congrats tyo you for caring so much...thats a rare quality in a Teacher nowadays.

You could ask the homeroom teacher (as it has been suggested) if the girl would mind some extra help or lessons after class to get her more confortable.

[schwa]

katydid,

I think you'll find special ed programs are system-wide. Theres a push to integrate special-needs kids who arent otherwise disruptive. They spend a portion of time with specially trained teachers (1 per 3 or 4 students) & a certain amount of time in regular classes. One girl in my school cant maneuver stairs so a new classroom was created on the first floor to accommodate her (& the rest of her ordinary class).

The younger special ed teachers I've met are great -- devoted & highly trained. The system has been around for a while but some of the older teachers went into it out of laziness -- slack hours, extra promotion points, & a 10-hour(!) course was once sufficient to qualify. Much more stringent & more on the right track now I think.

I'm pleased to note the 2nd unit in our 2nd-year middleschool english text this year is about students with disabilities, centered around a hard-of-hearing girl who has a helper accompany her in class. Wangta still exists, but I'm seeing some genuine sympathy from students towards classmates with congenital disadvantages.