Korean Job Discussion Forums

[bacasper]

The late psychoanalyst Harry Stack Sullivan first hypothesized the importance in the pre- and adolescent developmental stage of 'chumship' in healthy adult functioning. This was borne out by later research. Can we look forward to greater mental illness in future adults if this idiocy becomes more widespread?

A Best Friend? You Must Be Kidding

By HILARY STOUT
Published: June 16, 2010

FROM the time they met in kindergarten until they were 15, Robin Shreeves and her friend Penny were inseparable. They rode bikes, played kickball in the street, swam all summer long and listened to Andy Gibb, the Bay City Rollers and Shaun Cassidy on the stereo. When they were little, they liked Barbies; when they were bigger, they hung out at the roller rink on Friday nights. They told each other secrets like which boys they thought were cute, as best friends always do.

Today, Ms. Shreeves, of suburban Philadelphia, is the mother of two boys. Her 10-year-old has a best friend. In fact, he is the son of Ms. Shreeves�s own friend, Penny. But Ms. Shreeves�s younger son, 8, does not. His favorite playmate is a boy who was in his preschool class, but Ms. Shreeves says that the two don�t get together very often because scheduling play dates can be complicated; they usually have to be planned a week or more in advance. �He�ll say, �I wish I had someone I can always call,� � Ms. Shreeves said.

One might be tempted to feel some sympathy for the younger son. After all, from Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, the childhood �best friend� has long been romanticized in literature and pop culture � not to mention in the sentimental memories of countless adults.

But increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?

Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond � the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school � signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.

�I think it is kids� preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults � teachers and counselors � we try to encourage them not to do that,� said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. �We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.�

�Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,� she continued. �We say he doesn�t need a best friend.�

more insanity at link

[Junior]

Every kid has 1 or 2 best closest friends when they're growing up surely?
I can't think of anyone who didn't.

But sure..its probably something you grow out of to an extent..adult friendships tend to be a bit more circumstantial, fleeting and shallow IMO.

[Senior]

My childhood was definitely typified by a "best bud" type scenario. I had two close friends, one in elementary, the other from late elementary through to mid way through high school (he dropped out). I'm actually still pretty close to the one from early elementary. Our relationship hasn't changed one bit since we were seven. I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this, because the article was even more confused than my response to it.

Trying to change or manipulate kids is like trying to do the same to nature. The world doesn't really work like that.

[bacasper]

[bucheon bum]

What a load of absolute rubbish. Why the hell are we (society) trying to intervene more in kids lives? Let them develop on their own for goodness sakes. Freaking baby boomers have done so much damage, it is unbelievable.

I mean what numbskulls thought up this crap:

[Hyeon Een]

Sometimes people mock me because I say things like "I wouldn't mind raising my kids in Korea, I think there are certain things they do right here"

And stories like this make me think I'm right. Korea sucks in a hell of a lot of ways, but there is none of this PC bullshit happening. This stuff isn't even PC, it's just some random idiots with a government job trying to make themselves feel worthwhile and trying to make it seem PC while they do it. It sucks.

I, as a Brit, kind of liked the idea of the American education situation as it was in the 60s, 70s and 80s. It was very different to Britain and, I think, better. This kind of nonsense though ruins it. It destroys it. I can't believe there are people being paid money, through taxpayers contributions, to say crap like this. It's ridiculous. I'd rather homeschool my child than have idiots like the one in the OP directing my child's education.

Also, I'm against homeschooling. In the same way I'm against firearms. I want them/it for myself and family, but don't trust anyone else to have them or be allowed to do it. =)

[bacasper]

I think we ought to apply this philosophy to marriage. After all, how much jealousy is caused by people having that one special spouse? We could easily eliminate that by encouraging everybody to be married to everybody else without favorites.

And what about parenthood? Why limit kids just to that one special mother or father? If any of them seem to be getting to close, just switch them around.

But seriously, folks, the chumship described by Sullivan is actually a dress rehearsal for an adult romantic relationship. By interfering in that, we may be inadvertently causing more marital dysfunction.