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The fish that judge you -- observations of Korean culture
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MoneyMike



Joined: 03 Dec 2008

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

While I do believe that there are some Koreans that I have more in common with than certain Canadians, I don't think that in any way proves your point Steelrails.

The point you're trying to make (correct me if I'm mistaken) is that regardless of culture, people are essentially the same everywhere. But when I pointed out how common rape is in South Africa, your response was to say that this is just a small sub-culture within South African culture. Regardless, I still maintain that they (gangs of youth who openly live a lifestyle espousing rape) are incredibly different from me. So are you saying that a sub-culture CAN cause big differences, while the more general culture, (of which a sub-culture is a part) can't? That doesn't seem logically consistent.
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exit86



Joined: 17 May 2006

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

cedar:

Good point about Nahm. Though 15 or 20 years ago he was good in that he was one of very few historians writing in English with a bit less of the standard K. historian brain-washed slant, today he is very much irrelevant, particularly in light of the very balanced scholarship coming out from outside Korea--the only way to write about Korean history in a free and honest manner.

I just want to find out about this nonsense about eye examinations to determine "foreign" individuals. Honestly, I think matthew (the poster who mentioned this) has no reliable source on this, though he was nice enough to offer Nahm; so, i'll take him at his word and see what Nahm says, though I know Nahm should always be taken with a few containers of salt.
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earthquakez



Joined: 10 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

While I think Steel Rails has made some perceptive points I do think that he/she has also artificially diminished the cultural differences that Koreans display in all kinds of ways including the topic of this thread. This is not a criticism, it's just my observation of what was otherwise a great post.

No, Koreans are not at all like most people from Anglo/Celtic/European backgrounds that are the predominant group of immigrant countries such as the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and the US (although the US is changing its composition) and whose culture provides what are still the political, legal, social and cultural norms of those countries despite multiculturalism, in key ways of seeing others and expectations of how they will behave.

Of course we care what others think of us but to see it as similar to the way Koreans care what other Koreans think of them is just not valid. Koreans whether they like it or not are similar to the Japanese and other Asians broadly speaking in the sense of others always watching and keeping them in line by that act. 'Westerners' in the sense I referred to before in the immigrant countries most English teaching foreigners come from quite some time ago sloughed off the excessive concern Koreans have about what other Koreans think, even those they have never met but who claim to be able to tell them what to do and how to dress etc because they are older or come from a 'better' class. This stifles freedom of thought and expression.

It results in the idea that a mediocre sameness is better than standing out, better than difference. You can see it in the ugly apartment buildings which most Koreans do not see as anything but a normal way to live, nearly everybody lives that way, there is no real privacy and most importantly of all, the lack of diversity and the continual presence of others is needed by Koreans.

The UK has been noted for class distinctions but the working classes developed their own ways of doing their own things - in relatively recent times from the 50s onwards what was then Great Britain had distinct youth movements with their own fashions and lifestyles. John Lennon was the only Beatle who came from the middle class and even then it was the lower middle class via his tearaway Mother's respectable family.

The Mods etc gave way to more angry movements like punk in the 70s which was a hugely working class movement and which also paved the way for other music/other cultural movements with its 'do it for yourself and create your own fashion/expression of your identity'. On the other hand the French were laughed at for trying to copy these Brit cultural expressions of the youth and not succeeding. But they had their own strongly political culture, mostly left wing, that challenged another, just as or even more, classbound society in France.

The whole point of these movements (and there were others in Europe) was having the opportunity to develop your own ideas and be part of things without worrying too much or at all about what older people or those from the privileged classes or the ruling classes thought. This is lacking in Korea and always has been. In Japan the flowering of art and other cultural and political expressions was briefly in the 20s and came about through the foreign influences that Imperial Japan stamped out.

In the countries most of us come from the idea of conformity has been challenged in different ways for longer than the 20th century. Take a country like Australia where their traditional English-Scottish-Irish-Welsh culture has produced national leaders who refer to their own party elites by their first name publicly, the different party members call each other by their first names, and there's a familiarity with politics among the average person.

