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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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 Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2004 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| coolsage wrote: |
| ... Unless you get both your asses out of Korea, you'll be tied to that family for as long as they live. |
do you have children? i ask because i for one hope to have mine around for as long as possible. i plan to accomplish this by being a positive force in my family (as my husband's mother is). i've lived far from family for most of my adult life, which works in one's favor while one is playing around. but, once we started our family, those "ties" started looking good.
Last edited by Ody on Fri Mar 19, 2004 4:56 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2004 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| oops, double post. |
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peppergirl
Joined: 07 Dec 2003
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2004 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| coolsage wrote: |
| , I'm still at a loss as to why a western woman would want to hook up with a Korean guy, unless there's some deeply Freudian need for submissiveness. Unless you get both your asses out of Korea, you'll be tied to that family for as long as they live. It's tough enough for a western guy-korean woman match; for the opposite, I wish you well, but that does not bode well. |
Been very happily married for 1,5 years to a very sweet Korean guy.
Also happily tied to his family, they're all very kind to me and don't expect anything from me (except a grandson maybe  ) |
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coolsage
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: The overcast afternoon of the soul
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| Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Peppergirl: you might be the exception that proves the rule. "Happily tied", you wrote. Sounds like submission to me. And Homer, don't make me come over there, wherever 'there' is. |
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peppergirl
Joined: 07 Dec 2003
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 2:50 am Post subject: |
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| coolsage wrote: |
| Peppergirl: you might be the exception that proves the rule. "Happily tied", you wrote. Sounds like submission to me. |
Nope, they all live at least 1 hour away from where we live, and we go visit them when we feel like it. They haven't visited our place since we came, except my father in law has been over a few times when something needed to be fixed (we're both working and couldn't stay home to wait for the repair man). When we get home, the dishes are clean and my husbands shirts are ironed... He's the greatest father in law  |
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Mr. Pink
Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: China
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| peppergirl wrote: |
| coolsage wrote: |
| , I'm still at a loss as to why a western woman would want to hook up with a Korean guy, unless there's some deeply Freudian need for submissiveness. Unless you get both your asses out of Korea, you'll be tied to that family for as long as they live. It's tough enough for a western guy-korean woman match; for the opposite, I wish you well, but that does not bode well. |
Been very happily married for 1,5 years to a very sweet Korean guy.
Also happily tied to his family, they're all very kind to me and don't expect anything from me (except a grandson maybe ) |
1.5 years isn't long.
I've been married 4yrs and that isn't long.
Any women on this forum been married to a Korean guy over 5+yrs?
I have a friend who is married to one. He is a good guy. The crap thing is his job makes it so my friend could probably say she is "single" and people would believe it.
You can't put all Korean guys in the same barrel. Same with K-girls. Seems the two biggest misconcepts on this forum are:
1) K-gals only care about cashie
2) Korean guys treat woman like crap
Get past those two misconceptions/stereotypes and you can find there are decent guys/gals...just society sometimes makes things uncomfortable...like when the K-guy has to work 14-16 hrs a day. |
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anae
Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:46 am Post subject: |
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Mr. Pink :
| Quote: |
Any women on this forum been married to a Korean guy over 5+yrs?
I have a friend who is married to one. He is a good guy. The crap thing is his job makes it so my friend could probably say she is "single" and people would believe it.
You can't put all Korean guys in the same barrel. Same with K-girls. Seems the two biggest misconcepts on this forum are:
1) K-gals only care about cashie
2) Korean guys treat woman like crap
Get past those two misconceptions/stereotypes and you can find there are decent guys/gals...just society sometimes makes things uncomfortable...like when the K-guy has to work 14-16 hrs a day. |
Well said Mr. Pink. I have been married to a Korean man for five years and he is the best husband I could ask for. It was Korean society that made it hard for us. We left Korea three years ago, so my husband could come home at 5 and we could spend time together and raise a family as partners.
My husband's family is wonderful to me. The only reason I felt stress over family issues was due to the pressure I put on myself to try and return their acceptance and kindness by trying to be the daughter-in-law they deserved. |
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Homer
Guest
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 6:47 am Post subject: |
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coolsage,
From the responses you got on here it seems you mistook your personal opinion for reality...  |
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coolsage
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: The overcast afternoon of the soul
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| To peppergirl and anae: well-spoken, both of you, and good wishes for success in your marriages. You are the exceptions. I've seen many of these intercultural relationships hit the rocks; if it were not already tough enough for man and woman to get and stay together, throw a cultural difference into the mix, and the chances for success are dicey. I'm married to a splendid Thai woman, and while I'm crazy in love with her, she in many ways remains a mystery to me. We're still a work in progress. I like this kind of work, though. It beats the hell out of living this life alone. Thankfully the Thai ethic doesn't require my presence as part of a family unit much at all, and when it happens, I'm there willingly, supplying chicken and beer for the relatives and anyone else who comes over the hill. I like it. I like it a lot. |
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Mr. Pink
Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: China
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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| anae wrote: |
Mr. Pink :
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Any women on this forum been married to a Korean guy over 5+yrs?
I have a friend who is married to one. He is a good guy. The crap thing is his job makes it so my friend could probably say she is "single" and people would believe it.
You can't put all Korean guys in the same barrel. Same with K-girls. Seems the two biggest misconcepts on this forum are:
1) K-gals only care about cashie
2) Korean guys treat woman like crap
Get past those two misconceptions/stereotypes and you can find there are decent guys/gals...just society sometimes makes things uncomfortable...like when the K-guy has to work 14-16 hrs a day. |
Well said Mr. Pink. I have been married to a Korean man for five years and he is the best husband I could ask for. It was Korean society that made it hard for us. We left Korea three years ago, so my husband could come home at 5 and we could spend time together and raise a family as partners.
My husband's family is wonderful to me. The only reason I felt stress over family issues was due to the pressure I put on myself to try and return their acceptance and kindness by trying to be the daughter-in-law they deserved. |
My friend will be moving away from Korea, because she wants her husband home early too.
I honestly don't think the posters on this board are the exceptions. There are tons of people out there who have wonderful marriages to Korean men. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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another "exception" stands up.
the date of this photo is 1992.
Last edited by Ody on Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:47 am; edited 1 time in total |
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dutchman
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: My backyard
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| Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Ody wrote: |
another "exception" stands up.
the date of this photo is 1992. |
Come one Ody! Don't tease us. How about a bigger picture? One where can actually see faces. For all we know that is a picture of two Korean people. |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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' found a new source and now it's bigger.
Last edited by Ody on Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:49 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Mr. Pink
Joined: 21 Oct 2003
Location: China
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| Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Ody wrote: |
okay. but, due to my definate lack of technical prowess, you're going to have to work for it!
follow the provided link (below) to my personal page, then go to the bottom of the archive page (last link on the navigator bar) to get a better veiw of the above pic, among others.
let me know what you think.
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Since you left out the link, let me help you:
Removed URL due to ODY's concern. However it isn't hard to find 
Last edited by Mr. Pink on Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:51 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Ody
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: over here
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| Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Mr. Pink.
After our pm exchange, i edited my post above to better conform to my pseudo-private sensibility.
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