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dating a Korean man...language barrier
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afp120



Joined: 09 May 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:50 am    Post subject: dating a Korean man...language barrier Reply with quote

I tried searching for this but for some reason the search feature doesn't seem to be working for me.

I need some advice. I've been in Korea for a bit over a month so haven't really learned the language except for a few key phrases and random words.
My 2nd week here to my surprise I met a Korean guy at the gym who I fell head over heels for. Only problem is that he doesn't speak English and like I said, I don't speak Korean.
I see him every day (M-F) and my friend who I go to the gym with translates for us so we can talk a bit. But I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for how I can make this work.
Please don't tell me it's hopeless. I refuse to accept this. I'm trying to learn Korean but it's not something that can be accomplished overnight!
I know a few western men who married Korean women and they couldn't talk to each other when they first met, so I know that it's possible...but how?
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Lee Myung Bak



Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

how?

One of you needs to learn the others language. Simple as that. You can't start a relationship with a translator constantly on hand. It will be tough at first but will get easier with time.

Alcohol also helps ease language barriers!!
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Vix



Joined: 18 Jun 2010
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Argh I know exactly how you feel! There's a boy in my church who's Korean and I actually melt when I see him. I know he likes me too as he always smiles at me and uses the dictionary in his phone to say little cute things to me. Korean is a beast of a language and my hagwon works me to a point where the last thing I want to do when I get home is study Korean. I am trying to be realistic about this though, it's probably not going to happen. But I go to bed every night hoping it will. Best of luck to you and your guy, I really hope it works out. Do let us know what happens.
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Radius



Joined: 20 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why dont you two do a language exchange? Since Korean guys are somewhat on the shy side, ask him if he (and your translator) go out for coffee sometime and help eachother learn the languages together. That way you can "date" and learn at teh same time. Then after the first few times, you two can try on your own....but it will be extremely difficult, i mean, how the hell can you two communicate until one of you has a working knowledge of the other's language. Its next to impossible unless you play charades the whole time Sad
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Slowmotion



Joined: 15 Aug 2009

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since it's easy for you to find a Korean guy in Korean and hard for him to find a white girl in Korea, i assume he values you more. So make him learn English Very Happy
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goingtothecountry



Joined: 15 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Slowmotion wrote:
Since it's easy for you to find a Korean guy in Korean and hard for him to find a white girl in Korea, i assume he values you more. So make him learn English Very Happy


Actually.. You can ask waygook girls who are interested in Korean guys. Korean guys they are interested in aren't into the white or black meat.
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Perceptioncheck



Joined: 13 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gosh, ladies, you've got to agree with me here - there's something utterly irresistable about a man referring to western women as "white or black meat".

Hot diggety, I need a cold shower!
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redaxe



Joined: 01 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My advice is don't let yourself fall "head over heels" for a person you cannot even communicate with.

Just enjoy knocking boots while it lasts, and then move on.
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Xylox



Joined: 09 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bring him over to your place and use google translate.
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Jane



Joined: 01 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Xylox wrote:
Bring him over to your place and use google translate.


Laughing Laughing
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Tbizz



Joined: 15 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

freetranslation.com
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pushpin fantasies



Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is possible to communicate and form a relationship using little more than hand gestures, basic phrases, and a notepad (for drawing and writing out words that might be difficult to understand when spoken)*, but it's harder to be happy doing this after the initial infatuation stage wears off and you find yourself struggling to talk about new topics. You may also find yourself limited in the types of activities that you two can do together (harder to hang out together with friends, etc.), which can frustrate some people, and a fair amount of patience is going to be required of both of you from the beginning. In the end, however, if you want it to work and he wants it to work, it can certainly work. Go for it and see what happens (but take some Korean classes ASAP if you're not doing so already).

EDIT: * - Don't forget your dictionary.
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ATM SPIDERTAO



Joined: 05 Jul 2009
Location: seoul, south korea

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm a dude but i was in your same situation when i first came here like 2 years ago

i didn't know ANY korean. i tried my best not to learn ANY korean before i came to see how much i could learn in a year

the first phrases i learned were

"you're cute" (yipo yo)
"do you have a boyfriend?" (namja chingoo iso yo?)
"do you want to go steady?" (na rang sa gui ja?)

and i busted it out on EVERY girl who i thought might be receptive

and it worked 100% of the time... 50% of the time hahahaha

just don't even ask if he has a girlfriend to be honest. lots of times, if it's with a foreigner, they might just go along to see if there's any kind of spark

are you attractive? if you're attractive, you're literally 100% in. good looking korean guys have usually a pretty open mind about dating. not very conservative at all when it comes to dating, especially a good looking white girl (if you're white. good looking is most important)

anyway hahaha

i'm sure you guys know more than i knew when i first started dating korean girls

i'm a chinese canadian though... so they just thought i was a gyobo (korean dude born in america) or something

i also had a freaking buzzcut. which is social suicide for anyone who looks asian here. it's the mark of an old man cuz the style was popular 20 years or so ago. haha looking back, i'm amazed i did so well but anyway

be bold! don't worry about the language barrier. you don't really need to speak the same language to fall in love, if that's what you're looking for. and spending time with them will help you pick up the language pretty damn fast

also, if you teach at a public school, they give free language lessons to foreigners in the city. or at least in my city. if not, get a co-worker to help you out

usually, you'll just be watching movies and eating together... or spending the night together hahahahaha awww jeah
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You



Joined: 31 May 2009

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in a similar situation. The Korean guy I like, also likes me and I'm taking Korean lessons. He thinks not speaking the same language is a big deal, but I'm more optimistic. I hope it works out ^^
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bluewall15



Joined: 06 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

goingtothecountry wrote:
Slowmotion wrote:
Since it's easy for you to find a Korean guy in Korean and hard for him to find a white girl in Korea, i assume he values you more. So make him learn English Very Happy


Actually.. You can ask waygook girls who are interested in Korean guys. Korean guys they are interested in aren't into the white or black meat.


Indeed. I have found myself more and more attracted to Korean guys, but aside from a few older/creepy men that hang out in Itaewon, it doesn't seem like young Korean men are interested in Westerns at all. Too bad!
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