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depth
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
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 Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:24 am Post subject: going to Korean wedding - what gift to buy? |
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have been invited to a korean...actually i can only make it to the wedding for an hour cause i will be flying to philippines the same day..
i'm not sure what the custom is regarding gifts or money for the newly weds
if any one could advise... its appreciated
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crossmr
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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| Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:54 am Post subject: |
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| Money, 30-50k is sufficient depending on how well you know them. |
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definitely maybe
Joined: 16 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:09 am Post subject: |
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| 30,000 will come close to covering the cost of your meal in most cases. If you care about the person at all, bump it up to at least 50,000. |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:32 am Post subject: |
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| No gift. But if they are super close you could give them something after the honeymoon or before the wedding day. On the wedding day, give cash. Amounts above are right. |
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Hindsight
Joined: 02 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:42 am Post subject: Re: going to Korean wedding - what gift to buy? |
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| depth wrote: |
have been invited to a korean...actually i can only make it to the wedding for an hour cause i will be flying to philippines the same day..
i'm not sure what the custom is regarding gifts or money for the newly weds
if any one could advise... its appreciated
|
Only an hour?
It will seem like an eternity.
You're in luck. You can get food to go. When I was at one, I saw people come in and poke their head into the kitchen, get a box, fill it up with the good stuff from the buffet, and leave.
(Koreans: Don't try this in America.)
Unless this is your co-teacher or principal, or even if it is, DO NOT GO.
I was invited to one by my co-teacher, and he was astonished when I actually attended. They won't miss you and they won't care. It was polite of them to invite you, sort of, but actually it is about soaking every passing acquaintance for money. The purpose of Korean weddings is to show a profit. They don't care if total strangers show up, so long as they pay the admission fee, collected at the door, or else.
In Korea, it is all about family. You are not part of the family. Chances are, no one will make the slightest effort to make you feel comfortable or welcome because you are, obviously, not part of the family. They will do their best to pretend you aren't there.
So enjoy yourself. (Bring an MP3 player.) And let us know how it goes. |
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Jeonmunka
Joined: 05 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:14 am Post subject: |
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| I'd buy a steel helmet and a gas mask |
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bluewall15
Joined: 06 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:57 am Post subject: Re: going to Korean wedding - what gift to buy? |
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| Hindsight wrote: |
| depth wrote: |
have been invited to a korean...actually i can only make it to the wedding for an hour cause i will be flying to philippines the same day..
i'm not sure what the custom is regarding gifts or money for the newly weds
if any one could advise... its appreciated
|
Only an hour?
It will seem like an eternity.
You're in luck. You can get food to go. When I was at one, I saw people come in and poke their head into the kitchen, get a box, fill it up with the good stuff from the buffet, and leave.
(Koreans: Don't try this in America.)
Unless this is your co-teacher or principal, or even if it is, DO NOT GO.
I was invited to one by my co-teacher, and he was astonished when I actually attended. They won't miss you and they won't care. It was polite of them to invite you, sort of, but actually it is about soaking every passing acquaintance for money. The purpose of Korean weddings is to show a profit. They don't care if total strangers show up, so long as they pay the admission fee, collected at the door, or else.
In Korea, it is all about family. You are not part of the family. Chances are, no one will make the slightest effort to make you feel comfortable or welcome because you are, obviously, not part of the family. They will do their best to pretend you aren't there.
So enjoy yourself. (Bring an MP3 player.) And let us know how it goes. |
Yikes! It sounds like you had a terrible experience!
I was invited to a co-teacher's wedding a few weeks ago and it was perfectly lovely. I hardly know the woman at all, but all of her friend's and family were incredibly welcoming.
Don't worry about only being there for an hour, from what I could tell the whole celebration (greetings, ceremony and eating) only took 1.5 hours.
As for the gift, 30,000 Won would be nice, but I suspect a card and/or gift certificate would be just as appreciated.
Have fun |
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methdxman
Joined: 14 Sep 2010
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| No offense guys, but what can you do with 30,000 won? |
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crossmr
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:27 am Post subject: |
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| methdxman wrote: |
| No offense guys, but what can you do with 30,000 won? |
about 60% of what you can do with 50?
The point is that over 100 or 200 guests it adds up.
You're not trying to make your entire haul off one person. |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:31 am Post subject: |
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Never give money to Koreans at their weddings! No matter how close or distant the relationship, giving money as a foreigner is considered rude. A much better gift, and the one I used myself on numerous occasions without a hitch, is called the giving American coupon day. I saved up a lot of Sunday coupons just for things like this before i spent my year in Korea. Envelope of coupons and all is well. They open the envelope later.
Save your money to pay for important things. Like paying off student loans and such.
Cheers |
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crossmr
Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Location: Hwayangdong, Seoul
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:54 am Post subject: |
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| Frenetic wrote: |
Never give money to Koreans at their weddings! No matter how close or distant the relationship, giving money as a foreigner is considered rude. A much better gift, and the one I used myself on numerous occasions without a hitch, is called the giving American coupon day. I saved up a lot of Sunday coupons just for things like this before i spent my year in Korea. Envelope of coupons and all is well. They open the envelope later.
Save your money to pay for important things. Like paying off student loans and such.
Cheers |
???
It's not remotely considered rude.
And what exactly are they going to do with american coupons? |
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Died By Bear
Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| They like to read them and put them on their fridge so their kids can read them and then they play with them, kind of like monopoly money. Yes it is considered rude. You probably don't know the real feelings Koreans have because you're not Korean. |
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HagwonKanobi77
Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Location: Gwangju, South Korea
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:27 am Post subject: |
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You don't know the power of the dark side of the force, or the power money can have at being rude--allegedly. I too am going to a co-worker's wedding (well former co-worker as of Dec. 12th) and he want's me and the others to sing a song. That should be interesting.  |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:26 am Post subject: |
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Money is good.
Frentic doesn't know what he's talking about. |
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nero
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:10 am Post subject: |
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I suspect frenetic might be, you know, um, TAKING THE PISS!!
(or not) |
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