Korean Job Discussion Forums

[VanishingBoy]

Hello. I would like to know what you guys think about this situation. Though I spent the last few years in Korea, I have just begun a new job in a new town. So far, everything's been fine. Today, however, I was asked (or told) to give 30, 000 W to my principal as a New Year's gift. I already give them 20, 000 W a month for funerals & weddings (?) and consider this extra 30 a bribe. I know Korea well enough to know how corrupt it can be. If they told me that it was customary to give your superiors gifts on Seolnal, I could understand it. They are explicitly asking for money, though. I am just wondering what the community here thinks. Korea's been good to me and I don't want to rock the boat too much, but I also don't want to be dragged into a dirty game. I know that, as a foreigner, I get special treatment and I've refused these sorts of payments before. I could just use some advice on how to proceed with tact - I don't want to be osterisized for the rest of the year.

[murmanjake]

[jrwhite82]

^^ LOL!

My first week at my new school they asked me for 50,000 for the Principal's daughter's wedding. In a nice way, I told them I met him one time, and I've never met his daughter....AND I wasn't even invited to the wedding because I just started working here. I also told my CT that our school has over 100 employees (2100+ students...bigger than many Universities in the US!) and I am not going to buy gifts for every bday/baby/death/etc...It's ridiculous. If it is one of the English teachers, someone we eat lunch with, or a homeroom teacher whose class we teach, then sure. But if it is a Kingergarten teacher who I've never even seen before, no way! I didn't word it like that, I was a lot more tactful, but you have to put your foot down.

A lot of times in large businesses or schools this "gift culture" starts and it gets to be ridiculous. I feel like here in the education system it has a bottom to top direction of where all the gifts are going, which I find equally ridiculous. A guy who is already making 4-5x your income doesn't need to also receive a chunk of it in my opinion. If I was very close with my principal then, yeah, I'd buy him a gift just like I'd buy anyone who I am close with. But for some guy who I see maybe once a month.....no.

Let's add on the fact that most public school teachers do not receive Lunar New Year gifts. Then add on that as a NET or Contract KET we are the only ones in the school who do not receive Chuseok or Solnal bonuses. (Yeah, my camp CT was not too happy about that)

Give gifts because YOU want to. Don't give them because of social pressure. Tell them that where you're from, you don't give money as gifts. And as a NET and cultural ambassador of your home country, you would like to share that with Korea. If you want to give him a gift, go for it.

[jonpurdy]

The 20,000 per month for funerals and weddings is probably not a bribe. Some schools take up a collection so that if one of their teacher's gets sick, loses a relative, or gets married they can get some money from all the teachers.

I've never heard of someone having to give their principal any money as a Chuseok or New Years gift. Typically, teachers receive gifts from their Principals instead.

I'd get more information before assuming it's a negative thing. Perhaps it's a mistranslation? And let us know how it goes (out of curiosity in case there IS funny business).

EDIT: Didn't see jrwhite82's post. I should add that money for any wedding or baby's first birthday is only paid if you attend the event (and you should definitely cough up if you do). But if you don't attend you're off the hook.

[UknowsI]

It sounds a little fishy, but if they have prepared new years gifts for you but you don't pay a part of it you'll look very rude. Since this is the first time you're there I would have paid and hoped for the best. You might get something back for it which you are not aware of. However, if it's simply a gift to your boss then I wouldn't have paid, but hard to know by now. To me it would just be too risky to get off at a wrong start just for 30k.

[schwa]

I always chip in without question to office fund-raisers. I view it as a chance to earn favor as an equal colleague.

True, I dont get the same holiday bonuses. Also true, my contract includes quite a few benefits some K-teachers might reasonably resent. It balances.

I'm confident they'd pass the hat on my behalf if need arose.

[oldfatfarang]

Something tells me that you're screwed both ways. If you give money - you'll be asked again, naturally.
If you don't give money - well - you're not part of the group (and we all know what that means in PS)>

Good luck.

PS: I wouldn't pay it if he was starving. Korean gift culture gives me the ...... I give my excess money to people who really need it (beggars, homeless, disadvantaged students etc), not public service fat cats.

[jvalmer]

My first guess it's a mistranslation for something. Anyways, I've been here 7 years with 5 different schools and have never been asked to give money unless it's for a funeral wake that I decide to go to, some teacher's trip and some fund for various things.

[BoholDiver]

I think gift culture is BS too. If I gave 50,000 everytime someone got married, died, baby, etc, I'd go bankrupt. I have contact with too many people.

I must note that I did not receive a single gift at Chusok last year or Lunar New Year (now). I work at 6 different places and none of them gave me a single thing. I am not angry about this, but I won't forget it either. It also gives me a 'I am not giving anything to anyone else either' card I can play.

[happiness]

yeah, i get you. heres one, 2 of my students, sisters, who graduated 3 years ago came back with their moms wearing hanbok to bow to me for new years and my boss gave them 10 each and i gave one. I HADNT SEEN THEM FOR 3 YEARS! you know the mom was just milking it or maybe they had a tough year, who knows? But I was surprised. When society doesnt have set rules for socail conduct except defference, all kinds of weird stuff come up. i say pay it.

[NYC_Gal 2.0]

I'd bring in a gift set and say that I'd already purchased it, before being told about the money. Give it to him, bow, and wish him a happy new year.

[enchoo]

If you have a full time job and your parents don't, you make a donation!
If you don't have a full time job, then your parents make a donation.

Using the same analogy, your principal makes more than you, so you should get a donation, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

[BoholDiver]

I don't believe it to be equal. I am not screamng racism, but in any culture like this, someone is getting more than their share. I agree with happiness.

This reminds me of some BS that happened in 2007, at the beginning of the year. My wife's friend's grandmother died and my wife says we should pay her some money. I said no but then she got real upset and said we owe it to her, blah blah blah. In the end I gave the money and made it clar that this will never ever hppen again for a non-family member. She got angry and I asked this question: "If/when my grandmother or grandfather dies, will I get anything?"

Later that year my (maternal) grandfather died and in early 2010 my (Paternal) grandmother died. I didn't see one red cent. Screw you and your customs Korea.

[Caffeinated]

I bribe them with donuts.

[Radius]