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animalbirdfish
Joined: 04 Feb 2004
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:58 am Post subject: |
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I've found that being friends (even in a superficial, merely civil manner) is next to impossible after breaking up with k-girls. Not that they'll be nasty to you, but rather that you'll cease to exist, which if you work with that person is going to pretty darned awkward.
Having said that, I've nevertheless found Koreans to be quite amenable to office romances, sometimes even encouraging it. A couple years ago, my boss found out that I was w/o a girlfriend and tried to set me up with one of the Korean teachers, and this hasn't been an isolated incident. Still, like some above posters warned, Korean girls love to talk/gossip, so you might be wise to keep a few things to yourself (in everything that implies). |
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just because

Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:05 am Post subject: |
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I have had a couple....and the one I started 2 years ago I'm still having.
Don't listen to these guys, they are pretty bad when it comes to women I've noticed
Just take it slow...and if it doesn't work out don't make a big scene and give her some respect and dignity and it is Ok.
I had 3 before this one and neither of us quit because we broke up. Just act like a decent human and not a raving lunatic and you'll be fine. |
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Godzilla

Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:22 am Post subject: |
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| Mate.. you're obviously into her. If she feels the same then why not? Office romances can be tricky, but if you want more than just a shag then you'll regret not seeing where this leads. You're more likely to have a long-term relationship with a woman you've got to know rather than one you've picked up in a bar. |
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diver
Joined: 16 Jun 2003
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:29 am Post subject: |
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| Make sure you don't have one of those 'employee must not enter into relationships with students or staff' clauses in your contract. It could (but by no means certainly) provide your boss with a convenient reason to fire you just prior to the end of your contract to avoid paying you your bonuses, airfare, etc... |
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The Man known as The Man

Joined: 29 Mar 2003 Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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If she were a great girl, yeah. I worried about whatif scenarios when I was 14.
Awkwardness? Being a hardarse has its advantages.
But I never look for trouble. |
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Toby

Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Location: Wedded Bliss
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| If you do, keep it out of the office and quiet. Difficult but possible. Or simply don't do it. |
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batman

Joined: 24 Jan 2003 Location: Oh so close to where I want to be
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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Toby said:
"If you do, keep it out of the office and quiet. Difficult but possible. Or simply don't do it."
Which I think is good advice. I met my Catwoman at work. We worked together for a few months and noticed there was something between us. We decided to give it a try. In the beginning we kept things quiet and did not tell a soul at work (neither one of us wanted to be the object of workplace gossip). Took about six months for the secret to pop. Even then we always seperated our work lives from our personal.
_________________
Toby also said:
"It is always better to regret something that you have done rather than regret something that you haven't done."
Which I think is also good advice.
Try to think about the person of your desire in an objective manner.
If you think that she is mature enough to handle an office romance then go for it.
Have fun and good luck. |
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crazylemongirl

Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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| I have a very cute copy boy at my work, who is there on miltary service. While not part of the school staff per say this guy is still eye candy until one of us leaves. |
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Badmojo

Joined: 07 Mar 2004 Location: I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| rapier wrote: |
| You sound as if you're embarking on this as a diversion, something to amuse you.. be aware that if things go wrong, she may come off a whole lot worse out of the deal than you. |
I wouldn't say I'm in it for the amusement. I'm into her, she's into me, why wouldn't you get together? That is a Western perspective though. She's not going to see it like that.
| rapier wrote: |
| .. are you prepared for whatever possible outcome. K-gals can be hardcore playas. They can lead you on for their own amusement, their signals can be hard to interpret.. she might already have a boyfriend.. she might fall for you, or you for her...it could get nasty. |
This girl is no "playa". She has no boyfriend. She's not doing it for her amusement. That much is obvious.
| rapier wrote: |
| Korean girls are notoriously group people. They prefer to do everything within the safety of group outings, with the backdrop excuse of soju etc. If you ask to meet her one on one, give a good reason, such as you need her to help you with Korean, do a bank transaction, anything plausible. Otherwise she'll see it virtually as a marriage proposal. |
I've already seen her twice one on one. Just for coffee, after work. Is this how she'll see it, like something definite is on the horizon? I'm obviously messing around in an area I have no knowledge in. Because it wasn't like this in China. I did things like that all the time with different women. |
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Badmojo

Joined: 07 Mar 2004 Location: I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Tiger Beer wrote: |
| One of my co-workers (foreign guy) was having a relationship with our boss. Anyhow, he'd bang her after work, often take breaks together, and get something on at times in the women's bathroom (maybe just talking I don't know - but a number of times he'd come out of there a few minutes after she would). |
But a boss has to be a completely different situation. That's another thread in itself. Would you have an office romance with your boss? Please don't answer that here. |
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sparkx
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: thekimchipot.com
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| batman wrote: |
Toby also said:
"It is always better to regret something that you have done rather than regret something that you haven't done." |
What about my friend and that nasty case of ass herpes he has? I know for a fact he regrets using that stripper pole to scratch his ass. |
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Badmojo

Joined: 07 Mar 2004 Location: I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| animalbirdfish wrote: |
| Still, like some above posters warned, Korean girls love to talk/gossip, so you might be wise to keep a few things to yourself (in everything that implies). |
I've been thinking about that. I've come to the conclusion that I really don't care. Gossip on, women. Do I really care what they think of me, anyway? Why should I value their opinions? Who are they?
| justbecause wrote: |
I have a had a couple.... and the one I started 2 years ago I'm still having.
Don't listen to these guys, they are pretty bad when it comes to women I've noticed.
Just take it slow... and if it doesn't work out don't make a big scene and give her some respect and dignity and it is Ok.
I had 3 before this one and neither of us quit because we broke up. Just act like a decent human and not a raving lunatic and you'll be fine. |
Now this is what I want to hear. My plan is this, I'm going to be honest with her from the start. I'm not going to lead her on, play games, or get involved in any of the periphery BS that usually clouds and contaminates relationships. I'm going to tell her my idea of what this is going to be, what my plans are, and if she accepts, it's game on. If not, that's fine too.
Would I do any of this if she wasn't Korean? Hell, no. But in that case we would both understand what's going on. |
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rapier
Joined: 16 Feb 2003
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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Ok badmojo, sounds like you're quite well set on this, go for it and good luck with it. Keep us updated...  |
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Mashimaro

Joined: 31 Jan 2003 Location: location, location
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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I just want to go on record and say that this will end in tears if you don't keep the relationship purely on a friendship level. Hope I'm wrong...  |
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Jensen

Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Location: hippie hell
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2004 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Badmojo wrote: |
| ...My plan is this, I'm going to be honest with her from the start. I'm not going to lead her on, play games, or get involved in any of the periphery BS that usually clouds and contaminates relationships... |
I hate to say it man, but you are are going to get soooo screwed. And I don't mean that in a good way.
quote fixed by CLG |
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