Australians talk more about politics and serve it to their politicians inlcuding their Prime Ministers more than any people in the UK or any other people I've met. There's far more of a democratic attitude there as in ordinary people thinking they're as good as anybody in Australia than I've encountered anywhere including in the US. That attitude is not new there, it came with the successive waves of convicts and immigrants.

When you have attitudes like that and those generally in our immigrant countries that were founded by the British, there is also far less of a sense of heirarchy and caring so much about what others think. 'Mind your own business' is an old and still widely held concept in the UK and hundreds of years ago ordinary people said that as Englishmen their home was their castle. That's directly opposed to how Koreans, Japanese and other Asians view themselves.
Heirarchies exist in our countries but conformity just does not have the same expectations it does in Korea and other countries like it.

From what I've seen and heard Koreans are overly burdened by the desire to keep others in their place and they also conform to being kept in their place. I have to say Korean kids and young people exhibit far more envy of those who do something or have something they don't do or don't have Embarassed , and its expression in daily life is without embarrassment. I've first hand heard from friends with nice houses that they made the mistake of showing photos in class when discussing their country's lifestyle and the responses from their students were mostly discontented, envious ones with negative comments about how 'selfish' their family and foreigners were. Rolling Eyes

A case in point is the thread here by Jeunesse in which this poster has become distressed by the negative attitudes of Koreans regarding other Koreans inviting a foreigner to dinner - this thread reminds me of just why I am keen to get out of Korea and live again among more open minded, less bullying people. If Koreans don't want to invite a foreigner to dinner fine but they then get jealous and resentful when another Korean does so. Rolling Eyes

Envious people generally in our countries are not presented as people to follow the dictats of, nor are people who continually harp about others' appearances and presume to tell them what they should look like.

This behaviour is part of human nature but how acceptable it is is something that definitely distinguishes cultures and Korean culture has a big envy component and a need to put others (including strangers) in what is seen as their 'place'. Yes Koreans are overly concerned with appearances and from my experience they are not discouraged from being envious and jealous because of the idea they should all be given the same thing regardless of how little they contribute.


Last edited by earthquakez on Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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ZIFA



Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Location: Dici che il fiume..Trova la via al mare

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

earthquakez wrote:
From what I've seen and heard Koreans are overly burdened by the desire to keep others in their place and they also ....exhibit far more envy


To get the full atomic force of both of these traits, walk down the street in close consort with two good looking korean women.
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legrande



Joined: 23 Nov 2010

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ZIFA wrote:
earthquakez wrote:
From what I've seen and heard Koreans are overly burdened by the desire to keep others in their place and they also ....exhibit far more envy


To get the full atomic force of both of these traits, walk down the street in close consort with two good looking korean women.


Hell, that'd work most anywhere.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
So are you saying that a sub-culture CAN cause big differences, while the more general culture, (of which a sub-culture is a part) can't? That doesn't seem logically consistent.


A subculture is but a small part of the overall culture. For comparisons sake, comparing South African youth gangs to say, African or Western or Australian or Korean culture is off the mark. The gangs do not represent South African culture. That would be unfair to the other 95% of South Africa's population.

A subculture is but a component of the whole. Sometimes a very small one. Once you look at the greater whole the differences start to decline- All cultures have gangs and have a tendency to have their young men engage in violent acts.

Gang bangers in Korea or the US or South Africa have more in common with each other than a normal Korean or American or South African. A South African teacher has more in common with his Korean or American counterparts.

The key factor here is not ethno-culture, but gang-culture. Again, we should be careful not to attribute to ethno-culture what may be an act of some other type of culture.

To earthquakez- First and foremost, thank you for writing a well-thought out post.

A few quick comments/questions (in a bit of a rush)

If our cultures are so vastly different then how come East Asians are referred to as "The Model Minority" and praised for their ability to assimilate?

