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The Power of "No"
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Who's Your Daddy?



Joined: 30 May 2010
Location: Victoria, Canada.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:27 pm    Post subject: The Power of "No" Reply with quote

I read to many posts that go as follows:
- my school is making me...
- my school isn't paying me...

Grow a pair and say "no." If you want to be nice say, "no, sorry." Or "Sorry, but no." But learn the power of No. Don't get into long discussions where bosses try to con you, just say no.

People working that haven't been paid?

I've said no probably in every job I've had in Korea. I've never been fired, and always been offered renewal. Korean bosses will push until you say "no", that's how it works. They expect you to say no at some point, and if you don't they loose respect for you.

Well that's what I'm saying. Be an adult!
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Senior



Joined: 31 Jan 2010

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:32 pm    Post subject: Re: The Power of "No" Reply with quote

Who's Your Daddy? wrote:
They expect you to say no at some point, and if you don't they loose respect for you.



I LOSE respect for people who don't know how to use the words LOSE and LOOSE, properly.

Other than that I agree with your post.
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jizza



Joined: 24 Aug 2009

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He meant their respect will be less rigid for you, like their respect level can be more flexible. "To loosen your respect for someone."
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PastorYoon



Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Location: Sea of Japan

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jizza wrote:
He meant their respect will be less rigid for you, like their respect level can be more flexible. "To loosen your respect for someone."


Creative, funny, and dumb all at once! I like that. I'm just playing.

I liked it.

This is what I thought of your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LU4BBVAVZk
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Seoulio



Joined: 02 Jan 2010

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:24 pm    Post subject: Re: The Power of "No" Reply with quote

Who's Your Daddy? wrote:
I read to many posts that go as follows:
- my school is making me...
- my school isn't paying me...

Grow a pair and say "no." If you want to be nice say, "no, sorry." Or "Sorry, but no." But learn the power of No. Don't get into long discussions where bosses try to con you, just say no.

People working that haven't been paid?

I've said no probably in every job I've had in Korea. I've never been fired, and always been offered renewal. Korean bosses will push until you say "no", that's how it works. They expect you to say no at some point, and if you don't they loose respect for you.



Well that's what I'm saying. Be an adult!





ah naivity, isn't it fabulous?


Last edited by Seoulio on Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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recessiontime



Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I too failed in the fast by not realizing the power of no...

if you give the k's an inch they will go a mile.
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tanklor1



Joined: 13 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saying an outright "no" isn't the answer. Too strong and agressive. (Been there lesson learned. Laughing )

Now, passively agreeing and passively ignoring are things done on both sides of the fence.

You're still playing baseball: the game over here is more like cricket.
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Senior



Joined: 31 Jan 2010

PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tanklor1 wrote:
Saying an outright "no" isn't the answer. Too strong and agressive. (Been there lesson learned. Laughing )

Now, passively agreeing and passively ignoring are things done on both sides of the fence.

You're still playing baseball: the game over here is more like cricket.


Really it depends on the situation. Both techniques work for me, and I'm sure there are other techniques. (I tend to act really sad and down when I don't get what I want). You just have to be wise about when you use which tool.
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ontheway



Joined: 24 Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Senior wrote:
tanklor1 wrote:
Saying an outright "no" isn't the answer. Too strong and agressive. (Been there lesson learned. Laughing )

Now, passively agreeing and passively ignoring are things done on both sides of the fence.

You're still playing baseball: the game over here is more like cricket.


Really it depends on the situation. Both techniques work for me, and I'm sure there are other techniques. (I tend to act really sad and down when I don't get what I want). You just have to be wise about when you use which tool.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8o6Os0xQf8
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Netz



Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Location: a parallel universe where people and places seem to be the exact opposite of "normal"

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ontheway wrote:
Senior wrote:
tanklor1 wrote:
Saying an outright "no" isn't the answer. Too strong and agressive. (Been there lesson learned. Laughing )

Now, passively agreeing and passively ignoring are things done on both sides of the fence.

You're still playing baseball: the game over here is more like cricket.


Really it depends on the situation. Both techniques work for me, and I'm sure there are other techniques. (I tend to act really sad and down when I don't get what I want). You just have to be wise about when you use which tool.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8o6Os0xQf8



I'll take that bet, and raise you a youtube clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO3EiYD4ASw
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bobbybigfoot



Joined: 05 May 2007
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This post is far too simplistic, but it does touch upon an important topic: knowing your boundaries.

Koreans don't say "no" to their bosses. That's just not how it's done in Korea. People often assume Koreans have a dislike for foreigners and that they treat us completely different. But, in my experience, Koreans treat Koreans far worse. I've heard numerous accounts of Koreans working extra hours, extra days, extra workloads for ZERO extra money. At one hagwon, the foreigners would be paid extra for weekend workshops, but the Korean teachers had to do it for free AND work even longer hours AND have a lower salary AND get no apartment, no pension etc...

It's a different culture. Know your boundaries yes, but be diplomatic and realize that Koreans are not necessarily out to screw you, the waigookin.
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PastorYoon



Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Location: Sea of Japan

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But protect yourself so that you don't get screwed, at the same time.
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Dragoon



Joined: 18 Apr 2010

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first thing that came to my mind when I read the title of this thread was Huey Lewis' mid 1980's hit "The power of love" (you know the main song from the 1st Back to the Future).

Don't need money
Don't need fame
Don't need a credit card to ride this train...hell yeah
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garygoodbloke



Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Location: Sydney, Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone said that in Korea it's more like cricket, not baseball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcpwNpP0bHM&feature=related

On that video evidence I'm inclined to agree.

That aside, boundaries are massively important. And saying no gives a wonderful feeling.

Here's a good story about boundaries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxCaOzmV0LE
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Forward Observer



Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Location: FOB Gloria

PostPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PastorYoon wrote:
jizza wrote:
He meant their respect will be less rigid for you, like their respect level can be more flexible. "To loosen your respect for someone."


Creative, funny, and dumb all at once! I like that. I'm just playing.

I liked it.

This is what I thought of your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LU4BBVAVZk



No, no...no!

this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_T9YtA1mRQ&feature=related
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