Korean Job Discussion Forums

[bobbybigfoot]

Op,

You seem to have lost sight of the number one cardinal rule in Korea:

(1) Education is a business. The parents are customers.

You are here for a business reason not an education reason. You are not a teacher. You are an employee.

NEVER tell your customers their kids are cheaters unless your boss specifically tells you to do so and I don't think there is a single boss in Korea who would do such a thing.

I made a similar mistake awhile back before I realized my role in Korea (that of an employee NOT that of a teacher): I used to grade children based on merit. Now I grade children based on what my employer wants to see. Everybody passes and 90% get an A. The rest get a B.

That's how they want it in Korea.

Eat humble pie then fall into line if you want to continue working in Korea.

[Lastrova]

Self-censorship is a critical attribute in dealing with hypersensitive people. Turn the phrase around so it doesn't come across as criticism. Sure you complimented the child, but that is not what they will notice. They will notice and focus on the slight. It is a business. It is about pleasing the customers as the primary directive. You can still be a good educator, but you can't be blunt. Try this: "While you're child sometimes copies other children, today she did the work on her own. She is starting to develop confidence!"

Chronic copying isn't necessarily cheating in this light, but a lack of confidence. Big difference. Also, there is a sinister subtext to the word cheating: the child is lazy, opportunistic, and cunning. Pretty heady stuff for a 5 or 6 year old.

[thegadfly]

Angma,

Do you want to be "right," or do you want to be an effective teacher?

Seriously -- will you let your pride get in the way of being a better teacher than you are now?

From the original post, I thought you were actually trying to become better, but apparently you think good enough is good enough. You may indeed be pretty good in the classroom, but anyone who closes themselves off to constructive criticism from more experienced professionals is never going to be much better than pretty good.

The majority of the advice was that negative phrasing does not ADD anything to a class, and can have adverse effects on student morale, parent-teacher interactions, and your perception by administrators -- which is pretty much what happened to you. No one blamed you for this lapse -- it is part of the learning curve for folks who choose this as a career. Those of us who have been in teaching for a while have all been there.

Now, doesn't it seem obvious that if a method or practice does not ADD any value to your teaching, but can, and often does DETRACT and DISTRACT from your goals, that the method or practice should be abandoned? How can you not see that?

You are trying to defend an indefensible position. You do not call a kindergarten student a cheater -- end of story. Your diction is wrong, and it has caused a problem where there should not have been a problem.

Now, if I called you some negative names that are used to describe a person who refuses to change behavior or opinion, even in the face of an outpouring of evidence that the behavior is harmful, would that inspire you to change? Since the reasoned, logical, polite discussion has failed to move you, will ad hominem attacks do it?

No -- if someone attacks you, you will become defensive -- it is human nature. You will decide to ignore the person and that person's advice.

You've been given a lot of good advice, and instead of thanking folks and thinking about how you could have done it better, you are going off about how you have been using this harmful label for a while, and it hasn't been working for a while.

If what you are doing isn't working, try something else.

People in this thread have suggested the something else to try.

Open your eyes, look at what the experienced teachers have told you, quit rejecting things because you feel hurt, suck it up, and improve. it stings -- I know. I have had to eat my share of crow and then some, but the folks that refuse to do so are refusing to improve, which does not seem very wise to me.

I thought you were wiser than that. I thought you were better than that. I would like to be proven right.

[ThingsComeAround]

you are a kindy teacher griping about "cheaters"?

get a grip!

[thegadfly]

[Wiltern]

[yoja]

[thegadfly]

[bobbybigfoot]

[thegadfly]

[oldtrafford]

Oh boy, I'm going to get grief for my two pence, but anyway here it is: Korean kids are never wrong over a mucky foreigner, in fact koreans are never wrong of a mucky foreigner. Koreans are always, and I repeat always right when it comes to foreigners. You called the kid out for cheating, perhaps the word cheating was a bit strong. However, it is what it is, you called a spade, a spade, and now mommy, and daddy don't like it. They in turn behave like children to the point that they're trying to turn the rest of the parenrs against you. Totally sad and pathetic, and it's nothing more than face saving. Lying and cheating is endemic in their culture, you tried to right a wrong, nip a bad trait in the bud. Don't bother, you're wasting your time, the child in question will cheat to their grave if they can get away with it, and he'she is no different to the rest of them.

Read Michael Breen's 'the Koreans who are they and what do they want' it gives a great insight into why cheating is so culturally acceptable. I work with adults, they cheat all the time. Like I tell them, and like the old saying goes 'You're only cheating yourself!!'

[Wiltern]

[RMNC]

As much as I admire you for trying, you're not seeing the forest from the trees. I hate to use the old "it's a business" thing, but the LAST thing you want to do is criticize or give parents any reason to pull kids from a hagwon. Your comment on her paper had good intentions, but ultimately was the wrong way to go about it. The foreign teacher isn't a real teacher, and any criticism they give Korean kids is simply a cultural "misunderstanding" at best or slander at worst. You're better off just letting it slide. They have another 12 years of being worn down by the Korean public school system to deal with the cheating. Sure, tell the kid not to look at the paper of others in class, but anything more than that might come off as a backhanded compliment.

In the future, just pat the kid on the head and usher them out the door, smiling, with your paycheck in your hand. It's kindergarten, for Kim's sake.

[jrwhite82]

I thought I'd share this with you OP:

This is from Erik Erikson - a very influential child psychologist.

[willteachforfood]