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patapata
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: SK
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 Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:56 pm Post subject: Introverts in Korea (roll call) |
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Any fellow introverts out there? Both native Koreans and foreigners here seem to be predominately extroverted. I've found it to be a bit of a challenge in terms of connecting with people (meeting them is no problem, it's actually finding friends that's more difficult) and day-to-day interactions (e.g.- random "Let's practice English!" sessions on the street).
If you're out there, what have your experiences been like? If you're teaching, do you ever feel drained by all the loud and hyperactive kids? Best guilty pleasure/downtime ideas? |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:21 pm Post subject: Re: Introverts in Korea (roll call) |
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| patapata wrote: |
Any fellow introverts out there? Both native Koreans and foreigners here seem to be predominately extroverted. I've found it to be a bit of a challenge in terms of connecting with people (meeting them is no problem, it's actually finding friends that's more difficult) and day-to-day interactions (e.g.- random "Let's practice English!" sessions on the street).
If you're out there, what have your experiences been like? If you're teaching, do you ever feel drained by all the loud and hyperactive kids? Best guilty pleasure/downtime ideas? |
I'm an intense introvert. The only negative things about it for me in this country are the fact that people ask if I have a girlfriend, and I say no, then they ask 'why' and I'm always stuck. I can't say 'because I don't want a girlfriend' because they assume I'm gay, so I just mumble and then say 'people don't like me' - which isn't entirely a lie. I've lost count of the Koreans wanting to date me, only to find im incredibly boring/scared/nervous etc. Never even got as far as the dating stages - wouldn't want to.
The other thing is that going to places such as Itaewon is simply too much for me. I ended up missing the England world cup loss because I had just had enough of westerners being loud and happy, Needed the peace of my home. I have a time limit that I can hang out with people, basically.
What I do about it with screaming kids and the like? Just the natural way, really. For starters I'm epically tolerant of the kids, and I basically never get annoyed. I only get 10 minutes break between each lesson, no other breaks, and most of the 10 minutes is sorting the kids out to get onto their buses etc, but I get a good 2-3 minutes to go and take a breather. Literally take a big sigh or two, watching birds in trees, as if I'm alone in the tropics, or Arctic, depending on the time of year, and go in again. Introverts are often very malleable, adapting to their surroundings sufficiently well so it shouldn't be too hard for new people to try it.
However, in terms of connecting with people, I much prefer to just stay home than 'connect' with any old person who decides to talk to me. People are often irritated that I don't get peoples numbers for further meetings and such - bizarre that I may have no interest in further meetings. I have had 3-4 very close friends who are similar to me, who I still spend time with, and that's about it, really.
Surely as in introvert, you'll only need a small group too? They should be easy enough to find. Just join groups that you are interested in, they'll usually have the same type of people lingering around in the darker corners of the room/vicinity/mountain. |
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ed
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:36 pm Post subject: yeah |
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I'm a huge introvert too. seems all I ever meet are extroverts and it drives them nuts that I don't want to meet lots of people and do lots of things.
my wife is an extrovert so we don't spend a lot of time together. |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:59 pm Post subject: Re: yeah |
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| ed wrote: |
I'm a huge introvert too. seems all I ever meet are extroverts and it drives them nuts that I don't want to meet lots of people and do lots of things.
my wife is an extrovert so we don't spend a lot of time together. |
Well, It doesn't stop me wanting to do things, I just have to in the right company. They ask me if I want to do something, go somewhere, and I respond with 'always', and make it clear that if they ever do something I will gladly go along with it.
To be honest, Korea has really, truly opened me up. Only yesterday I was playing with kids, throwing them over my shoulder, spinning them round and giving them piggy backs. Only yesterday I actually went up to a person to ask how they were and keep them company in a moment of bad times, and only yesterday I joined in with koreans and played basketball and volley football... thing, for hours.
My normal response would be to look at kids blankly and walk off, or pull a face and then ignore them. Make a note of the upset person but nothing more, or think to myself 'get over it'. Think about either how good or how bad they are at their sport, but observing quietly from the sidelines.
I know personalities can't change, in the form of Myers Biggs Intro's and Extro's, but it's definitely doing me good here. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:27 am Post subject: Re: yeah |
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| I'm both extrovert and introvert. Depending on my mood and the situation. |
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pangaea
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:42 am Post subject: |
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I'm definitely an introvert. I want to make friends and I do enjoy having people to spend time with. It's just that I have a hard time meeting people, especially people that enjoy doing the same things. I do go out occasionally, but it's not something that I can do a lot. Being in a noisy bar with a lot of strangers is generally not my idea of a good time. I'm much more comfortable with a small group of people having dinner, shopping, going to a park or museum, watching a movie, etc. My best friend at home is an extrovert and knew she always had to find someone else to go clubbing with her. She loves being with a large group of people and being the center of attention. She said it energizes her. It does exactly the opposite for me. Being around a lot of other people for too long drains me and I need some time to myself to recharge.
In my downtime I do what I guess would be considered introverted things. I watch tv, read books, browse the internet, get in arguments with strangers online. The internet is probably the best thing to ever happen to introverts. It's social interaction at your fingertips but on your own terms.
A book that other introverts might like is Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto by Anneli Rufus. It explores a lot of issues that introverts face, from childhood and throughout their lives. |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:49 am Post subject: Re: yeah |
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| nautilus wrote: |
| I'm both extrovert and introvert. Depending on my mood and the situation. |
Yes, that's how it works. Some aspects are extrovert, others are introvert. It's that which is the majority that makes you Ex or In... Myers Biggs, check it. Always interesting to see what peoples outcome is. Mine was as predicted, INTP:
Introverted Thinking
Extraverted Intuition
Introverted Sensing
Extraverted Feeling
Being Extraverted, depending on your mood doesn't make you an extravert as a whole suddenly, it just makes you extravert at that moment.
