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Triban
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Location: Suwon Station
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 Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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Earlier you let people's forum comments control how you feel 
Loosen up!  |
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Summer Wine
Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Location: Next to a River
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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Marzipoo, just wait till you get here.
You may find it ok, you may find yourself spacing out on the issues.
Its difficult to say how someone will handle Korea. I have met people who after they arrived would tell me that I was jaded and bitter and that Korea was nothing like I said.
6 months they were back looking for a shoulder to cry on. 1 piece of advice, when you get here, just listen for the first 6 months, dont try to tell the old hands how great Korea is, its difficult having to eat ones words I found (also most people I met had rose coloured glasses for the first 3 months).
Most people who have been here a while are just trying to help you out, by telling you what to look out for. It may sound like bitching, but its more about just letting people know what to expect.
Though after you have been here a while, all bets are off. You may be happy staying another 5-10 yrs or you may just lose it one day and leave. Korea is quite unique I have found, even living in Asia before doesn't mean that you will automatically love Korea or that you will hate it.
Korea, love it or hate it, it can be quite a ride. |
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Marzipoo
Joined: 10 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Triban wrote: |
Earlier you let people's forum comments control how you feel
Loosen up! |
Actually I was just pointing out how rude and unnecessary that comment was.
Yeah, foot models have it SO hard. |
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Triban
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Location: Suwon Station
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Marzipoo
Joined: 10 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Summer Wine wrote: |
Marzipoo, just wait till you get here.
You may find it ok, you may find yourself spacing out on the issues.
Its difficult to say how someone will handle Korea. I have met people who after they arrived would tell me that I was jaded and bitter and that Korea was nothing like I said.
6 months they were back looking for a shoulder to cry on. 1 piece of advice, when you get here, just listen for the first 6 months, dont try to tell the old hands how great Korea is, its difficult having to eat ones words I found (also most people I met had rose coloured glasses for the first 3 months).
Most people who have been here a while are just trying to help you out, by telling you what to look out for. It may sound like bitching, but its more about just letting people know what to expect.
Though after you have been here a while, all bets are off. You may be happy staying another 5-10 yrs or you may just lose it one day and leave. Korea is quite unique I have found, even living in Asia before doesn't mean that you will automatically love Korea or that you will hate it.
Korea, love it or hate it, it can be quite a ride. |
You're right, it is impossible to tell how somebody will handle it.
I will definitely remember not to tell the oldies how great Korea is. Juuust in case I hate it. Plus, I am 99.9% sure it is not going to be the coolest place I have been anyway and I will not spend time defending it. Defending people, however, I will always do.
And when I hate it there, I don't think I'll be crying on the shoulders of somebody I just met a few months ago. I will naturally be on Skype sobbing to my family, boyfriend, friends, dog, neighbors, and mailman about how awful Korea is.
I understand that it is mostly probably just a warning about what negative things to expect but I guess I just have little tolerance for people that complain about something and do nothing to fix it or change the way they think about it and accept it. |
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shifter2009
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Location: wisconsin
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Marzipoo wrote: |
I guess it is different for men. I think women are more used to random creeps talking to them when they just want to be left alone. I would say that it is a normal occurrence for people you would rather not talk to to try to make conversation with you no matter how uninterested you try to look and sound. It is not just a Korea thing.
Yes, it's annoying. But is it really worth complaining about? |
Oh just you wait for the first cab driver to try and grope you. Some of the horror stories girls have told me, ugh. But maybe you'll get lucky and not experience any of that stuff but don't go thinking its just like home. |
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Triban
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Location: Suwon Station
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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| shifter2009 wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
I guess it is different for men. I think women are more used to random creeps talking to them when they just want to be left alone. I would say that it is a normal occurrence for people you would rather not talk to to try to make conversation with you no matter how uninterested you try to look and sound. It is not just a Korea thing.
Yes, it's annoying. But is it really worth complaining about? |
Oh just you wait for the first cab driver to try and grope you. Some of the horror stories girls have told me, ugh. But maybe you'll get lucky and not experience any of that stuff but don't go thinking its just like home. |
http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=202477&highlight=midnight |
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Marzipoo
Joined: 10 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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| shifter2009 wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
I guess it is different for men. I think women are more used to random creeps talking to them when they just want to be left alone. I would say that it is a normal occurrence for people you would rather not talk to to try to make conversation with you no matter how uninterested you try to look and sound. It is not just a Korea thing.
Yes, it's annoying. But is it really worth complaining about? |
Oh just you wait for the first cab driver to try and grope you. Some of the horror stories girls have told me, ugh. But maybe you'll get lucky and not experience any of that stuff but don't go thinking its just like home. |
A cabbie is going to try to grope me...?  !
I am always careful, even at home. I know that no place is safe for ladies so we gots to be extra careful and carry pepper spray.
Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
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Triban
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Location: Suwon Station
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Marzipoo wrote: |
| shifter2009 wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
I guess it is different for men. I think women are more used to random creeps talking to them when they just want to be left alone. I would say that it is a normal occurrence for people you would rather not talk to to try to make conversation with you no matter how uninterested you try to look and sound. It is not just a Korea thing.
Yes, it's annoying. But is it really worth complaining about? |
Oh just you wait for the first cab driver to try and grope you. Some of the horror stories girls have told me, ugh. But maybe you'll get lucky and not experience any of that stuff but don't go thinking its just like home. |
A cabbie is going to try to grope me...? !
I am always careful, even at home. I know that no place is safe for ladies so we gots to be extra careful and carry pepper spray.
Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
I think it could actually be an issue since you are a foreigner and the police might believe him over you and you would then have to pay blood money. Molestation/rape punishment is severely lacking in Korea. Don't take cabs alone as a woman in Korea. I haven't had a friend personally experience it, but I've heard stories/seen some sketchy stuff. |
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Marzipoo
Joined: 10 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Triban wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
| shifter2009 wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
I guess it is different for men. I think women are more used to random creeps talking to them when they just want to be left alone. I would say that it is a normal occurrence for people you would rather not talk to to try to make conversation with you no matter how uninterested you try to look and sound. It is not just a Korea thing.
Yes, it's annoying. But is it really worth complaining about? |
Oh just you wait for the first cab driver to try and grope you. Some of the horror stories girls have told me, ugh. But maybe you'll get lucky and not experience any of that stuff but don't go thinking its just like home. |
A cabbie is going to try to grope me...? !
I am always careful, even at home. I know that no place is safe for ladies so we gots to be extra careful and carry pepper spray.
Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
I think it could actually be an issue since you are a foreigner and the police might believe him over you and you would then have to pay blood money. Molestation/rape punishment is severely lacking in Korea. Don't take cabs alone as a woman in Korea. I haven't had a friend personally experience it, but I've heard stories/seen some sketchy stuff. |
If I feel threatened enough to pepper spray some dumb cabbie I'm not going to wait around for the cops to come! So I guess I just answered my own question- nope, won't get in trouble. Thanks for pointing that out. |
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Triban
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Location: Suwon Station
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I saw a bus driver get out of the bus and literally fist fight this adjeosshi once. Anything can happen, just don't cab solo. |
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Marzipoo
Joined: 10 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Fox wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
| Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
You can get in trouble for harming a Korean in any way, even if it's self defense, defense of your own property, or even accidental in an attempt to save them. Spraying pepper spray in someone's eyes here is not going to go down well, especially if it prevents him from inflicting any visible harm on you. And remember that westerners are both registered and rare here. In a lot of towns it would not be harm for them to hunt you down if you sprayed pepper spray in some cabbie's eyes and then fled the scene, and you'll seem all the guiltier for having run. You could probably get away with it in Seoul. |
Yikes! So how is a lady to defend herself? How does any human being, Korean or not, not understand the need for a chick that's the size of the average 6th grader to have some way of keeping a creep from coming at her or groping her? |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Marzipoo wrote: |
| Fox wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
| Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
You can get in trouble for harming a Korean in any way, even if it's self defense, defense of your own property, or even accidental in an attempt to save them. Spraying pepper spray in someone's eyes here is not going to go down well, especially if it prevents him from inflicting any visible harm on you. And remember that westerners are both registered and rare here. In a lot of towns it would not be harm for them to hunt you down if you sprayed pepper spray in some cabbie's eyes and then fled the scene, and you'll seem all the guiltier for having run. You could probably get away with it in Seoul. |
Yikes! So how is a lady to defend herself? How does any human being, Korean or not, not understand the need for a chick that's the size of the average 6th grader to have some way of keeping a creep from coming at her or groping her? |
The point is to keep your wits about you like you already know how to do. One poster put it this way "All these horror stories you here never begin with 'So we were heading home from this Christian Rock Concert at 11 PM when...', typically they involve 'So I was in Itaewon, wasted and alone at 3AM, when...' "
Just like back home, someone here may try something. Handle it like you would back home- Your immediate safety is first, you can handle things afterwards. Don't think about crap on Dave's- Get away from the creep. After that use your support sources and your friendship networks to achieve a favorable result as circumstances dictate. It may happen, it may not.
Better than the lecture us grizzled veterans want to give is for you to meet other foreigners in your city and start to pick up from them as you see things in person. Remember the basics and don't stress. Don't be paranoid, but don't be naive either. |
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Fox
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Marzipoo wrote: |
| Fox wrote: |
| Marzipoo wrote: |
| Oh speaking of which, would I get in trouble for pepper spraying said cabbie? |
You can get in trouble for harming a Korean in any way, even if it's self defense, defense of your own property, or even accidental in an attempt to save them. Spraying pepper spray in someone's eyes here is not going to go down well, especially if it prevents him from inflicting any visible harm on you. And remember that westerners are both registered and rare here. In a lot of towns it would not be harm for them to hunt you down if you sprayed pepper spray in some cabbie's eyes and then fled the scene, and you'll seem all the guiltier for having run. You could probably get away with it in Seoul. |
Yikes! So how is a lady to defend herself? How does any human being, Korean or not, not understand the need for a chick that's the size of the average 6th grader to have some way of keeping a creep from coming at her or groping her? |
I don't know. Korea made the leap from peasant society to modern democracy fairly quickly and recently, and I don't think its legal tradition has caught up yet. Just be careful. Travelling with a friend is probably a good idea if you're going to be out late. |
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interestedinhanguk
Joined: 23 Aug 2010
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| Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 12:24 am Post subject: |
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| Marzipoo wrote: |
And when I hate it there, I don't think I'll be crying on the shoulders of somebody I just met a few months ago. I will naturally be on Skype sobbing to my family, boyfriend, friends, dog, neighbors, and mailman about how awful Korea is. |
It's time for Life in Korea-Lesson #2.
Most (if not all) people back home won't understand, and many will not care.
They haven't had the same experience; this is something so foreign to them. Countless foreigners in Korea can tell you how it is difficult to relate to people back home after having lived here. This is in regards to one's life here (sure you can still connect on other levels, such as the old days).
You may also be viewed as spoiled (maybe not the right word, but another one doesn't come to mind). They may see you over here, having this experience and that you shouldn't complain while having this fantastic opportunity. |
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