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bobranger
Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Location: masan
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 5:41 am Post subject: How to save the US economy |
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Sometime this year, US taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day ! |
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cdninkorea

Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:27 am Post subject: |
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Overly simplistic to the point that it omits alot of important nuances. I can state how to save the economy with only two words, and it doesn't gloss over anything important: Ron Paul (okay, a few more: for president in 2012) |
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AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010 Location: Truck Stop Missouri
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:42 am Post subject: |
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I'm reading there isn't going to be another stimulus check this year. |
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pkang0202

Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:43 am Post subject: |
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Why the focus on the US? Almost every economist will agree that the US is in better shape than other Industrialized countries. The US economy does not need saving. |
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recessiontime

Joined: 21 Jun 2010 Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:58 am Post subject: |
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just buy guns and ammo or gold. |
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AmericanExile
Joined: 04 May 2009
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:59 am Post subject: |
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Gold is one of the worst investments there is. |
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eumyang
Joined: 01 Jan 2010
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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cdninkorea wrote: |
Overly simplistic to the point that it omits alot of important nuances. I can state how to save the economy with only two words, and it doesn't gloss over anything important: Ron Paul (okay, a few more: for president in 2012) |
While I don't disagree, isn't Paul close to 75? His age is a concern to me. (Maybe it shouldn't be but I can't help it.) OTOH in 2008 I wrote in his name on the presidential ballot.
OT: cdninkorea, who's the girl in your avatar?
음양 |
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ulsanchris
Joined: 19 Jun 2003 Location: take a wild guess
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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The US gets most of its oil from Canada these days. So keep filling your gas guzzling vehicles so we can continue extracting oil from the oil sands in very environmentally destroying ways (and stimulating the Canadian economy, well at least Alberta's economy.) |
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DeMayonnaise
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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ulsanchris wrote: |
The US gets most of its oil from Canada these days. So keep filling your gas guzzling vehicles so we can continue extracting oil from the oil sands in very environmentally destroying ways (and stimulating the Canadian economy, well at least Alberta's economy.) |
Well I'll be damned, we do get our oil from Canada ( http://www.eia.doe.gov/pub/oil_gas/petroleum/data_publications/company_level_imports/current/import.html )
On a side note,
Q: Is asking a question and then answering it yourself a really annoying way to communicate?
A: Yes. |
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machinoman
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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How to save the economy? Two words: tan m&m's. As we all know, tan m&m's were replaced with blue m&m's in 1995, sending the stock market rocketing upward. When the blue m&m bubble burst in 2007, the economy tanked. Solution? Simple. Bring back tan m&m's (and I am not talking about specially ordered tan m&m's on some website.) This will stabilize the economy and is as reliable as any other advice on how to stabilize the economy (read: 0% reliable) |
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Fox

Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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machinoman wrote: |
How to save the economy? Two words: tan m&m's. As we all know, tan m&m's were replaced with blue m&m's in 1995, sending the stock market rocketing upward. When the blue m&m bubble burst in 2007, the economy tanked. Solution? Simple. Bring back tan m&m's (and I am not talking about specially ordered tan m&m's on some website.) This will stabilize the economy and is as reliable as any other advice on how to stabilize the economy (read: 0% reliable) |
Pretty sure this suggestion has strong support among leading economists. With a taxpayer investment of just $500 billion, we can retrofit M&M production plants with the latest technology, ensuring high quality tan M&Ms are sufficiently availible to spur our economic recovery. Unfortunately, it will be a jobless recovery, and because we're giving so much money to Mars, we'll have to cancel all unemployment benefits. We all know people who need unemployment are just lazy individuals who could get a job anytime they wanted though, so very few people will be harmed by this. |
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Bloopity Bloop

Joined: 26 Apr 2009 Location: Seoul yo
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Seoulio

Joined: 02 Jan 2010
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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lol, the sad thing there is only one country to blame for America's current Economic state.
And that is America.
A combination or naivity, stupidity, greed, selfishness, and lack of intelligence, forseight or education allowed virtually every major industry to become foreign controlled.
America is not likely to stay on top without a major policy shift that is never going to happen. |
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bobranger
Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Location: masan
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:02 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: |
lol, the sad thing there is only one country to blame for America's current Economic state.
And that is America.
A combination or naivity, stupidity, greed, selfishness, and lack of intelligence, forseight or education allowed virtually every major industry to become foreign controlled.
America is not likely to stay on top without a major policy shift that is never going to happen. |
I agree |
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Seoulio

Joined: 02 Jan 2010
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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Then theres China, that floods our markets with wal-mart goods that we buy like fricking popcorn, and one of the major goods they take in return OIL! they use virtually none of the oil that they have in thier country. Within 50 years when we have A third world war over the impending oil shortage, China is going to be laughing its butt off with the worlds largest oild supply that it isn't going to share. And with nearly 2 billion people ( at least a fifth, if not a quarter of the global population) not much chance of stopping them at that point.
Bottom line is, witout a major policy shift, China becomes the dominant superpower by the end of the century.
course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong  |
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