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djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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 Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| This thread makes me angry and frustrated and may cause me to grit my teeth at night and end up with TMJ. "What do I say when someone says they love me?" Lord H Christ man, if you haven't figured that out yet, by all means please keep it securely zipped up in your pants. Or remove it altogether |
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wiganer
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:35 am Post subject: |
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You don't sound so awesome to me Matt. Why are you in this relationship? I bet you don't even like her - I agree with Kaypea - do her a big favour and get lost out of her life - leave her for someone who will love her. 
Last edited by wiganer on Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:35 am; edited 1 time in total |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:35 am Post subject: |
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just do what I do
girl: i love you
me: i know |
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wiganer
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
just do what I do
girl: i love you
me: i know |
Yes, but you have borrowed it from Hans Solo - well done!  |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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| Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:38 am Post subject: |
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| I prefer my method - Never get in the situation in the first place. Loathe everyone and everything, and you will become objectively happier than all those around you. Works for me, anywho. |
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Skipperoo
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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| wiganer wrote: |
| recessiontime wrote: |
just do what I do
girl: i love you
me: i know |
Yes, but you have borrowed it from Hans Solo - well done! |
That's the test. If the girl understands the reference right away, you marry her. |
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Quack Addict
Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 2:44 am Post subject: |
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| MattAwesome wrote: |
| i do want ot make her happy, but how do you suggest i do that? i cant lie, and i have been socially conditioned to be reserved in my use of "love" |
You can date more than one girl at a time but your morals kick in when you have to tell a girl a lie? Ha ha ha haha..you're kidding, right? |
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seonsengnimble
Joined: 02 Jun 2009
Location: taking a ride on the magic English bus
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 5:41 am Post subject: |
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| wiganer wrote: |
| - leave her for someone who will love her. |
Nowhere in the op did I see any mention of the op or his girlfriend being gay. |
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MattAwesome
Joined: 30 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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To update my situation. I continued to avoid the issue and she was fine with it. It IS just a temporary thing. She does leave sometime in the near future.
I will try saying "I know" next time. She did also ask me about being her boyfriend. I told her I was hurt by my last girl, and I dont want to go through that again. We are very happy now and and I dont want to risk anything." worked too.
Being honest about dating other people and lying about it are very different. If I did love her i would say so. If saying I love you will make her happy that should is ok too. I'll do it when the time is right. |
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lukas
Joined: 22 Aug 2009
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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I've always be partial to "You're not in love with me, you're in love with the idea of me". Three months is a little too soon to be throwing around "I love yous" IMO
You're just beginning to get to know each other after three months, let alone begin to love someone. OP, she must be a lot of fun, but please be careful you don't find yourself ending up like this guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5OlolbLXvw
Anyway, good job not caving into pressure to say something you don't mean. |
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Juregen
Joined: 30 May 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:00 pm Post subject: Re: The "L" word, your thoughts |
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| MattAwesome wrote: |
I will probably see her today, so i see 3 possible scenarios arise. 1 we have a normal date and i continue to evade the issue, 2 she brings it up and we have to define our relationship, or 3, we stop seeing each other completely. I dont want to lie to the girl and say i love her with all hte promises of the future together. i said i dont know if i want a relationship.
your thoughts on my situation. i know my first mistake was not telling her what i want with her. however i havnt lied to her about anything. what do you do when someone says the L word and you are unsure of youre situation? |
Dude, she is asking a legit questions.
You dig her or you don't?
If you don't, let her fly, if you do, take your responsibility.
Is that so hard to understand? |
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confucian
Joined: 13 May 2010
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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| MattAwesome wrote: |
| i do want ot make her happy, but how do you suggest i do that? i cant lie, and i have been socially conditioned to be reserved in my use of "love" |
You're in Korea, you're with a Korean girl and you're unwilling to lie?
Good luck, man. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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| You say "I adore you." |
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Kaypea
Joined: 09 Oct 2008
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal wrote: |
| You say "I adore you." |
I actually like this. I'm sorry I told you to *beep* off, I was just projecting... I just think ignoring it's not so great. But, given the nature of the relationship, and that she probably doesn't *love*-*love* you, maybe it's best to say something like the above. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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| lukas wrote: |
| Three months is a little too soon to be throwing around "I love yous" IMO |
Koreans generally have a much more limited english vocabulary than native speakers. At school they aren't taught all the subtle variations of expressing different feelings. they just learn the catchphrase "I love you" off movies or whatever and use it too easily perhaps.
She might really be saying any one of the following:
a) I'm attracted to you at the moment
b) I like that particular thing you did.
c) At the moment I feel horny
d) I have feelings today but tomorrow they might change
e) I love that particular thing about you.
f) I have a crush on you
g) You look hot in those pants
but it all just gets rolled into the default "I love you".
In the west that sentence has a lot, a lot, more gravity. It means something like "after knowing you well and finding out everything about you over time, I'm ready to commit to something a lot more serious, I am giving my heart".
I don't think Koreans generally mean it the same way that we do.
But if sh'es still saying it after a year.. then she probably does.  |
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