In fact, if you feel you are a bit of both, it's generally that you don't have a very strong personality. My Introvert friend, Nate is also INTP, but like almost 100% each way in I, N, T and P, there is no doubting his type. Mine is quite strong but some are only say, 55% I, 60% N.
Of course there's always criticism about the Myers Biggs experiments; one should never let Myers Biggs become them, Only give them an idea about what they already know, but in more detail. |
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DorkothyParker
Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 3:59 am Post subject: |
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I am more introverted but in a strange way, I think.
Before I came to Korea, I worked in a customer oriented job, and I came to greatly enjoy making small talk with customers. I was still very shy and quiet when it came to trying to make friends (speaking to other students in my Uni classes), but I LOVED chatting up folks at the bar and trying to charm my way into free drinks from the bartender or whatever. I also like being the center of attention. Basically, I liked short conservations with no strings attached. I was happy and I had a few good friends who appreciated my hijinks.
Since coming to Korea, I've (apparently) put my foot in my mouth so many times, offended my coworkers, or just plain looked foolish that I've become terrified of conversation. I just clam up all the time, now. I don't know how to interact in this new situation and I've become increasingly shy again and shut in.
So long story short, I am a quiet person that likes loud group situations. Is that an introvert still? I don't know. |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 4:19 am Post subject: |
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It would have been hilarious if this thread remained empty, with no responses for a while.  |
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pangaea
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:04 am Post subject: |
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Globutron wrote:
| Quote: |
| The other thing is that going to places such as Itaewon is simply too much for me. I ended up missing the England world cup loss because I had just had enough of westerners being loud and happy, Needed the peace of my home. I have a time limit that I can hang out with people, basically. |
+1
I've thought a few times that I should just ask you to marry me, but as I am a socially awkward introvert and I do indeed look like "a hideous juxtaposition of a dangerously overweight mammal and a particularly aged reptile," I can't imagine the scenario in which that would happen. |
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PeteJB
Joined: 06 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:18 am Post subject: |
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| Dude there are tonnes of introverts in Korea. Half the population is addicted to online gaming. |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:34 am Post subject: |
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| pangaea wrote: |
Globutron wrote:
| Quote: |
| The other thing is that going to places such as Itaewon is simply too much for me. I ended up missing the England world cup loss because I had just had enough of westerners being loud and happy, Needed the peace of my home. I have a time limit that I can hang out with people, basically. |
+1
I've thought a few times that I should just ask you to marry me, but as I am a socially awkward introvert and I do indeed look like "a hideous juxtaposition of a dangerously overweight mammal and a particularly aged reptile," I can't imagine the scenario in which that would happen. |
Hahaha. How introvert of you. I like that you've remembered my loving description of you.
| Quote: |
| So long story short, I am a quiet person that likes loud group situations. Is that an introvert still? I don't know. |
To me, you sound extravert. Sine extraverts can be very outgoing, but not accustomed to change, and that can ruin them. It can often make them lock themselves in rooms for months, as introverts do. But, I'm no expert, this is just from light online reading.
If you wanna find out, just visit this website (I don't actually have it because I've forgotten, but It's simply online and if you can find any with over 50 questions then it should be good - the one I used was very comprehensive and made me start to research the MBP types. There are some out there that have been made by university students and the like). |
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pangaea
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:59 am Post subject: |
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Globutron wrote:
| Quote: |
| Hahaha. How introvert of you. I like that you've remembered my loving description of you. |
Such eloquence is hard to forget. It's not every day that I am graced with such flattery.
patapata wrote:
| Quote: |
| If you're teaching, do you ever feel drained by all the loud and hyperactive kids? |
By Friday, I am feeling drained. On Friday nights after work, I just need some time to curl up with my laptop and relax in my pajamas. I've never been one to go out on a Friday night after working all week. The daily constant contact with people, big or small, gets to me and I need to take a break. |
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PigeonFart
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:44 am Post subject: |
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I can be very introverted. At times i'm way too introverted that i'm unhappy with myself (for not making contact with people that i actually do want to connect with).
So i drink alcohol on Fri or Sat night, and i become more extroverted than the loudest extrovert in the room. The transformation is quite amazing. My disco life friends can't understand how i can hold down a job (they think i'm crazy all the time). The co-workers can't imagine me doing anything other than being alone and being quiet.
I recommend the use alcohol if you want to be more extroverted. Just only do it once a week like me. |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:08 am Post subject: |
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| PigeonFart wrote: |
I can be very introverted. At times i'm way too introverted that i'm unhappy with myself (for not making contact with people that i actually do want to connect with).
So i drink alcohol on Fri or Sat night, and i become more extroverted than the loudest extrovert in the room. The transformation is quite amazing. My disco life friends can't understand how i can hold down a job (they think i'm crazy all the time). The co-workers can't imagine me doing anything other than being alone and being quiet.
I recommend the use alcohol if you want to be more extroverted. Just only do it once a week like me. |
Another link to extrovert (transition from A to O), in that they often will need stimulants or the likes of alcohol in order to adapt to ones environment, fit with the peers, whereas a true Introvert will tend to either simply not bother fitting in or being able to mold into the situation. Again, lacking evidence here but that's my take. Not insulting Extro's here, of course, as much as I hate you all. |
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