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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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 Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| I find it really tacky when someone insists on breaking down a bill based on what each person ordered. |
I disagree. I've known guys that would ONLY insist on breaking down the bill equally because they've consumed FAR more than others. Heck, I know a guy who would specifically target light eaters to go out with because he knew that they would then pay for a greater portion of his meal. Sometimes breaking down the bill is the only fair way and I wouldn't consider it tacky at all.
One of the worst examples of a cheapskate I recall was once when I went out to celebrate an acquintance. His best friend took a collection from everybody in attendance for the meal. Turned out the guy collected $80 more than he should have so he could pocket the extra. That's just ahole-ish behavior. That guy had no shame, even when he was forced to return the extra money to everyone. |
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Yaya
Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:18 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
My point is that it's not nickel and diming.
I agree that if it's just one person, split it. If the person is consistently doing it, though, have them pay more to cover their share. Estimate, though. I hate people who whine over chun wons. |
More people would just split it according to who ordered what, and while you don't like it, most people do it this way (or should). |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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| madoka wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I find it really tacky when someone insists on breaking down a bill based on what each person ordered. |
I disagree. I've known guys that would ONLY insist on breaking down the bill equally because they've consumed FAR more than others. Heck, I know a guy who would specifically target light eaters to go out with because he knew that they would then pay for a greater portion of his meal. Sometimes breaking down the bill is the only fair way and I wouldn't consider it tacky at all.
One of the worst examples of a cheapskate I recall was once when I went out to celebrate an acquintance. His best friend took a collection from everybody in attendance for the meal. Turned out the guy collected $80 more than he should have so he could pocket the extra. That's just ahole-ish behavior. That guy had no shame, even when he was forced to return the extra money to everyone. |
Again, you people seem to find yourselves in social situations with some unsavory individuals. That's your choice. In my experience, with the people I surround myself with these things tend to even out over time, whether it be dinner bills or bar tabs. And again, I find it somewhat odd that a social group would have such varying needs in terms of food and drink. The reason my group of friends sticks together is because we have the same tastes, and the choice to get the bottle of wine or the fois gras is a group decision. |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:23 am Post subject: |
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| Yaya wrote: |
| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
My point is that it's not nickel and diming.
I agree that if it's just one person, split it. If the person is consistently doing it, though, have them pay more to cover their share. Estimate, though. I hate people who whine over chun wons. |
More people would just split it according to who ordered what, and while you don't like it, most people do it this way (or should). |
Where did I argue otherwise? I'm all for people paying for what they've eating, and not for moochers. I'm talking about when people argue over the equivalent of a dollar.  |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:27 am Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| madoka wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I find it really tacky when someone insists on breaking down a bill based on what each person ordered. |
I disagree. I've known guys that would ONLY insist on breaking down the bill equally because they've consumed FAR more than others. Heck, I know a guy who would specifically target light eaters to go out with because he knew that they would then pay for a greater portion of his meal. Sometimes breaking down the bill is the only fair way and I wouldn't consider it tacky at all.
One of the worst examples of a cheapskate I recall was once when I went out to celebrate an acquintance. His best friend took a collection from everybody in attendance for the meal. Turned out the guy collected $80 more than he should have so he could pocket the extra. That's just ahole-ish behavior. That guy had no shame, even when he was forced to return the extra money to everyone. |
Again, you people seem to find yourselves in social situations with some unsavory individuals. That's your choice. In my experience, with the people I surround myself with these things tend to even out over time, whether it be dinner bills or bar tabs. And again, I find it somewhat odd that a social group would have such varying needs in terms of food and drink. The reason my group of friends sticks together is because we have the same tastes, and the choice to get the bottle of wine or the fois gras is a group decision. |
So because I don't eat meat or drink beer, I should only hang out with vegetarian, wine-drinking friends? Perhaps you should broaden your horizons. I don't begrudge my friends their right to eat meat around me. It smells lovely. We go out for galbi and I order soup. We go to a western restaurant and I get a soup and salad while they get steaks or burgers. Who cares? You have a narrow-minded view of what friendship is. My beloved loves a good steak. Should we have not gotten married because one of use prefers hummus?  |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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| allovertheplace wrote: |
| northway wrote: |
| I find it really tacky when someone insists on breaking down a bill based on what each person ordered. |
Absolutely, this is one of the tackiest behaviors Ive ever come across. Ive actually gotten in arguments about it. I remember sitting at a nice restaurant in Italy with 10 or so folks, we all order one meal - more or less a difference of 7-10 euros. So if we split it up it would have been 18 each. One girl out of ten throws a fit because she only ordered 8 euros worth of stuff and only drank one glass of wine and wants to pay 9 at most.
If Im a situation where I cant afford the place I just dont go...why dont more people understand this. Thrift and Cheap are a fine line. |
I think most people decide what they can afford based on what they actually order, not what restaurant they're going to. Which is what this girl did. It's not reasonable to think things like "oh I can't afford the most expensive thing on the menu, this place is out of my price range". Or "if everyone else orders a ton of drinks I won't be able to afford this".
| DorkothyParker wrote: |
Dorothy Parker is my favorite writer. My name is a punny homage. |
I feel like a stupid, because I seriously never noticed the k in your name before. |
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ESL Milk "Everyday
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| Again, you people seem to find yourselves in social situations with some unsavory individuals. That's your choice. In my experience, with the people I surround myself with these things tend to even out over time, whether it be dinner bills or bar tabs. |
This.
