Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Underwaterbob]

I was once on a date and we were walking up to this lighthouse and there was a foot high chain fence across the road. I heartily mocked it's inability to keep us out, then immediately jumped, caught my foot on it and landed face first in a pile of gravel.

[Globutron]

[DorkothyParker]

I doubt it. I was kind of big into Wicca at the time. Too lazy to practice religion, though. I just like to read up on it.

Actually, the cult just may have been LDS. Not that LDS are cults necessarily, but this specific grouping of people was very cultish I was told.

[Kaypea]

[J Rock]

I have a decent one but it's not mine it's from a friend, I know it's true because his wife confirmed it.

I'll try to set this story up exactly the way he told me becuase he had a bunch of us laughing hysterically. So it all starts on how he wanted to impress his girlfriend of 6 months (who is now is wife.) So he planned a 6 day trip to Chicago (for the taste fest) and Buffalo New York (Buffalo was also having a taste fest 2 days later so the timing worked out pefect.)

So they get to Chicago have a great time see all the sights but after 2 days of eating all day he realizes that he has not gone to the bathroom. After 3 days of not going to the bathroom he got really worried, so he took 2 laxatives. He expected some results from it but nothing. The next day he again took 2 more laxatives in the morning with no results.

So they catch a flight from Chicago to New York to finish off the last 2 days of their trip. They get to Buffalo (which is where she is originally from and her parents still live there and meet them at the fest.) So now it's been 5 days and he is getting super worried about not going to the bathroom, as would most people so he then took 4 laxatives in hopes of something. They start walking around the taste fest and he is working on his first beer when he feels like he has to fart. So he tries to (and this is where I want to get what he said right) he said he felt a violent rush of water run down his leg. He looked down and since he was wearing shorts and flip flops he could see what just happened. He said it looked like blackish water all around him and his girlfriend looked at him and his future in laws just stared at him with confused looks on their faces. I guess some woman who was standing behind them saw it and screamed "oh my god!" He said it was running all down his leg and was in between his toes. All he could say was excuse me and ran off to a porta potty to finish off his explosive diarrhea session for the next 30 minutes.

So to me crapping your pants at a taste fest in public in front of your kinda new girlfriend and in front of her parents would top my list of most embarrasing moments. Thank God it wasn't me!

[Globutron]

I had Diarrhea when - ugh, Eminem just said 'I guess that's why they call it window pain'... What a terrible line. You can do better than that. - when I had this tin of sunday breakfast, which didn't exactly look new (the label was all faded and the food didn't taste real as such) and then I slept on my friends sofa.

Woke up casually going to the bathroom to realise it was running down my leg on my way up the stairs. Started to run before it got to the carpet - Luckily wearing thick jeans.

was all over the bathroom and my friends brother is like reading a book in his room with his door open right next to the bathroom which is hardly soundproof. Then I was in there for a while with the shower on to distract from the noise as it happened, and as I was cleaning the bathroom.

Then I left saying nothing to anybody and got on a bus to my place, still wearing these jeans but dried off with tissue paper a bit.

Nobody ever said anything about it...

Man, I actually have a ton of these ridiculous misfortunes. Hahaha. FML.