Korean Job Discussion Forums

LivingLight · Joined: 11 Nov 2010

My failure is like a mountain crushing my mind. I don't want to mince words, but look now for anyone who's failed badly in their life. I want to tell a short story about a recent event that took place during my sojourn in Taiwan.

I had a nice, two bedroom apartment, newly bought used furniture, comfy living. Rescued and raised four street dogs(I had rented a three story house at one time, so had a backyard,) had them there for over 3 1/2 years, loved them. Found them as 7mos old puppies.

Also had five gorgeous turtles, raised them for five years, loved them too. Breeded them, built a pond, raised fish and frogs. REALLY FELT I WAS ON TOP OF THINGS, OR AT MY BEST! Learned Mandarin, could actually understand what was said to me, spoke a little. Slept baby-like, the wafting of fresh sea air lulling my lungs to sleep. Then I woke up and all was gone.

Went to work one day and a new manager sat at the desk. Guy didn't say he was the manager, started watching my classes, gave me stares. Had two new co-workers too, these announced, one whom was cold, uncooperative. Then the owner and manager seat me one day with the cold one as the interpreter, flatly announcing that at the end of my contract they weren't going to continue with me. Said the government said they couldn't.

I knew it was a blatant lie, or so I'd thought, because the manager was just trying to oust me. Just the other day he was taking pictures of me to boost the business, ie., they wanted my face but not my person. He also knew I didn't communicate with him because I didn't want to give him the submissiveness he implicated by his presence. So what did I do?

I quit. I quit two months before my contract was due to end. But what happened?

The dogs I had to give to a woman who had a shelter, the turtles I let go. I couldn't find another job readily enough, and lived hand to mouth for two months there. Lived outside(because of my dogs,) worked at this woman's dog shelter for a month, but after cleaning cat and dog crap 7 days a week decided I'd had enough. Went on to another part of Taiwan but lived in a hovel with no screens and tainted water. So I gave up, and this after 3 years and 9 months. But my failure is this.

I'd been 100% determined to never pet dump in my life and then I went and blew it all. I gave up one of the most beautiful dogs I'd ever had in my life, and dumped five turtles I'd had since hatchlings. Now, I'm back home and have to face the "I told you so" look of my parents. Plus, I haven't been able to find a job here for two months. So my moral is this.

Do you think principles matter? I, in retrospect, had thought I was standing up for a principle. This principle was that I will not be bullied or looked down upon by an employer, and this maybe even in a discrimminatory sense. I felt the employer was singaling me out because I was foreign, even after I'd been at the job 10 mos and had great rapport with the former co-workers and the children themselves.

But I lost all, and now, face this: something greater is ahead. Thing is, sometimes innocence has to be sacrificed, and the guilt pangs at my pet loss still carve away at my heart.

This has been my worst failure.

hondaicivic · Joined: 01 Jul 2010 Location: Daegu, South Korea

murmanjake · Joined: 21 Oct 2008

OP I'm sorry about your situation. What are you looking for in this thread? Sympathy? Advice? Similar stories?

If you're looking for other sad cases then all you have to do is turn on the news. Some kid here recently set fire to his apartment, killing his entire family. All because his father pushed him too hard in school.

There's plenty more like that if you're looking for something to remind you that your situation isn't all that bad in the scheme of things.

My own worst failure isn't such a heartbreaker, I'm sorry to say, but it was a crushing defeat from which I may never recover.

It was sea kayaking.

I tried it once with a group. Tipped over 4 times in 30 minutes. I was a sopping, nervous wreck. Every little swell set me rocking spasmodically in my boat. I just couldn't learn to "go with it." I'll be flucked if I ever try that again.

LivingLight · Joined: 11 Nov 2010

I guess what I'm aiming for here is to see if anyone's ever had to stand up for what they'd thought were principles and what they'd experienced afterward. Not looking for sympathy though, and you're right, lots of sad stories exist. But this is not my intent either.

Thing is, this is not the end of the story. Soon after I'd quit that job I was given NT 10,000(U.S. $300) by a dog hobbyist. I'd been bought a ticket to fly to HK to renew my visa. I found a new job at a dog shelter with free board but again, felt it wasn't worth it taking care of 22 dogs and 19 cats and that for U.S. 80.00 a week. So again, moved on and in the process the woman's sympathetic ex gave me U.S. $350.

Was given a free apartment and place to take care of my dogs by a virtual internet stranger but the guy's father didn't like the animals. Then found another stranger who'd given me the hovel I'd mentioned above and settled in.

But I was without money by now, five dogs, five turtles, and no job. It was raining one day, lightning storm, was trapped on foot. Waited there, thinking I was going to tell the police I was stuck, my visa now overdue, etc., though the latter I could've avoided and saved all. So what happened?

I ran to the police as soon as the rain let up. Soon thereafter I found a job where they'd pay me NT 4000 weekly but then. . .