I can understand the whole 'we're all foreigners' thing only insofar as it doesn't result in me spending a lot of time with people who willfully exploit me. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
| So because I don't eat meat or drink beer, I should only hang out with vegetarian, wine-drinking friends? Perhaps you should broaden your horizons. I don't begrudge my friends their right to eat meat around me. It smells lovely. We go out for galbi and I order soup. We go to a western restaurant and I get a soup and salad while they get steaks or burgers. Who cares? You have a narrow-minded view of what friendship is. My beloved loves a good steak. Should we have not gotten married because one of use prefers hummus? |
My horizons are right where I want them given what I'm passionate about. And this isn't about vegetarianism, this is about money. If I'm going out with a vegetarian, I'm probably covering the whole bill given the cost differential. That said, I'm not going to go out with vegetarians very often as I actively avoid going out with anyone who is going to limit the spectrum of what we might be able to enjoy. |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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How do vegetarians limit what you can eat? They order one thing, you order something else. You're not covering the whole bill--just what you ordered.
What you seem to be passionate about is limiting yourself to a group of friends who all do the same thing. That may be fine for you, but I like a varied group. |
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madoka
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| Again, you people seem to find yourselves in social situations with some unsavory individuals. That's your choice. In my experience, with the people I surround myself with these things tend to even out over time, whether it be dinner bills or bar tabs. |
That's the point you are missing.
Is it tacky to whip out the calculator when it's a close group of friends who all order roughly the same things? Yes!
Is it tacky to calculate what everybody fairly owes when there is a wide discrepancy in what people ordered? No!
Sometimes I find myself out with people I don't know. In my example, I believe it was a birthday party for a co-worker. He invited a bunch of his friends that I never met before which is obviously his right. In that way, you can't always control who you dine with. If I run up the tab by ordering a bunch of appetizers, drinks, and desserts, I sure as hell should pay for it. Expecting others to subsidize my meal is TACKY in most every situation outside of your birthday and special occassions. |
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suwonsi
Joined: 25 Oct 2010
Location: SUWON
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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I do not believe there can be a generic behavioral rule .
It all depends on the people. More often than not, people develop bitterness for friends or housemates over money. There are people and friends who are above money, i.e., you dont care if you spend more or less on any occasion. But there are others with who it is better to share for what each person has consumed. It might look tacky but no one has any reason to complain.
Honesty about money is the best policy. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
How do vegetarians limit what you can eat? They order one thing, you order something else. You're not covering the whole bill--just what you ordered.
What you seem to be passionate about is limiting yourself to a group of friends who all do the same thing. That may be fine for you, but I like a varied group. |
My three favorite restaurants in Montreal are completely inaccessible to vegetarians:
http://www.restaurantaupieddecochon.ca/
http://www.schwartzsdeli.com/
http://www.lentrecotestjean.com/
My two favorite restaurants in Korea (Le Saint Ex and Din Tai Fung) are more or less inaccessible to vegetarians.
It's bothersome when people with dietary restrictions try to say that those restrictions have no impact on the ability of those around them to plan social events. |
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TheUrbanMyth
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Retired
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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| northway wrote: |
| NYC_Gal 2.0 wrote: |
How do vegetarians limit what you can eat? They order one thing, you order something else. You're not covering the whole bill--just what you ordered.
What you seem to be passionate about is limiting yourself to a group of friends who all do the same thing. That may be fine for you, but I like a varied group. |
My three favorite restaurants in Montreal are completely inaccessible to vegetarians:
http://www.restaurantaupieddecochon.ca/
http://www.schwartzsdeli.com/
http://www.lentrecotestjean.com/
My two favorite restaurants in Korea (Le Saint Ex and Din Tai Fung) are more or less inaccessible to vegetarians.
It's bothersome when people with dietary restrictions try to say that those restrictions have no impact on the ability of those around them to plan social events. |
How are they inaccessible to vegetarians? How are vegetarians any less mobile than non-vegetarians?
BTW the fourth item on the first menu (the piedecochon one) ahem...apparently Google Translate is not all it's cracked up to be. |
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NYC_Gal 2.0
Joined: 10 Dec 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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The French restaurants have what sound like delicious salads without meat. I don't see how vegetarians can't go. Is there a ban on vegetarians?
At a deli, one can get a meatless reuben. This isn't Korea we're talking about. Substitutions are available in the west. Let me loose at a deli pickle bar. I always had a meatless reuben and pickles when my grandpa took me to a deli.
Here, there are always options for vegetarians, even if not as plentiful. A vegetarian can always get soup, eat banchan, and have rice. Even kimchi jjigae can be made without meat if you know how to ask in Korean.
It's bothersome when people assume that vegetarians aren't willing to work with their omnivore friends. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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| TheUrbanMyth wrote: |
| BTW the fourth item on the first menu (the piedecochon one) ahem...apparently Google Translate is not all it's cracked up to be. |
Quebecois French doesn't translate. |
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