Korean Job Discussion Forums

maxxx_power · Joined: 17 Mar 2003 Location: BWAHAHAHAHA! I'M FREE!!!!!!!

I thought when people get married the wife is just referred to as "Woman" or "Hey you, where's my damn sammich?"

Are they getting names now? Next they'll be expecting to vote.

I couldn't care less about my name. My brother and I are the only boys out of 20 some odd cousins and my guess is our name will die with us, oh well. I would just as soon change my last name to hers if she asked.

To each their own.

ryleeys · Joined: 22 Dec 2003 Location: Columbia, MD

It appears as though I have made serious mistakes again... something about my personality is so easily drawn into a debate. However, I need to continuously remind myself that debating is not the goal of a fairly sizeable portion of the posters on this forum.

Here's what I can gather about the philosophies of the posters around here.

1) You MUST think differently than the norm, but your different thoughts MUST conform with what "I" view is right about the world.

2) Everything you say, do, and think MUST make a political, religious, philosophical statement that is against the norm... but once again, what you say, do, and think MUST conform with what "I" view is right about the world.

3) "I" have no need to ever support my argument with anything more than "you're pathetic for having different beliefs" yet you MUST always provide at least 27 sources of information (which "I" can deem invalid should I choose) and said sources must in the end prove that you are an incompetant fool.

4) "I" have all rights at making cheap shots concerning your physical appearance, your personal life, your work life, and any other topic which I choose. You however are forbidden from said cheap shots as your feeble attempts only show your ignorance.

5) "My" assumptions are valid fact, as "I" do have the ability to read your mind. You may not refute "my" assumptions, nor may you make assumptions of your own.

Am I forgetting anything?

Last post on this thread:

I believe that I would rather marry a woman that will change her name than a woman that is adamently opposed to changing her name. This is my personal belief. I also believe it is said woman's right to refuse marriage if she views me as uncompromising on this issue.

My family name is extremely important to me as it has been and will be for countless people. I fail to see how this is different than a person "expecting" that their future spouse have a certain level of attractiveness, intelligence, perhaps religious preference, philosophies about raising children, etc. This is merely one issue that is of importance to me as I view my family name as a tradition I would like to continue. I do not believe that this tradition inflicts upon the rights of the woman, as she has the right to refuse marriage (unlike the "traditions" of slavery, suffrage, etc. that were mentioned before). In the end, I will someday look for the future Mrs. Ryleeys, not the future Mrs. Ryleeys-Kim or any other conglomeration of names. And yes, there are some things I am very "old-fashioned" about. I believe in the man paying for the woman, I believe in the man offering his coat on a chilly night, I believe in the man holding doors for the woman, etc. Call it a southern gentleman's code of behavior.

crazylemongirl · Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...

tokki · Joined: 26 Jul 2003

batman · Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 4:51 am Post subject:

Interesting how worked up people get over names.
My parents had quite a few children.
Upon marriage, half of the girls took the name of the man they married.
No problem.
The other half kept my father's last name.
No problem.
All of my brothers kept the family name.
No problem.
Some of their wives changed.
Some didn't.
No problem.
Shortly after I married my first wife I signed the form and changed my last name to hers.
She had no desire to change her name and I, being somewhat traditionalist in a hell-bent whacked out kind of way, have always believed that families should share a common name.
The out come of my experiment was a hell of a lot of paperwork (you really have to love someone to go through all that sh!t). Endless teasing from some people in my family and having one brother not talk to me for ten years because of it.
Funny for all the talk of a woman's movement, liberation and equality it is men who have very little freedom when it comes to last names.
Still haven't changed it back.
Can only submit the forms after I am back on Canadian soil for a year.
So now my family has three last names: mine, my wife's and our son's.

peppergirl · Joined: 07 Dec 2003

I am from Western Europe (Belgium) and as far as I know women don't and didn't change their family name upon marriage. I wonder if it's possible even, because you cannot change your name easily (have to go through court and have a pretty good reason to change it). So it is not a 'western' tradition, and I don't see a problem with not all family members having the same surname.

Corporal · Joined: 25 Jan 2003

Wow, people get so worked up about names. You know what Shakespeare said about it, don't you? That's good enough for me.

Koreans think it's cute when I insist that my name is Mrs. Kim. They don't really take it seriously, but that's par for the course. It doesn't offend me. When it's convenient, I use it, when I prefer to go with my maiden name, I use that. Kind of like my Canadian-ness. I'll take it on or off like a blanket when it suits me. Is that such a big deal?

I really think it is sad that this might be a cause of contention in relationships. Heck, there are so many other "good" things to fight about. Smile

Mr. Pink · Joined: 21 Oct 2003 Location: China

ryleeys,

Can I ask what is up with you are reading comprehension?

People sort of assume a context when you don't put a proper context into your posts.

Is this a marriage board or a KOREA board? So some assumed you meant marrying a Korean.

My comment said "if you are going to marry a Korean..." I figured MAYBE you were talking about girls in general.

If your only way of fighting back is to slam people for reading comprehension, perhaps they should slam you for shotty, incomplete writing.

Just a thought, but wasn't it you that posted how you hate people being the "grammar police" etc? Isn't bringing up reading sort of the same thing? (Tried to find the thread...perhaps the mods moved it...as I can't find it today)

Row · Joined: 20 Mar 2003 Location: Seoul

I changed my name when I got married mostly because I figure it will be easier when my husband tries to get residency in my country (i'm a kiwi, he's a moroccan) Why make things harder for ourselves by having different names when we'll already be asked a hundred and one questions about our relationship anyway? Haha, also because i had a pretty weird surname to start with!!!!

helly · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Location: WORLDWIDE

When my wife applied for her immigration (to the US), she was told that she was required to use my family name. All documents were prepared that way.

When we arrived in the US and went through immigration, we were told that she could use any name she wanted and that immigration in Seoul was mistaken. However, the damage had been done and her name was now legally changed.

Problems occur when trying to set herself up here. In order to open bank accounts, get driver's licenses, etc, she needed proof of identification. She didn't have any until recieving social security and immigration cards to that held her back a bit. If she had kept her own name (like she wanted to in the first place) a passport would have worked.

I also recommend combining the two name syllables into one. Example: Ji Hye (or Ji-hye) should be spelled Jihye on all documents. American processes will otherwise assume that Hye is a middle name and all documents will read Ji H.

Bottom line, get everything cleared and clarified as many times as possible so that you know what to expect when you go home.

anae · Joined: 13 May 2003 Location: cowtown

Can a Korean woman even change her name on Korean documents?
A friend of mine took Korean citizenship and she was not permitted to use her husband's name. Another woman married to a Korean wrote me to ask how I changed my name since the Korean government offices told her that it was not possible.

I took my husbands name quite happily when we married. I like the idea of everyone in the family having the same last name. It was also great to stick my foot in the door of Korean tradition and say that I won't be considered an outsider. I am a Shim too!