It was too late.

Now back home, I ponder. Only the future brings to light what the past has wrought in the dark, meaning, I'm trying to make sense of it all. So my real intent was to see if anyone here has ever had similar experiences, i.e., standing up for principles and losing something dear to them in the process.

Or is it just Ahn Su Kyi?

In other words, I faced democratic principles too.

Louis VI · Joined: 05 Jul 2010 Location: In my Kingdom

Underwaterbob · Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Location: In Cognito

It hardly compares, but I always feel a little guilty about the musical instruments I was once promising at, then completely gave up.

J Rock · Joined: 17 Jan 2009 Location: The center of the Earth, Suji

I'm not trying to be mean but how come you couldn't save any money after a couple years there?

Also if you really wanted to stay for the dogs couldn't you just have got a crappy teaching job for the time being, then use some of your contracts that you have made there in the past 4 years to get you a better job. Are there no jobs in Taiwan left for a teacher with 4 years experience except to clean up dog poo?

And to think I was considering over there a while back, thank gosh I didn't because I hate dog poop!

dongjak · Joined: 30 Oct 2010

So from what I understand: you didn't want to listen to your boss, quit you job, love animals but refused to clean up after them for payment and now you are comparing yourself to Aung San Suu Kyi?

Poker · Joined: 16 Jan 2010

tanklor1 · Joined: 13 Jun 2006

Well I didn't fail at this but it was a point where life royally kicked me in the balls.

During my first year in Korea I had to return home because a family emergency. That family member died and I was left with nothing besides of the things I physically owned. I found a job here in Korea again and let it all go...about 85% of what I had owned including two pets. I moved back to Korea and am still here. Doesn't really compare to your situation but there are other people out there whose life has been rough.

Epik_Teacher · Joined: 28 Apr 2010

A couple of years ago, I bought naked gold futures when it looked like gold was going to kiss $700. Fell asleep at the desk, when I woke up and found out that China raised it's interest rates overnight. I basically had my ass handed to me when the price of gold plummeted. I had over $30k riding on it, and lost BIG TIME!

oldfatfarang · Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: On the road to somewhere.

OP. You didn't fail. You just encountered life. You can expect a few more hurdles in your adult working life, and some of them are going to be really painful, i.e., fired/made redundant, cheated out of money/salary etc, death of loved ones, romantic breakups/divorce, illness and surgery etc.. These are the biggies, and most of us can expect some (or all) of them at some time in our adult lives.

The way to beat life's little problems, is to learn from them, then get over them, and then move on to brighter and better things.

"Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present"
(Under the Tuscan Sun).

Good luck.

harshlands101 · Joined: 19 Oct 2010

OP - to be fair that doesn't sound like an epic failure more a circumstances dictating a rapid demise to the good place that you were in. Failure in my books would have been you going to taiwan and leaving after 3 months because you couldn't hack it.

Dust yourself off and start again. You aren't the first person to have lost it all and you certainly won't be the last. You've done it once, and as much as it sucks to start over, get going on it!

my major epic fail is money, bust or broke on a monthly basis. Its taken me years to control my spending habits and i still fail every few months or so. Got to keep trying though!

take a rest · Joined: 15 Sep 2010 Location: self-banned

You know, a lot of people out there wouldn't have taken the animals in for starters.

But yeah, I kinda hate to say it because you seem like a nice person, but it sounds to me like you put your ego ahead of your promise. I guess the good news is that now you know how it feels, and you probably won't do it again. I think it would be more of a failure if you said to yourself 'well, I guess I'll never try to help any animals ever again', or 'wow, I let them down, but I feel okay!'... or I guess if you had just said 'F#$% these turtles, I'm outta here!'.

I think we've all known some kind of failure before (unless we haven't tried)... I don't know if someone has already said this, but to paraphrase Captain Kirk (on the subject of the Kobayashi Maru): 'Sometimes you aren't supposed to win. Sometimes it's a test of character'. And if you look at it that way, I think you passed.

Panda · Joined: 25 Oct 2008

After being in Korea for many years and seeing many different westerners.

I have realized how many of them are living in a world of only themselves ( I am not trying to be mean either), where you cant see a parent, a friend, a mentor...(very different from an Asian society)

I wonder when you were spending all the dog-shit-smell evenings in Taiwan, where were ur friends, ur families, did you ever tell anyone you were drinking dirty water...did they not tell you to go home or ...even spill some ice water into your face and tell you to wake up?

I am not saying your friends or relatives are cold-hearted, I think its your own problem that you probably never bother asking for help........

To lots of those who are having similar experience and feeling pathetic everyday of themselves, its time to talk to someone you consider trustworthy...you own yourself but sometimes a conversation with even the stupidest friends could bring you some new energy...

Well, you at least posted something online, so I am sure this is a good beginning.