Korean Job Discussion Forums

[amorphous154]

I feel for you OP, I too have seen bad bruises on kids (1 student had a huge bruise around his eye), but I think the expected thing was not to talk about it.

Also sometimes the landlord of our apt building spazes out and yells at my GF when she has problems with her apt and he doesn't feel like helping. Its ridiculous because my gf who is also an English teacher, doesn't understand any Korean, and this guy has major anger problems.

The one time the landlord yelled at her when I was present, I was aobut 30 seconds away from clocking him, but thought better of it since if the cops came I would be in trouble and I dont want to always be looking behind my back for this loose cannon.

So I told her that perhaps this guy is having a real stressful time and we'll let it go, but if it happens again audio record him or get some other evidence (he gets drunk and carried home from time to time). That way, if the dong hits the fan we got something to work with.

Thing is its tough to act until we know the whole story, but we can always prepare. Its all Korean culture and its all relative though, so we have to adjust and learn which battles are worth fighting.

[Tamada]

I recently asked my uni students about whether or not they were in favour of corporal punishment in Korean schools.

Out of 150 students, over 80% said that it was necessary and should be legal.

[jvalmer]

[Tamada]

[jvalmer]

[southernman]

Yes children do lie sometimes about who has abused them but in the majority of cases they do do to protect the abuser, especially if it is a relative. That is the overwhelming stat in the west anyway.

I feel for you OP, my degree is in Social Work and I worked with abused teenagers/children for close to a decade in my home country.

If I had to guess I'd say that her father did hit her and the reason that she acted nonchalant is because it's part of her normal family routine.

Sadly, as others have pointed out we are living and working in a culture where child abuse is normalised. Think 50 years ago in the west and our countries were the same.

I've had two co-teachers hit children in my vicinity. All I have done is explain my past Govt job and what their actions would have meant in my country. Both have expressed shame and vowed never to do it again. I also told them if they did do it again I would resign and clearly state in my letter of resignation why I was resigning.

The second incident was actually today. The teacher involved was susposedly the meek/mild/ western friendly teacher out of my three co-teachers (I know the previous western teacher, who told me this) I said on my first day at my current school to the two staunch K-teachers. That I would resign on the spot if they ever hit a child when I was around.

All we can do is try keep our classrooms safe and protect our students while they are with us. Until Korean law and society changes that's basically it. That's the advice I got from a senior colleague back home. I was actually going to get the hell out of here within my first month because of the various types of child abuse I witnessed.

So my advice to you would be the same. Make sure your class is safe and show your students by your actions that physical abuse is not neccessary when reprimanding children.

I think that the reason why many of us western teachers click with our students and have them tell us personal details about themselves is that they see that we are genuine and caring. We show compassion and kindness and when we have to reprimand a student who is misbehaving we do so in a humane and fair way. Students do notice and know what is fair and unfair.

[kimiki]

all of these are good responses, esp the painfully on-point reality check from Earthquakez, and i'd like to add one more thing-- this girl reached out to you. it's true you might not be able to take the action you'd like to, to protect her in any way, but you can still convey compassion & wishes for her well-being to her. and you can do this without words. children are very wise-- she knows what was done to her was unjust. and she probably knew only you would mirror back to her the sense of shock and unfairness that she felt inside. just give her special eye contact and maybe a loving brush on her cheek. i bet she will understand both your powerlessness and hers, if you just try to convey your sincere concern i think she will sense it and sense that she has an ally somewhere in life, even if your power is limited.

[Honooko]

UPDATE!

I spoke with my boss today. She called the Korean teacher to see if the bruise had been discussed. When questioned, the girl repeated the same story that she told me.

My boss called the police, and all the teachers have been instructed to pay close attention to the girl and look for any more signs of trouble at home.

So this time at least, steps were taken!

[southernman]

Well Done, that's awesome news!!. As much as could have been hoped for in this society,sadly.

You have done as much as you can and your Director has also stepped up to the mark. I wonder what the Police will do?, if anything.

