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southernman
Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Location: On the mainland again
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 Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:56 am Post subject: |
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Here's my two cent's worth take it or leave it...... it's ok 
You're only 3-4 days into a 10 day holiday, so you've got time to assess what and where you want to be (although 10 days seems more like a tourist thing than a travel/self awareness thing)
So you're just in a serious rut, if I can be bold, maybe depression. Possibly, you're a workaholic, which is just a form of social depression, with more money involved 
Why not a new job, some form of online employment whereby you work for yourself or with minimal supervision. That way you can make a buck, survive and not have to talk to any of us nasty two faced people
Everyone wears various masks/disguises to get through the day. So why be upset with that, it's been going on since Adam was a cowboy
You're right though, it's hard to meet genuine people that are just the way they are and aren't two faced. I think that's one of the main reasons I enjoyed working with teenage criminals, they only wear masks when they're robbing people  otherwise, generally, their lifes an open book |
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le-paul
Joined: 07 Apr 2009
Location: dans la chambre
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 1:25 am Post subject: |
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I hear what youre saying OP.
What I did was made a list of everything I wanted to do but hadnt becasue I kept putting it off and off and off.
Then I started trying to tick everything off that list.
At the moment I have a list thats specific to Korea
I also made lists of things I havent read, war movies I havent watched, things I havent visited etc etc.
Next month I want to go ice climbing in seoul for example.
Last month I started learning french.
It may sound obsessive, but the truth is 'men love lists' and its given me some focus.
The trouble is, its very easy to get lethargic here, thats half the trouble fighting it.
Just dont give in to things that stop you from getting out and about - like sitting on here all day or turning on the telly when you could go out and strech your legs for 10 minutes. When you get back youll feel different.
You just need to give your brain a jump start sometimes. |
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McGenghis
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Location: Gangneung
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:03 am Post subject: |
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Emptiness is the blank slate wherein the annals of the emo are cast. May they weather the ages.
But for cereals. If you feel that existence is not geared toward satisfying your every need, yall might need new needs.
I heard some guy commenting on the Buddha�s bit about how life is suffering. �The Buddha said this in order to convince us that life has to be otherwise�.
I am sure that those guys are dead now, though. |
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tfunk
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
Location: Dublin, Ireland
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:45 am Post subject: Re: Are you empty? |
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| fromtheuk wrote: |
How about meeting people? I feel sickened by this suggestion. I generally don't like people very much at all. In fact, I tend to dislike them.
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You sound like you're suffering from loneliness.
You need to find the right society. Chances are, you'll have to make an effort to find it and a good start would be getting to know yourself better. I mean discovering where you're interests are based upon actually doing things, rather than trusting your thoughts about how you'd feel doing something.
You're not going to connect with people until you have something to share yourself and you won't connect genuinely with people, until you discover your own interests.
Your thoughts will justify being lazy. When you're in a funk, try and learn the distinction between your thoughts about something, and the reality itself. For example, on a Sunday I went swimming. I didn't want to go swimming, but I knew based on experience that I enjoyed swimming. Afterwards I felt energised. My thoughts wanted to vegetate at home. Try and distinguish between feelings while doing something and your thoughts about it.
Your thoughts will justify doing nothing or 'lazy' activities (TV, getting drunk).
If you're in your head too much, try doing something physical. If you're in Busan or Seoul, check out meetup.com. If you find you don't like being in other peoples presence then tolerate them for an hour or two and then it's over. But if you loathe them, or find yourself justifying in your head (or on forums) why people are unworthy of attention, then it's possible there's some underlying issue you have with people.
You won't feel empty if you have a zest or interest in something that is beyond yourself. Some people find that subject in extreme viewpoints/actions, romantic ideals (being a hermit) but they are destructive to happiness (debatable o.k).
Finally, check out the symptoms of low self-esteem (taken from http://ezinearticles.com/?Symptoms-of-Low-Self-Esteem&id=1053528 ):
* You think too frequently about yourself and seem to prefer engaging in constant self-analysis.
* You are afraid of adversity and may feel some alienation from authority figures (like parents).
* You find it hard to smile easily. Your views are pessimistic.
* You are not willing or not able to set and attain your personal goals.
* You keep to yourself and prefer to be left alone.
* You do not want to establish eye contact and find it hard to trust other people.
* You do not and are not willing to take any risks.
* You are antisocial. People find you difficult to be around with.
* You talk negatively to yourself, you find it difficult to tell the truth or keep your word.
* You cannot forgive yourself or others. You may lack empathy, compassion, and remorse |
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DorkothyParker
Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:11 am Post subject: |
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I'm not going to bother you with how weird and socially awkward I am. I totes gets what you mean, and I'm only 27!
I can't imagine ever being too tired to read. Though, I can be lazy. Sometimes I trick myself by saying: Hey DP you can either do some writing, work on your embroidery, or clean the bathroom this weekend. At least I feel like I accomplished something this way. (PS bathroom pretty much never wins).
This is a personal pet peeve, I think on topic regarding social activities: it really bothers me when people always ask "have you gone here?" "have you done such and such?" etc.
It makes me feel really guilty because I never have fun doing touristy historical/educational stuff. I mostly just feel disappointed like I should be having more fun. Like when I do it, it's only so I can take a picture and say, "here, I went here."
But I'm not empty. I have a husband, two close sisters, two cute cats, and a handful of so-so friends in America. I keep hoping I'll make a new friend someday. Aww well.
PS. Sorry for emo, mean reds. |
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dongjak
Joined: 30 Oct 2010
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:16 am Post subject: |
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This is a personal pet peeve, I think on topic regarding social activities: it really bothers me when people always ask "have you gone here?" "have you done such and such?" etc.
It makes me feel really guilty because I never have fun doing touristy historical/educational stuff. I mostly just feel disappointed like I should be having more fun. Like when I do it, it's only so I can take a picture and say, "here, I went here." |
EXACTLY! I am with you 100% on this one. |
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Globutron
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: England/Anyang
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:30 am Post subject: |
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Learn how to fight. It will change your life.
Seriously, take up a martial art. It could be judo, jiu-jitsu, kung fu, karate, taekwondo, thai kickboxing, doesn't matter. Just learn how to fight. |
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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:35 am Post subject: |
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| I'm half full. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| DorkothyParker wrote: |
It makes me feel really guilty because I never have fun doing touristy historical/educational stuff. I mostly just feel disappointed like I should be having more fun. Like when I do it, it's only so I can take a picture and say, "here, I went here." |
I'm the same, except worse. It always makes me feel emptier, because I know if I had someone I care about along I'd be having more fun. At least staying home, there are lots of things to distract me. |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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| narcissistic. If you feel empty, try volunteering your time and effort to help someone that's less fortunate than you are. Guaranteed to chipper you right up. |
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Yahowho
Joined: 21 Jan 2010
Location: Beside the McDonalds
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| Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:19 am Post subject: |
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If you're having a mid-life crisis in your late 30's then take heart - you're going to live until you are 74-78 years of age!
Wouldn't it be much worse to experience it in your late 20's!?! |
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