Korean Job Discussion Forums

[yesman]

When I lived in Japan, I was a rockstar. Everywhere I went people knew of my gaijin presence. If they wanted to have a look, it was always a discreet sideways glance, which would be snapped away if looked in their direction. Nice feeling.

Here, we're like monkeys in a zoo.

I'm well into my fourth year now and it seems my attitude toward this rudeness is changing. Previously, when I was stared at in public I would be astonished, take it quite personally, and usually respond in one of the last four ways above.

These days I'm starting to accept that I will not single-handedly change the culture. If I get upset it only takes miles off my life. So I ignore.

I was wondering, and while I know there are many other public offenses I'd love to poll about, say, getting cut in line or getting bumped, what do you do about the stares, little monkey?

[Steelrails]

Play up the rockstar bit. Walk around town like you have a soundtrack going in the back ground. Wave to the moms. Play with the kids. Most importantly talk to people and get them talking.

They'll either get so nervous they'll never do it again (schwing!) OR they practice their English (schweet!).

All the world's a stage.

I must say I really don't get this private-in-public thing many of us seem to have. Well actually I do, but I've learned (back home actually) that going out into town and being in public means being sociable, positive, and happy. And VERY tolerant and forgiving. Those same things are part of living in a neighborhood and a community.

Walking around with sunglasses, headphones, and a scowl=not cool.

EDIT- I should add that I'm in a small town where everyone knows each other. If I walk around rude that isn't good for business.

If I was in a big city I'd be much more apt to do the headphone bit. But I still wouldn't be scowling.

Anyways I'm generally a happy-go-lucky kind of person when I get out of work and go into town.

[AsiaESLbound]

I walk with ear buds and IPOD now since no one is social and I'm bored. Ignoring and having no regard for others in public places is the norm here. The jet black car windows allow drivers the luxury of sitting there looking at everyone without being looked at. No Korean and Chinese people enjoy being looked at and eye contact is definitely confrontational. I'm sure most of the time I don't see what people are doing nor care as long as they are not walking into me or running a motorbike too close. Traffic is all I really care about when out in public; not the closed minded xenophobic stereotyped people who all seem the same. Back home, we too have a lot of closed mindedness so the only thing different is you are experiencing life as a racial minority in a land lacking diversity where it's not uncommon for you to be the first foreigner an older Korean has ever seen. It's just plain weird to them, because they didn't see foreigners nor study English in their younger years.

[nomad-ish]

i just ignore it. if i stare at them and make eye contact, somebody might talk to me! but honestly, when i'm on the train or bus the last thing i want to do is start talking to a random person that i can't walk away from if it gets weird/annoying. it's usually a 50/50 chance, so i just prefer not to take it.

also, the questions i'm asked tend to be the same ones over and over again. my personal favourite: "do you live alone" (from the guys). this is why i love my iPod.

[NYC_Gal]

I usually just walk with earbuds in, but I keep the volume low so that I can hear
a) traffic
b) my kids shouting "Hello NYC_Gal!" from their hagwan buses, so I can wave
c) the same kids running up to me shouting the same thing then asking where I'm going

I do stare down ajummas and ajossis when not near my school, though, if in the proper mood. If they're frowning, I make a point of bumping into them with my handbag. Usually just I smile at people, though. Depends on my day.

[Kaypea]

There's nothing wrong with iPod listening, most people on the subways are watching movies, sleeping, or talking on the phone. You aren't making a celebrity appearance. You don't have to be "on".

I don't get stared at a lot.. maybe I'm just not interesting. I try and tune it out and not take it personally, but it's sort of annoying.

I don't really mind people talking to me, but it seems that whenever I'm reading a particularily engrossing novel on the subway, the drunkest ajossi on the subway likes to sit next to me and look over my shoulder, like he can read my book, and say "Good!" every 30 seconds or so. Does this happen to anyone else? It's friendly, I guess, but it's really annoying. (Ok, this only happened 3 times).

[Old fat expat]

There are 5 major personality traits. They are known as the big 5. One of these traits is introversion.

Introverts do not like to be stared at. It creates a level of anxiety that is intolerable. I would have thought Koreans would understand introverts, as they are generally an inward looking people themselves.

Just because I �step outside�, does not mean I want to become public property. Stepping outside does not require me to be a happy shiny person (or even have to pretend to be). When I step outside, I want to be myself. I wish to go about my business in a quite and dignified way. When I step outside I do not wish to be on display. Perhaps the OP be alluding to a desire to be treated with dignity, not as some freak.

As for tolerance, that comes to a grinding halt when they call my wife a pro, or spit in my direction, or simply give me the stare-down because my wife is young and pretty. These things are considered rude in any society. Now some think that being tolerant of rudeness is proper; I think perhaps it is more about accepting your place as inferior. Being stared at is an act of aggression (passive aggression), so really the question isn�t �why aren�t I more tolerant?�. I wonder why �they� are so provincial (that is, unknowing rude).

All the worlds a stage, IF you are an extrovert with narcissistic tendencies. Now, there is nothing wrong with enjoying your faux rock star status, just remember one size does not fit all.

Introverts make great teachers because they tend to prepare a lot more and don�t make themselves the focus of the class. God knows this place has a dearth of great teachers. Being treated like Billy Pilgrim on Tralfalmadore is just one of the reasons my sojourns from my palace of peace are kept at a premium.

[Kurtz]

I just have fun with it these days. I don't make eye contact, but I know I'm being watched. Sometimes I'll look straight ahead and wink and it's funny seeing their heads dart at me from the corner of my eye.

I know this ain't Kansas, but hell, I was watched for 15 minutes eating a pizza the other day, that's just pure ignorance. Talk about feeling like a monkey in a zoo.

[le-paul]

I find its usually older people that stare at me. Ive found that if I smile or nod at them they usually either smile back or look away. Either way, they know Ive clocked them.
If Im in the mood, I stop walking and stare back at them. Ive asked on a few occasions, korean men (in their forties) 'whey?' and that really gets their backs up - so i wouldnt recommend it unless youre prepared to get into an argument.
On principle, I hate that people staring. I know the excuse is that your 'different', but so is a paraplegic, and staring at that person isnt ok so why is it ok to stare at me?

But like I say, a smile or a nod usually breaks the rabbit in headlight trance.

[eb]

I blow em' a smoocher

[Louis VI]

[NYC_Gal]

[chellovek]

I don't get stared at much nowadays. This place is so small that there's no new novelty to be gained by looking at me because they've seen me a trillion times before.

[Radius]

Ahh the staring. I dont mind it one bit when im out....ALONE. BUT...when im with my K-girlfriend I can't stand it. She's been called Korean prostitute, b****, in Wol-mi-do in Incheon she was disgustedly looked up and down from head to feet, been openly mocked by a college-aged couple-- "Hello. Im fine, and you?" obviously remarking the fact that they thought she was with me to learn English...the list goes on.
Its gotten to the point when ive decided not to go out with her some nights because i just wasn't in the mood to be gawked at with her. Anyone ever been there?

[Kaypea]

When I'm with other western women who are attractive, tall, and blonde, men always say hello to us. Why does this happen?