It will be interesting to see if Korean society develops and evolves into one that actually cares about child welfare instead of the one it is now. In that it only cares about children's grades and abuse is ignored or condoned.

[tek75]

Well done. I don't know you, but I am very proud of you

[TheUrbanMyth]

[eb]

If they feel they have "discipline" a woman, then so be it. At least, they're doing it for your own good, because they care about you.

[southernman]

[kimdeal54]

Good to hear an update, OP.

And I agree with theUrbanMyth... change is happening here. Earlier this year, one of my coworkers stepped in to have a child in her homeroom class removed from his father's care because he was beating him. The boy's parents are divorced, so he moved in with his mother in a different part of Seoul. The point is... the student confided in my coworker and she took enough action to help him.

[superNET]

I am going to take the opposing side here and say that since the word 'abuse' is so distorted in its application that it is often confused with real discipline. Without any honest investigation, a child's statement that her father did hit is meaningless simply because it is hearsay from aminor no less, there were no actual witnesses and the child could have been coached to obtain a desired result.

Thus to blindly assume it is 'abuse' is actually wrong and any leaps to a conclusion could and will hurt innocent people. Making unsubstantiated accusations does no one any good and will bring a lot of negative reaction upon the accuser.

So I have some simple legitimate questions I would like to ask here for those who have lept to this conclusion:

#1. Why does a westerner think that their job of assistant teacher makes them morally superior to their Korean counterpart?

#2. Why does a westerner think that his or her job as an assistant teacher makes them the boss, supervisor, principal of the Korean school teachers, in their own coutnry and who already have their own bosses who have legitimately determined what their subordinates can and can't do?

#3 Why do westerners think that their subjective definition of 'abuse' over-rules the definition of the Korean people and nation?

#4. Since this is their land, the legitimate duly elected KOREAN gov. gets to determine what is or isn't abuse, regardless of what the West thinks, do they not have the right to implement their own definitin for their own people in their own land? Again regardless of the fact thatit might offend some western sensibilities.

#5. What makes the Western definition of the word 'abuse' superior to the Eastern one?

#6. Who says the western definition and its application of the definition of the word 'abuse' is actually the correct one? Can't they be wrong?

#7. Then if the definition of the word 'abuse' is then subjective and limited in authority to each respective country, then no real standard of the word 'abuse' exists thus a westerner really can't claim that 'abuse' is taking place in this country, now can they?

#8. IF the world wants to have an ultimate moral standard, whose do they choose as all countries and people are equal thus all definitions of the word 'abuse' are equal and not greater than any other?

#9. If a country violates its own definitin of abuse, do you not think that they have become immoral nullifying their definition of the word 'abuse' because it is based upon hypocritical foundations? If a nation is hypocritical how can we trust its judgment in defining the word 'abuse'?

#10. Since the line between 'abuse' and 'discipline' has become very distorted and confused, wouldn't be prudent to establish a very clear boundary for both so that innocent people will not suffer from false accusations and witchhnts, merely because the accuser just doesn't like the way another family exercises its right to raise their family?

(I will cite the 'Witchhunt in Wennatchee' tragedy as support for these questions as too many 'social workers' have arbitrarily used their power to destroy that which they do not like. Not for real reasons of 'abuse' but merely for their own personal distaste for other people.)

Now I have kept these very general and am trying to stay away from offending anyone but I feel that the position of some of the posters is a leading cause why Westerners have trouble in this country. They take the wrong position and react wrongly, invoking an authority they do not have.

I will say I am against abuse, but it has to be truly abuse and not some subjective opinion based upon some weak sensibility that other people do not possess.

I will also say that I am for corporal punishment, if it is done correctly and that the Korean people, in their own land have the right to determine which is which without Foreigners butting in.

One specific thing I will mention, is that on eposter was forcing HIS views upon another people and I bet that he or she would be the first one to complain if se/she were approached by Christians who wanted to share their faith with him and her. Their complaint would be that those Christians were forcing their ways upon them.

Hypocrisy does not lend well to moral stands.