As for westerners not caring what others think about how they dress I just have to wonder at Glamour Magazine, Style Network, and the mall back home. Clearly someone, somewhere is telling them how to dress and they feel pressure to adapt to it. I don't think that those people are shopping there to "express themselves". Even those who dress in an "independent" fashion are often themselves conforming to the group they are around. Think hippies or goths all dressing the same. If one of them were to show up amongst their circle of friends wearing something from H&M they'd be ostracized. Likewise weather its amongst corporate Koreans or farmers or Hipster kids or wannabe hip-hoppers in Korea, Koreans have this same conformity of style.

As for the apartments, a big part of that is due to sheer population density. But plenty of Koreans live in houses as well. But I will agree that the apartments are not that aesthetically pleasing. Although one must remember the subdivisions back home with street after street of variations on a theme. And wasn't it us that gave the world the Trailer Park and the Levittown?

As for Koreans not having any independent streak or having a single vision of government. Uhm, North Korea? Gwangju Massacre? Since achieving popular elections the South Koreans managed to elect an opposition party within 10 years (most democracies go through a long period of one party rule before the opposition wins)

Quote:
nor are people who continually harp about others' appearances and presume to tell them what they should look like.


Shocked

The fashionistas that hang on to everything they wear? Comedians who laugh at white kids dressing hip-hop? Shock Jocks who will make people the butt of jokes for how they dress?

No envy? Wait until your kid is 16 and they have to buy their own car while Richie Rich's parents buy him a brand new car. Or wait until your daughter goes to Veronica Lodge's Sweet Sixteen party. And there plenty of people still carrying that envy with them into adulthood. Look at the chips people carry on their shoulder with terms like "trustfund baby". People who rip on someone for their parents paying for their car or college ARE idealized. But guess what? That is nothing but jealousy and envy. I'm sorry but only an idiot would turn down a free college education and a free car.

Quote:
I've first hand heard from friends with nice houses that they made the mistake of showing photos in class when discussing their country's lifestyle and the responses from their students were mostly discontented, envious ones with negative comments about how 'selfish' their family and foreigners were.


I guarantee if you walk into a poorer area and give a PPT of your country's great lifestyle back home to a bunch of UK and USA kids, you'll get the same reaction. People can pick up when you condescend.

Alright Cousinsex, Alabama Let me show you how we do things on Long Island- "Here's me jetskiing. Here's our yacht. Here's my favorite French Restaurant. Here's the mall I go to." and on and on. Again, not necessarily culture, but economics.

I bet if you showed that lifestyle to a bunch of stinking rich Korean kids they'd all snort and be like "So what? You've been to France, great for you. I've lived in America and Singapore and traveled to 20 other countries". Economics, not culture.

Same with the inviting a foreigner to dinner. Amongst the wealthy and upper-middle class, no one cares. Everyone's done it. It's a chance to talk about those two years they lived in the States with someone who actually won't be ticked off to hear about it. Now amongst poorer people that classism will creep up again. The poorer people are, the greater the tendency for prejudice.

Now with all that being said, I would say that the things you mentioned are certainly to a greater degree present here, at least in an overt manner, amongst the middle class. The middle class in Korea is far more envious and insecure than the middle class in America/The West. I would submit that Korean middle class here is like the middle class in 1950s America. They've come out of lean times and are in a boom. Combine that with a sexual revolution that is like a toned-down version of the 60s and you get some of what you see.

This goes to my other "big thing"- That there is nothing in another culture that we can't look in the past of our culture and say "Hey, this exactly what we did". Conformist housing? Check. Hierarchical Business model? Check. Hyper-Class Consciousness in the wake of large chunks of the population being exposed to consumer goods they never before had the chance to purchase? Check. "Guess who's coming to dinner?" Check. A re-balancing of sex and gender norms and the angst that accompanies it? Check.

In fact we are still dealing with a lot of these issues in our own culture.
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cybermutiny



Joined: 02 Mar 2010

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ZIFA wrote:
earthquakez wrote:
From what I've seen and heard Koreans are overly burdened by the desire to keep others in their place and they also ....exhibit far more envy


To get the full atomic force of both of these traits, walk down the street in close consort with two good looking korean women.


