Korean Job Discussion Forums

rugby6 · Joined: 22 Jul 2010

I am in the process of job-searching and researching life in Korea, and one of my chief concerns is how tolerant the culture is of homosexuals (I am a lesbian.) Can anyone tell me anything about gay life, attitudes, or positive/negative experiences?

Patrick Murtha · Joined: 23 Mar 2010

amcnutt · Joined: 22 Mar 2010

I googled "gay-friendly" countries in Asia, and Japan & Thailand ranked higher than Korea in terms of social acceptance/legal issues.
However, I know that Seoul does have a number of gay bars, so it definitely isn't forbidden, like illegal in some countries... Maybe just frowned upon by many conservative Koreans.
If the feedback is bad for Korea, I would consider one of these other countries where you would feel more accepted and able to teach abroad.

soviet_man · Joined: 23 Apr 2005 Location: Seoul

For gay boys there are the bars, the saunas and the internet.

But for lesbians in Korea, they are quite the invisible minority.

On the one hand nobody will bat an eyelid if a same sex couple holds hands, a hotel room or a bed.

But in terms of physical spaces that specifically cater to lesbians, there are none that I have come across in real life - and I've been here since 2005.

Certainly, the only sensible advice is to stay in Seoul (I'm thinking around the university areas) and not go out to a rural area.

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

It's a shame, really, because it seems like TESOL would be such a gay friendly profession. Also, there wouldn't be the whole concern about foreign men stealing local women. Though, I suppose it could be foreign women stealing local women...hmmm....

Mr. Kalgukshi · Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:16 pm Post subject:

Serious responses only, please.

An inappropriate posting has just been deleted.

As this thread is being monitored by the Mod Team, it would be very foolish to troll or flame here unless no longer concerned about maintaining active membership status.

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=168086

Janny · Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Location: all over the place

I've made a few lesbian friends (foreigners) over the years. They seemed to have carved out a niche in Seoul. There is an underground network that is hip, thriving and very supportive of newcomers. There are a few bars in Hongdae and Itaewon that are gay and lesbian exclusively. There is also a ladies' Rugby team that you may be interested in.

My lesbian friends were happy and had an active social life. They just didn't go around "loud and proud" like you might at home. They keep it quiet around the Koreans. But for the most part Koreans don't want to know...they would much rather you lie and say "oh, haven't found the right man yet" with a smile. That's that. Just be a good teacher, fly under the radar, and they'll leave you alone.

Things might get more depressing if you're not in Seoul, however. (ie. get a job in Seoul!!)

JBomb · Joined: 16 Oct 2008

I have also noticed it seems much more open to gay males but less so to lesbians. Korea is very very homophobic, but most of the big cities have its gay area. The one in Seoul is actually quite fun. I always found Itaewon quite boring until I spent a night out up on "homo hill." The ratio of men to women though was quite high. In terms of office space relations, most foreigners gay or straight here find it much easier professionally if they keep their private lives secret anyway.

Harpeau · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Location: Coquitlam, BC

I would concure with Jenny. I have gay & lesbian friends and Seoul would definitely be preferable. It's like the 1950's here. Many Koreans seem to have trouble wrapping their heads around same-sex couples.

bobbyhanlon · Joined: 09 Nov 2003 Location: 서울

there's definitely a scene in hongdae (thats the big university/party area). i'm male so i can't go, but i heard from a lesbian friend that there are several clubs in that area, and also the park in sinchon (just down the road) is a big hangout.

but yeah, you can't make it too public.. basically, don't tell anyone, unless you can really trust them.

rugby6 · Joined: 22 Jul 2010

Thanks for all of the advice. I was thinking about teaching in a smaller city, but sounds like Seoul is my best bet. Sounds like there should be at least a bit of a gay scene, so I'll keep my head down at work and everything will work out.

schlotzy · Joined: 10 Mar 2010 Location: South Korea

Hey rugby,

Sometimes I feel like gayness is just a non-issue in Korea. For the most part, people don't talk about it at all. Those who do talk about it, often state that there are "no gay people in Korea" as I was told yet again the other night.

Good news, other posters are right. There's a better lesbian scene than I imagined. In Seoul, two or three places in Hongdae for the ladies and a couple in Itaewon. If you're headed down Busan way, I know of at least 4 lesbian bars and several men's bars as well.

Another good idea is to hook up with lesbian groups. They exist in Seoul and Busan. PM me if you need more info.

Katie26 · Joined: 06 Jan 2009

Hey,

Are you coming here single or in a relationship? If you're with someone then I think a smaller city can be cool but if you're single then go to Seoul. I lived in Ulsan for a year and actually met a great Canadian girl, who I'm now with. However I guess this is a pretty rare situation.
It depends on what your scene is also. Most of my friends are straight and I'm quite happy to go along with them to all kinds of bars/restaurants to socialize rather than just go to gay bars. I understand the purpose of gay bars but sometimes find them a bit shallow. I think I'm quite tactile with my girlfriend and the above poster is right Koreans don't bat an eyelid. obviously I don't full on make out with her in public or anything but you know I wouldn't do that with a guy (Major PDAs are so wrong...).

As for my foreigner friends they all know and are comfortable as you would expect with the situation. As for my Korean friends only one female co teacher, lovely and seemingly quite liberal, has asked me if we were 'special friends'. I just laughed at her-she can make of it what she will. I haven't had any problems with Koreans who just prefer to ignore the situation-mind you I'm fairly girly and I think if you were very overtly 'butch' (no offense) then Koreans would find it strange and question you more, maybe?

Anyway hope you decide to go-I had a great year there.

As a sidenote i know about 3 other single lesbians in Ulsan, obviously not a big dating pool Wink

laguna · Joined: 27 Jun 2010

definitely maybe · Joined: 16 Feb 2008

I'm no expert, but I have met some lesbians and bi girls who are involved with rugby here in Seoul. They all seemed pretty pleased with their social and dating lives here. I have no idea if any of them were in meaningful relationships, but they weren't complaining. It's true that there is still a stigma attached to homosexuality here and that the men seem to get more attention, but the people who'd have you believe that you'll be practically entering a year of chaste celibacy don't really know what they're talking about. Then again, being attractive is probably going to help you out a lot more than anything else.