Korean Job Discussion Forums

[fromtheuk]

I read online people suffer from a midlife crisis in their late 30s. I'm in that age range.

I'm on the 3rd day of a 10 day vacation. When I have time off work, I realize I have an empty life. No family of my own, no desire to read a book etc. I just want to do nothing at all.

I feel okay with that, but I get bored. What's worse is I can't be bothered to do anything, I'm lazy.

How about meeting people? I feel sickened by this suggestion. I generally don't like people very much at all. In fact, I tend to dislike them.

So, my options to fill my time are to sit online, watch something or sleep.

Is your life empty? Keep smiling.

[Who's Your Daddy?]

How long have you gone without a break from work? I mean I worked contract to contract for years. But I think it's good to take a few months off say every 5 years. Go backpacking or something.

[AsiaESLbound]

Midlife crisis is not a walk in the park. If I had the answer, I'd share it. A good start is if you can have friends and be a part of some community other than young guys partying in Korea. If I had the answer, I'd feel great about myself and I'd share it. The only people talking to me in this country say the answer to life is in our Lord savior Jesus, but I am not into that malarkey. I just wish to have friends, great career, and be home more often. I think if you get your geography, timing, and finances right, then everything else falls into place.

Definitely head down to SE Asia and have snapshot friendships to hang out with cool people from all over the world and just enjoy yourself. If I could, I'd leave today for Thailand and spend all Winter enjoying the weather, food, and people. The people situation is far different than what you experience living in Korea. Both foreign and local. Easy to meet, talk, make friends, and hang out down there. Just no money in it is the problem as to why I don't just go live and work down there.

[Kaypea]

Travel FFS. Sorry, but take the misery on the road... it helps a lot.

[Bloopity Bloop]

I think know how you feel.

FTUK, am I correct in assuming that you aren't interested in traveling, either?

'Cause if we really are in the same boat, then you probably , like you said at the top, don't feel like doing anything. I know I don't when I'm in one of those moods.

A lot of times I KNOW I should go out and do more with my life--whether it's simply taking classes to learn a new skill or getting involved in a club or simply being a bit more social--but I make excuses to get out of doing that stuff.

Unfortunately, I think getting ourselves busy/involved in something is literally the ONLY way for us to get rid of these "emptiness funks".

So the hard part is not figuring out WHAT to do, but to just do ANYTHING; breaking out of the feeling of not wanting to do anything and forcing ourselves to. I'm still working on that.

Have you led a pretty consistent life in recent years? I think certain people are far more vulnerable to falling into a life of regularity. Change becomes very unpleasant and even paralyzing. I think I've become like that, in the worst way. I want to change, but when the opportunity presents itself, I go in the opposite direction... back to the regular.

Hm............................

Haha, sorry if I've totally overestimated your issue... damn... I have a fair amount, I suppose.

ANYWAY, instead of suggesting specific activities for you to do, I'd say JUST DO SOMETHING... read a book, meet people, etc. even if you don't want to do any of those things, I think the parts you might have an aversion to are not the activities themselves, but an aversion to new things.

I'm trying my best to do this also.

[eamo]

Mid-life crisis is like the last buzz of youth has finally worn off.........that unerring confidence and dutch courage that comes with being young seems to wane away.

It's very sobering. To take stock and see who you really are. Good and bad.


Of course, it doesn't have to be a crisis. That's just a name given to it by probably neurotic Californians........for sensible people it's just a phase of life when they realize irresponsibility doesn't work for them anymore.

[J Rock]

Good god I thought I was the only lazy one around here! I'm bored with "doing stuff" and meeting new people only seems like it's a private lesson. On my days off I just want to be left alone.

I'll be thirty this December and i've felt this way for the past year. I wonder if i'll ever change or i'm gonna permanently be like this? I guess we'll see. From The UK good luck on your situation, if you figure it out let me know the secret.

[Underwaterbob]

What happened to the "music" and "art" you've been assaulting our senses with of late?

[chellovek]

Above. Yes, why not channel your potential midlife crisis into art or music? You can paint or sing about buying gaudy red sportscars, making sleazy come-ons to younger blondes, suddenly converting to Buddhism and Eastern spirituality even though you have no connections with the culture or traditions, and all that other stuff people do in a mid-life crisis.

Hell, I might even buy a bit of that type of art

[fromtheuk]

Interesting responses. Sometimes, it's the thoughtful side of this forum I enjoy the most.

I appreciate the advice, thank you.

The truth is people make me cringe. I find them to be 2-faced, rude and totally unaware of their own shortcomings. I feel I have to humour them.

I've also realized it is very rare to genuinely connect with someone.

I am basically a hermit, I don't get much pleasure out of being with people at all. In fact, I feel very uncomfortable with people, unless they are on an online forum.

I don't try anything new just for the sake of it. I would try something new if something really attracted my interest.

Outside of work, I love to be on my own, the catch 22 is I sometimes want quality company, but I feel a little miffed because I know I am the kind of person that isn't 'good with people'.

Life is full of contradictions.

[BaldTeacher]

I don't care, when I'm 40 I'll still wear my leather jacket and sunglasses and blue jeans and I'll still act cool. I'll probably look even cooler, because the stubble on my shaved head will be turning grey and maybe I'll have a few more scars by then, plus a more weathered face.

[Kaypea]

I'm not too keen on meeting new people etc, but I like to take the loner show on the road. I'm fond of transitory activities like riding busses and going to museums. Also, the more you travel, the less likely you are to bump into people who want to talk.

[shifty]

Actually, fromtheuk, I�m not going to contest that you are in fact empty, b/c I agree with this assessment. The emptiness has come to your attention by way of you being completely wrapped up in yourself.

However, I�ll be the first to admit that you have come a long way since first time on this board. Do you remember how you were always pointing out error in the posts of others? Again and again you�d say, �Please learn the English language before teaching it.� It would have been more palatable if your own posts hadn�t been riddled with mistake and alien phraseology.

How you used to tout in arrogant fashion the coming victory of Islam and make clear that you have no fellow feeling with the citizens of the country that had adopted you.

Nowadays the fromtheuk we see seems more tolerant, his posts clearly written. Long may it continue!!

You would give it extra momentum if you dropped the art, though. And with many others I�m trying to forget about the music.

What with all the inward looking and vast expanses of time wasted it seems that you do have an artistic temperament. It doesn�t necessarily follow that you have talent as well.

[fromtheuk]

See what I mean people about lacking self-awareness of one's own shortcomings?!!! And then shifty posts a comment, how fitting!

I must say shifty, your shortcoming is the fact your tone on this forum is very condescending and after I read your posts I feel like the need to take a shower.

With such an attitude, it makes it abundantly clear who is arrogant and completely self-absorbed.

Try talking down to somebody who is actually beneath you (I doubt that's possible).

It would be useful to use my words in context when trying to make a valid point. Tut-tut, some people have no shame.

Shifty in the dictionary means to be characterized by insincerity or deceit; evasive; "a devious character"; "shifty eyes." I wonder who is a full-time troll on this forum?!!

Thank you for everybody else staying on topic and not resorting to unsubtle, veiled, personal attacks!

[shifty]

In my book there are worse sins than condescension. At least I'm not on the brink of joining a jihad and getting to own a nice vest.