Haha...totally ZIFA.

Whenever I'm with my girlfriend and we get into a conversation with an older Korean, after we leave (since I can't understand Korean) my girlfriend tells me how the older people expressed disapproval for her being with me.
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Jeunesse



Joined: 11 Nov 2009

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why is Steelrails so interested in downplaying cultural differences? I think we can acknowledge that human beings are generally pretty similar while still organizing themselves around different priorities as a society. The social concerns of Koreans are <i>usually</i> the same as social concerns for anyone else, but the way in that they're ordered may be different from, say, a Brit - and that's interesting, I think.
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Jeunesse



Joined: 11 Nov 2009

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:


Same with the inviting a foreigner to dinner. Amongst the wealthy and upper-middle class, no one cares. Everyone's done it. It's a chance to talk about those two years they lived in the States with someone who actually won't be ticked off to hear about it. Now amongst poorer people that classism will creep up again. The poorer people are, the greater the tendency for prejudice.
.


Except in my situation all of the families involved are relatively well-off - no one who complained was "poor" or even lower middle class.
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Chalmers



Joined: 20 Oct 2008

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh...so you have a korean girlfriend. ok.
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Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find all this talk about Westerners being non-conformists quite interesting.

I'm not sure where all of these Westerners grew up, but I know that where I grew up, people were often beat down if they didn't conform.

Now, the ideals of what to conform to were different...sometimes vastly so, but there was still a lot of social pressure.

I just think that the West and Korea vary in terms of expression of enforcement and, to a lesser degree in some areas, the ideal target.
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atwood



Joined: 26 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Steelrails"]
Quote:

This goes to my other "big thing"- That there is nothing in another culture that we can't look in the past of our culture and say "Hey, this exactly what we did". Conformist housing? Check. Hierarchical Business model? Check.

Besides all your other sterotypes, generalizations and simplifications, I've chosen this one to show how all your blather is just that, blather. "Exactly" the same. Nothing is "exactly" the same. For example, unless you were a slave, the American business model has never been as hierarchical as the Korean one.

Maybe you're just intellectually lazy, or your we're all the same kumbayah rap wins you brownie poiints with Koreans and makes it easier to cadge cigarettes and soju off of them. Either way, you're deluding yourself.
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atwood



Joined: 26 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Steelrails"]
Quote:
Bowing is not a fundamental difference.

Yes it is. Case in point is the storm Obama's bowing to foreign leaders raised.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Besides all your other sterotypes, generalizations and simplifications, I've chosen this one to show how all your blather is just that, blather.


Quote:
Conformist housing?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Levitt

Housing Project?

Suburbia?

McMansions?

Those aren't Korean terms and all of them are conformist housing.

Quote:
For example, unless you were a slave, the American business model has never been as hierarchical as the Korean one


Yeah, that 1/3rd of the Southern population, we can just throw them out of the equation. I mean they were just negro slaves after all. They don't really count when it comes to talking about cultural practices and all....

So the Triangle Shirtwiast Company, The Jungle, Trust Busting, Strike-Breaking and 1950s Seniority systems were what? Korean imports to America?

Do you really believe that America and England were these paradises of free-thought, tolerance, and creativity between 1800-1960?

Quote:
Yes it is. Case in point is the storm Obama's bowing to foreign leaders raised.


Not exactly speaking well of the tolerance of the West, considering no one in Korea flips their lid if Lee Myung Bak shakes hands.

But it is not a fundamental difference because for a long time bowing was the custom in England, they too found hand-shaking off-putting.

To say nothing of the fact that if it had been W. Bush (or Reagan) that had bowed all those people who flipped their lid wouldn't have said a peep. See, I actually know something about American culture.
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happiness



Joined: 04 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ill just say it like this:

the needs may be similar. motivations are different. thus the results are different.
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